Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano - What is the meaning of his excommunication by the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith in the Vatican? Friday, July 5th, 2024

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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How do we handle conflicts?

People in authority in the Church and in society are much like you and me.

In the face of a difficult situation, we generally want to give other people the benefit of the doubt.

If it's serious enough or it keeps happening, then, we must take a closer look, and even investigate the situation ourselves or ask someone else to do it. This may or may not lead to clarity and to appropriate action. The more complicated the situation, the more time and effort are needed to clarify it and take steps toward the most desirable resolution. 

When complaints accumulate against a person, or when we ourselves come to a well deliberated conclusion that we must intervene, that's usually when we do it.

Each case is unique and there aren't really any cut and dry policies in our lives, and it's pretty much the same with our Church. At certain times in the past, Church authorities deemed it necessary to make judgments and excommunications more frequently, because there were open attacks on the Church or the truths of the Gospel and the Word of God, or the Church itself as the living organism founded by our Lord Jesus Christ on Peter and the Apostles. 

There have been eras in history when people looked at issues more in a black and white perspective, but with the extremely rapid development this past century in the social sciences, as well as the pure sciences, this has enhanced our understanding of the complexities of human life and behaviour. As a result, the Church now tends to be more circumspect and cautious, rather committed to investing more time and focused attention to details, and even reluctant to be shooting off frequent condemnations. In our lifetime, the shooting off of condemnations hasn't been anything resembling common practice; so, this latest excommunication seems unusual, but it really isn't.

Sooner or later, we must all render accounts, and those who make more noise are likely to attract more attention. There is another dimension to this; the personal dimension. So far, we've really only considered the issues, right and wrong, truth and falsehood.

The difference between the ways of the Lord and those of the enemy of humankind

There is also the difference between the ways of the Lord and the ways of the enemy of humankind, which of these we have been integrating into ourselves, and by which of these we live our lives and relations with others.

The enemy makes everything black and white, cut and dried, with no room for nuance, and quick to assign blame and condemn. It is the way of war and the culture of death.

The ways of the Lord reflect the awesome attributes of the Most Holy Trinity. There is truth, but also goodness and beauty. There is justice, but also mercy. God is never quick to judge, but always slow to condemn and eager to save.

When Church authorities, especially those of the Vatican, approach someone against whom there have been complaints or who stands out in criticizing the Pope or the Church itself - as Archbishop Vigano has consistently done since his retirement - the authorities are interested not only in the issues to be clarified, but equally in the attitude, words, behaviour, and actions of the other person.

Will the other approach peacefully, openly, with a docile spirit and willingness to accept the authority of the Church and manifest eagerness to obey and do the will of God? Such a person manifests a soul that is integrating the ways of the Lord into their own life, a life of holiness; a soul that is living in the Kingdom of God.

On the contrary, a person who is belligerent, condemning others left and right, accusing everyone, giving the impression that only THEY have the truth, and that everyone should be obeying THEM; well, such a soul is manifesting itself as caught up in the ways of the enemy of humankind, and the kingdom of this world, and most likely under the influence of the prince of this world; the same one who tempted Jesus in the desert.

What exactly is an excommunication?

Jesus declared that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is the sin against the Holy Spirit, which simply put, is the sin of a soul setting itself up against God, accusing God, closing itself off from God, pushing God aside and trying to take God's place as it were. As long as the gates of the mind, heart, and soul are closed to God, then it stands to reason that his grace, mercy, forgiveness, and love cannot enter into such a soul. It is basically condemning itself.

So, a declaration of excommunication is simply the Church declaring that such a soul has already cut itself off from God and the Church. Therefore, it would be sacrilegious for them in their rebellion to take the sacraments, because they are not in a proper disposition of soul. The excommunication is not a condemnation but an act of justice and mercy that is made in the hope that it will shake the person up and open them up to repentance and conversion.

Secular society, which has adopted the closed perspective of the enemy, sees everything in black and white; therefore, it is almost incapable of understanding the above dynamic and how the Church is ever seeking to help souls open themselves up to the truth, the goodness, the beauty, the justice and mercy of God, and to give God the first place in our lives; rather than setting ourselves up on any kind of personal throne or chair of authority.

Being ordained a deacon, priest, or bishop, or being appointed archbishop or cardinal, is a heavy burden of responsibility which only God's grace can help us carry. It is the same with the daily grace of Marriage. Those who accept daily their grace of vocation are able to carry themselves with humility before God, and are eager to show everyone else kindness and understanding, patience and goodness, mercy, forgiveness, and love, unconditionally; just as God shows each of us all these graces unconditionally and liberally. 

So, you can see from all this, that we are very much in need of having sympathy for one another, of showing kindness and understanding to one another, but also of standing up for the truth, for goodness, for beauty, for justice and mercy. We also need to do this with a calm and peaceful disposition, with only love towards those who disagree with us or cause trouble of any kind. For this we need the grace of God, the power, presence, and action of the Holy Spirit within us, enabling us to stand fast against any and all attacks against God and his purposes in the world and in Creation.

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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What is a woman to do when her man "treats her like dirt"? What does a man do when his woman "treats him like dirt"? When one "gets religion" and makes life hell for the other?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Hello Dear Suffering Soul, 

I thank the suffering soul who trusted me with remarks along those lines, and for putting trust in me. I will be as candid as I can be also with you who read me here.

First of all, I have deep respect for women, because of the great dignity which God our Creator has given you, and because of your deep capacity - when this feminine human nature is embraced and accepted by each woman - to give life and nurture life in others.

I also have deep respect for men, because of the great dignity which God our Creator has given you, us because I myself am a man, and because of man's deep capacity to engage the world, struggle with it to cultivate it, and eke out an existence from it for himself and his family.

Of course, men are also capable of giving life and nurturing, but it seems evident that God has specifically designed woman with this capacity. Similarly, women are also capable of engaging the world, struggling with it and cultivating it - in fact, in many cultures women do most of the tilling of the soil - but again, it seems evident that God has specifically designed man with this capacity.

Unfortunately, that same capacity in woman to be inclusive of others and to care for them, can also become a weak point that can be exploited by people who are either unscrupulous or who simply have not sufficiently matured so as to be sensitive to the dignity of others and still too selfish to become aware of others as living persons and to respect them. It's normal for a baby at the breast to be selfish because that is the first stage of life and the other stages have not yet developed. However, it is sad, even tragic, and downright dangerous when a full grown human being is still selfish and entirely preoccupied only with their own self; oblivious to others as living persons.

Man's capacity can also become a weak point exploited by others, which we can readily observe in the "new slavery" evident all over the planet; whereby men are drawn into "voluntary slavery" by being seduced by the "carrot" promising them rewards and advancement, but with the "stick" close behind, threatening to punish them or fire them if they don't comply. The fear, even terror, engendered by this new slavery explains why men surrender to long hours away from their wife, children, and home.

From this point on, I will write only from the woman's point of view, the female soul who wrote to me. Men have only to reverse the values for the text to equally apply to them in their situations of abuse or neglect by their woman.

This seems to be what you reported to me as happening to you by what you sense is a lack of respect, of caring, of responsibility, of friendship, of cooperation, and of love - authentic caring - on the part of your male partner.

If I understand correctly, you and he lived in intimacy for most of the past several years, but then when he suddenly took more interest in religion, he laid down "the law" to you; stating that you could no longer have intimacy unless you got married in the Church.

There is a difference between religion and faith, between rituals and spirituality. People can see themselves as "religious" because they are trying to follow what they perceive as "the rules", but this can turn into rigid and uncaring behaviour. The entire focus is on the rules, following them, being seen as following them, and wanting to escape punishment for not following them.

That was precisely the attitude and behaviour of most of the religious leaders who turned on Jesus and had Him killed. Jesus was the son of Mary but also the Son of God, and He still is, now that in his human body He rose from the dead, left the tomb, walked about meeting his disciples for 40 days, and then ascended to the Father's right hand in Heaven. People who rigidly try to follow religious rules do that because they have not yet actually met the living God in Person. God isn't real to them yet, not in a personal way, but only as a "big threatening figure in the sky" whom they believe to be ready to punish them as soon as they step out of line, or else be ready to throw them down into hell for all eternity at their moment of death. In effect, they understand nothing of who God is nor of the ways of the Lord.

Jesus seriously said that whatever we do to others - all the other people we meet on Earth, and especially the people in our own lives - we do those very same things to Jesus Himself. In other words, Jesus - along with his Father and the Holy Spirit - because they are so united together, we call them the Most Holy Trinity - because they love us without any conditions, they care for us, for each and every one of us so much, that they take personally whatever we do to one another, even to strangers.

That is why Jesus kept repeating: "Repent, and believe the good news."

What I just said about God's unconditional love is the good news. The bad news is that we are badly out of sync with God and his design for us, and we need to stop, turn around, repent, change our attitude and behaviours, and accept to live a new life in communion with God and at peace with our neighbour, and even with enemies.

What you need to hear, my daughter, is that God loves you; you are his daughter, and the dignity that He built into you from the moment of your conception is God's gift to you, the value of who you are for yourself as well as for others, and no one can take your dignity away from you.

You may at times be badly treated by others, but they only betray themselves, making visible the evil within them, or the limits of their goodness, their lack of maturity and responsibility, their lack of sensitivity and caring. Jesus proclaimed us blessed when we suffer in these ways, because we are being treated in the same way that He was treated. Even though Jesus is Love in Person; He was rejected, falsely accused, unfairly condemned, tortured, and cruelly executed. He accepted to suffer in this way because the Father sent Him into the world to demonstrate to humanity for all time what God is really like, and what authentic love looks like in a human being.

You options are, among the following, to accept what you suffer out of love for God, and offer your suffering as a pleasing sacrifice to God; as Jesus did on the Cross. No one can coerce us to do this; it is something that can only happen when we find within us the love to do it willingly and even gladly. That is why every day we need to be filled with God's love for us; filled with the Holy Spirit, because only God living within us and loving us can enable us to love with this same divine love.

Second, you can decide to withdraw from your man and, with God's help, find a better man more qualified and willing to be a true husband. God has filled you with dignity and his gifts and He wants to give you more... his truth, his goodness, and his beauty... and you don't need to feel obliged to "waste" your gifts on someone who is unwilling or unable to appreciate them or you, or who is incapable or unwilling to truly love you. Jesus warned us not to put our pearls (our dignity) before pigs, because they will turn around and maul us.

Third, you can try to have a mature and peaceful conversation with your man, expecting him to behave and chat like a responsible and mature adult. In such a conversation, there are no accusations. No one points a finger and cries out: "You...." Rather, each one calmly relates what it is like being who they are, what it is like to suffer as a result of attitudes shown, words said, actions done, and actions failed to be done. For example: "Yesterday, I heard the following words... these words stabbed me like a knife, and I cried for hours." When I honestly open my mind and heart to someone, their only options are to be silent, to believe me, or not believe me, or they can go on the defensive and try to justify themselves, or they can turn on me with an offensive barrage of accusations.... It can get ugly when one or both are not willing to be honest and humble, willing to believe and trust the other, willing to take responsibility for themselves and to acknowledge the unique life and person of the other.

No one can "put some sense into" another person's head. Each human person must accept to face life's challenges, to take responsibility for their own attitudes, thoughts, words, actions, and failures to act. This is what it means for a boy to become a man and for a girl to become a woman, for a child to become an adult. Each person must decide to stop blaming everyone else for what they suffer and for their disappointments. Life often sucks, and we all have to just get over it. We are called by God our Creator to learn that life is a gift, that other people are persons just like me, that they have dignity given them by God, that they have the right to exist, to breathe, and to live their life fully, and we need to be willing to be grateful, to cultivate an attitude of gratitude for life, for other people and what they contribute to our life, and ultimately, we are for a while on Earth to learn to be grateful to God and offer Him the worship that is due to Him.

When people enter into marriage with a 50 / 50 attitude, it is doomed to failure. God has designed us men and women to become a couple, and most of us try to do it. A few are called to live a solitary life, like priests and religious, and some professionals who dedicate their lives in service to humanity. In this enterprise of becoming a couple and entering into marriage, the man and the woman need to be mature and responsible, and they understand that the other is so precious that the other deserves that I give nothing less than 100% of everything that I am and have all of the time. Naturally, because of the original sin when human beings broke their trust in God and in each other, because of our mortal condition; we never measure up to this ideal of 100% of me and all that I am and have all of the time. That is why we need to practice showing each other kindness and understanding, mercy and forgiveness. This is especially true because we grow and develop at a different pace, in different seasons of life, and go through different stages at different times from each other.

Feel free, my daughter, to reply with further thoughts or questions.

At some point, it would make sense for these exchanges to be between the priest and the couple. If a couple are not capable or willing to open up to a priest with complete and mutual trust; then it would appear that the man and woman are not really a couple. They may be living under the same roof, they may be sharing the same bed, they may even have sexual intimacy, but it is unlikely that it is anything like what God our Creator designed us to be capable of, nor what He intended for us in order to experience life and his blessing in abundance. God's design for the intimate union of a man and a woman is that He designed us for much more than simply copulating as animals do. God designed us to be capable of a union of minds, hearts, and souls, as well as of bodies.

It makes no sense for one to treat the other like dirt all week and then suddenly expect to get intimate. The true and authentic intimacy can only be honest, pure, and true when it has something to express and celebrate... the countless acts of selfless service and authentic caring and tenderness one for the other all through the week, day and night, attentive to each other, striving to fulfill the other's needs, appreciative of the other's caring service and attention to their children. Then it becomes much more than a brief physical climax, but a profound and lingering union of souls melting into one another. Then, after that intimacy, the husband and wife lie next to each other in silence, in rapt contemplation of the profound mystery into which they have been drawn, into a truly "Holy Communion" of persons, as holy as the Holy Communion with Jesus in his Body and Blood. That wife is touched by Jesus when her husband chastely embraces her without thought of grabbing pleasure for himself but entirely preoccupied with blessing her. That husband is touched by Jesus when his wife lovingly accepts his chaste embraces and he understands that Jesus is loving him through her warm presence and affectionate attachment to him....

                                                   Pax + Caritas,       Fr. Gilles

See below my previous post: How can we help our parents, especially when they grow old, as they suffer - and we suffer - because of their faults?

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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How can we help our parents, especially when they grow old, as they suffer - and we suffer - because of their faults?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Dear caring daughter or son of an aging parent,

How do I know that you care about your aging parent? It is simply because you are taking the time to read this post.

Christ is risen, alleluia!

I'm so happy to know that you are reading this probably because you care about your aging parent(s). Your relationship with an aging parent or parents may in fact be difficult, unpleasant, or even painful. The good news is that you still care! Even whatever trouble may be happening between you and your aging parent(s) may in fact be good news; not because we should enjoy pain, but because of the ways of the Lord with us. After you read all this, I think you may agree that what is happening is good news. 

God is good... all the time... and all the time... God is good!

I hope and pray for you that otherwise all is well with you. All is well with me too despite the trials of life, and often, because of these trials... God has been giving me some amazing graces after two and a half years of doing the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola.... 

The Madonna House Apostolate

Recently, I really enjoyed spending three weeks at Madonna House Apostolate Training Center in Combermere ON, which included Holy Week and the Easter Octave. You would really love the faith community there. Are you single or married? If married, your spouse would probably enjoy the experience as well. Guests are called "working guests" because MHA accepts donations but charges no fee, whether people stay for a week, a month, or a year, and they do expect all lay men and women guests to participate fully in the life of the community - prayers, meals, manual labour, Holy Mass, and recreation.... Guests sleep in dormitories for women or for men. Priest guests, especially elders, are a bit more free to do manual labour or not because they know how much priests are exhausted when they come and are very much in need of a rest.

It is good to harbour feelings of gratitude and give thanks to God our Creator

I join you in giving thanks to God for the wonderful graces and progress with which the Lord has been blessing you in your life. How do I know this? It is unlikely that you would be reading this if it were otherwise. Even the most difficult and painful, lonely human existence has blessings, most of which we don't even realize or notice. It has taken me over forty years to realize such blessings as my heart beating and my lungs breathing, over which I have no control at all. 

How wonderful it is the way Almighty God is so patient with us, so careful not to do damage to our free will, which is why God is being so patient with your aging parent(s). It is wonderful that you are now trying to love your aging parent(s) in accord with their needs, and now the Lord will help you to love your aging parent(s) the way they need to be loved, which may not the way you have been trying to do it. Don't beat yourself up about this, though, because we all fall into this trap; trying to change our parents. It's called the "role reversal trap" when children try to behave as parents towards their own parents, especially when they become old or older. God has given us wisdom about this in the Old Testament book of Sirach chapter 3.

We are not on Earth to find happiness. Oh, really?!?

We are not on Earth to find happiness, because this is something that the Most Holy Trinity is preparing for us in eternity. We are on Earth to become saints, and the only way to become a saint is to walk in the steps of Jesus and accept the Holy Spirit's guidance to live as Jesus did. This of necessity includes accepting freely and gladly carrying the cross of suffering that life brings us, either in our own life, or because of our love for others. You may find this hard to believe, but Jesus really wants to help you become a saint, like all the saints now in Heaven! Jesus will do this through the ordinary events of your life.

The "ways of the Lord"

We are all learning "the ways of the Lord" and his patience is something we generally find difficult to accept, especially when it comes to other people in our lives. We have the impression we know what they need, and we try to tell them what to do, but this generally doesn't work. If anything, the more we persist in "nagging at them", the more likely it is that they will "harden" their views and "dig in their heels". It's human nature.

We mostly don't realize it, but God is "at work" within us, in our lives

This may be a new stage in your life now. Whenever we turn aside from any form of bad habit, evil behaviour, or sin, such as when we accept to live in the grace of chastity, the Holy Spirit cleanses the eyes of our mind, heart, and soul, and we begin to see more clearly and to see as God sees. We will need all eternity to approach the wisdom and love that is in the Most Holy Trinity, but rejoice and be glad that the Holy Spirit now seems to be leading you on this path. You can know this, because Jesus is sharing with you his Sacred Heart. His Sacred Heart suffers, even though his humanity is risen from the dead and now immortal in Heaven, because He FEELS our sufferings as though they are his own. This is what perfect love does.

So, Jesus is now inviting you to accept to endure the suffering you see in your aging parent(s), simply to accept to suffer what they are suffering, without trying to change them in any way.  This is how God behaves towards us, but Jesus also prays to the Father, interceding for us in eternity. Romans 8:34 Jesus ever lives to intercede for us with his Father. Hebrews 7:25

Honouring our parents may be the most difficult commandment to observe....

As your parents' child, you owe your aging parent(s) respect and love, according to the 4th commandment in Exodus 20:12: "Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." On this depends the possibility for you to live well and long in the land. These are the ways of the Lord which He wants us to respect so that we can then receive his abundant blessings. Even if your aging parent(s) were terrible criminals, you would still owe them respect and need to honour them for having participated with God our Creator in giving you life. The more your aging parent(s) have in addition to this done good things for you, then you need all the more to honour and respect them and love them. Jesus will help you to love your aging parent(s) as Jesus and the Father and the Holy Spirit love you.

The difficult temptation to treat our aging parents as though they were children

It is not your place in life to reform your aging parent(s). They must do that for themselves, just as you are now doing it for yourself, with the grace of God. You will have peace about your aging parent(s)'s troubles once you adopt Jesus' own attitude of trust in the Father on behalf of your earthly parents and join Jesus in interceding for them. You can do this by offering what you suffer on your aging parent(s)'s behalf at every Mass, putting your offering of yourself with your aging parent(s) on the altar with the bread and wine.

The liberating Christian practice of "becoming a living sacrifice"

Day by day, every time you suffer something with or because of your aging parent(s), every time immediately intercede for them, talk to our Heavenly Father about it, ask Jesus to have mercy on your aging parent(s), and join Jesus in praying for your aging parent(s). You can offer the Divine Mercy Chaplet for your aging parent(s); it only takes a few minutes. Every big or little thing willingly endured out of love... every prayer... every gesture of kindness... is an agreeable offering to God, and this regular practice makes us into a "living sacrifice pleasing to God" according to Saint Paul in his Letter to the Romans 12:1.

You can fast and offer penances to God on behalf of your aging parent(s), but offering your participation at Holy Mass is the most powerful thing you can do for them. Know that your personal prayers, fasts, and penances you offer for your aging parent(s) are the most powerful acts you can make on their behalf.

In time, when they are ready, your aging parent(s) will also experience the graces you now enjoy, and they too will learn to put their trust in God instead of in earthly things.

Peace to you and your family. Through the communion of saints, I am glad to join you in praying for your aging parent(s).

Remember to ask our Blessed Mother Mary, Queen of Peace, to also join you in praying for your aging parent(s). "Mother Mary, pray for us. Thank you, Mother Mary." "Saint Joseph, just man and foster father of Jesus our Saviour, pray for us."

Christ is risen, alleluia!

                                                   Pax + Caritas,       Fr. Gilles

    

                      Fr. Gilles A. Surprenant – Associate Priest of the Madonna House Apostolate

 

                         "Were not our hearts burning within us as He talked to us on the road

                                              and explained the Scriptures to us?"  Luke 24:32

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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When we die... what happens to us then? Why do we pray for the dead?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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There is life after death... but what is it like?

Most Christians believe in eternal life... it's right there in the Creed we all accept

As Catholic and Orthodox Christians, as well as the various "Protestant, Evangelical, Baptist, or Pentecostal" denominations; we all believe that human life continues beyond death into eternity with God or away from God. Our eternal destiny depends a great deal on our own will, on whether or not we are willing to accept God's love, and to accept his love on his terms.

Catholic and Orthodox and some other Christians pray for the dead. Why do we do it?

It is an indication of this faith in the eternal life that God wants to give us that we pray for the dead. Why do we pray for the dead? It's just in case they might have a little bit of "unfinished business" to attend to... any hesitation to let themselves be embraced by God's brilliant and intense love... so our prayers and offerings of Holy Mass are an encouragement and spiritual help for them. If they don't need it, then of course they will simply pass it on to some other poor soul who needs it.

What happens to us when we die remains mysterious... some don't believe in anything

What prompts me to write is the awesome mystery of what happens to us when our spirit leaves behind our mortal body, much as we put aside our clothing when we prepare for sleep at night. Over the years I've been disturbed to discover that many people don't really believe that anything happens to us when we die or understand it, or if they do, they don't much know what to do about it. Equally serious is the fact that people not only consider ending their life prematurely, before their natural time to die, but in some cases actually take measures to end their life of have someone end it for them.

Our dubious distinction: Canada leads the way in expanding "MAiD"... i.e. medical suicide

Canada is now almost leading the world in extending "MAiD" - medical aid in dying - to almost anyone who wants it. It began with allowing it for people just about at the end of their life anyway but who are in great pain or suffering, physically, or psychologically, or both. Gradually, the barriers have been pushed further and further back, until it is conceivable that one day anyone will be able to ask to be killed just because they are tired of living. This is pretty scary....

Asking for MAiD is mostly an indication they feel that no one really cares for them

What is truly sad and tragic is that, in all likelihood, most of those who have asked for MAiD, or who are planning to do so, probably wouldn't do it if they knew that someone cared for them, and that their condition is not a burden others are unwilling to bear with them; in solidarity with them out of love. We all need to be reassured at times that we are loved; this is our human condition, to be uncertain. 

I suppose if I am miserable to everybody during my lifetime, there may not be anybody willing to show me that they care for me when I become terminally or seriously ill. Still, a truly loving person may still show that they care even for a miserable, grouchy, uncaring, hard-hearted person. Some people truly are that loving; their life is so full of love, that they have to pour it out on others. 

"Killing people off" may already be a covert economic strategy!

What is truly evil and may actually be criminal is the possibility that health care institutions may look upon killing people as economically advantageous... to get rid of people who are suffering and lingering in order to free up their bed and room in the hospital or other institution. 

A few thoughts that may help....

I don't know how you were raised - with faith or not - or what kind of life you have lived, or what sort of challenges you have faced, what pain and suffering you have endured, but still, it won't hurt for me to share a few thoughts with you, and who knows, you may find them helpful.

Our mortal human life is, paradoxically, surprisingly resilient; yet fragile 

Our mortal flesh, our human life in the body, is amazingly resilient... just think of all that we go through in life and survive; as your oved ones may have done their whole life long. Yet, when it comes right down to it, our life is also quite fragile. When enough pressure is put on our life, it simply stops.... All that we have become, on the inside, is what we call the soul or spirit. When we die... what happens to us then?

If science can't observe or measure it, does that mean it doesn't exist?

Many if not most scientists today, as brilliant as they are, deny the existence of our soul simply because they can't "observe" it, measure it, demonstrate or "prove" that it exists. They track all of our speaking, behaving, and acting to activity - the firing of neurons - in the brain. So for them, whatever doesn't track to the brain and show the firing of neurons isn't real and doesn't exist.

However, other scientists - especially neuroscientists - have begun to demonstrate that some of who we are and what we do is not at all related to activity in our brain... it remains quiet and "dark" with no synapses firing; yet a lot is going on inside us. They have observed that when we decide NOT to do something, the brain is quiet and dark. THAT decision doesn't come from our brain but from elsewhere outside our flesh. We who believe know where such decisions come from... they come from our will, our mind, our soul.

Beyond science, we have other ways of knowing the truth....

There are sources of knowledge and information beyond science, such as divine revelation as we have it in the Bible. Jesus Christ has provided plenty of evidence that his word is reliable. There are also the mystical experiences and intuitions of the saints. It is in our soul that God comes to dwell with us in Spirit. God our Father created our soul in the image and likeness of God... our soul is spirit as God is spirit, as the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are spirit. They are divine spirit and we are human spirit. Our soul has an "empty place" deep within us that God designed for Him to come and dwell within us. We are most fully alive, most fully human, most fully ourselves when we welcome God within us. That is why Holy Communion is such an awesome gift, a priceless gift.

Where is your departed loved one now?

So, where is your departed loved one now, their soul, their spirit, all that they came to BE by the time they drew their last breath on this Earth? The Bible tells us that God receives our soul when it must leave the body behind. Our soul is, in a way, naked or unclothed anymore with its flesh, and in his goodness God provides a "heavenly habitation" for the soul while it must wait for the FINAL RESURRECTION when God will raise up our mortal bodies to be like his own in glory. If you are interested you will find many quotes from the Bible about this HERE.

So we have God's word on this... nothing is lost when we die... because all that we have become is precious in God's eyes and He welcomes us into his radiant presence to share eternal life with God, the Most Holy Trinity. We have trouble understanding who and what God is because God is so different.... One single Divine Being who is so full of life that there are actually Three Divine Persons living in intimate community, family, unity and communion of love - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

The Incarnation of the Son of God as Jesus is the greatest event in the universe!

The Father sent the Son and the Son accepted to go, to come down among us when Mary replied to the Archangel Gabriel: "I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word." Luke's Gospel chapter one verse 38. That's when the Son took on flesh and became Jesus.

We celebrate that moment every year on March 25th, the Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord. That's coming up again in this New Year 2024, just next March 25th. Happy Feast Day!

We believe in the "communion of saints"; so, why not put it into practice?

All the above being true, you can continue to be "in communion" with your departed loved one in the spirit, that is, deep within yourself. We're talking about deeper than feelings, deeper than thoughts, way down deep at the centre of who you are, where God comes to be with you... it's in that place that we taste the goodness of God, that we know we are loved, that we know we are united to those we love and can never be separated from them... regardless of how we may "feel". Allow me to close with a suggestion: let's "practice the communion of saints". 

This "communion of saints" is too deep, too mysterious to capture or put into words, really, and our mind cannot grasp it nor control it, but we can gently allow ourselves to enter into it. It is the Holy Spirit who carries us there and who instills divine peace into us, no matter what may be going on up on the surface of our awareness... loss, grief, fear, regrets, guilt, anxiety, concern, desperation... and all sorts of "negative" thoughts and emotions... or even the positive ones... peace, love, hope, faith, consolation, joy, enthusiasm.... All of these of which we "are aware" happen, we could say, "on the surface" of our lives. God "moves" within our soul "in the depths".

We are complex beings living on many levels and dimensions all at the same time, and it's okay. We don't have to understand it all and we certainly don't need to have it all "under control". Life is an adventure to be lived, not a problem to be solved.

So, if you have recently lost a loved one who has died and left this mortal existence, my sincere sympathies on your loss, and please know that every day we pray for the departed souls and their intentions and all your intentions as well every time we approach the Altar for Holy Mass....

Peace to you all and your families, and may you have a peaceful entry into the Season of Lent in just four weeks. May the Word of God which we will hear during the next couple of weeks bring you much consolation and hope.

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Pope Francis, representing Jesus the Good Shepherd, is authorizing the giving of blessings even to those who are in "irregular situations" as individuals or as couples, but without it resembling a marriage ritual - Isn't this confusing? If confusing; to whom is it confusing?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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On December 18th, 2023, in an audience with Víctor Manuel Card. Fernández, Prefect, and Mons. Armando MATTEO, Secretary for the Doctrinal Section of the DICASTERY FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH, Pope Francis signed the following document in several languages: 

Declaration Fiducia Supplicans On the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings

        Now, people are wondering and sending me questions and statements about what this really means and how it will play out in reality among us flawed human beings. Here follows an email exchange I have been having with one such seeker of the truth, goodness, and beauty of God. My reply is followed by the seeker's commentary and questioning.

The document itself in ENGLISH.... and in FRENCH 

Home page of the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith 

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First of all, the best we can do is to prayerfully read the actual document itself. You will find links to the document in English and in French up above. 

My initial reply in this dialogue exchange and reflection.... 

We can be too quick to jump to conclusions and not take the time to understand what exactly is intended by these declarations and decisions by Pope Francis and the Vatican dicasteries.

What is a blessing?

I understand blessing first of all in its fundamental sense: to say good words. Jesus clearly expects us to do that unconditionally for anyone and everyone we meet, even enemies, and perhaps especially to enemies and those we may consider "unclean"; which is something Jesus reproached the Pharisees for refusing to do.

The spiritual dimension of a blessing

On a more spiritual or mystical level, to bless someone is to believe that when we do or say good to someone, God himself is the One who truly blesses. Every human being, even criminals, have a right to be blessed because God wants to bless them. A blessing is never an approval of sin, but aimed at the soul in order to lift it up closer to God.

In this particular case, people in irregular situations are already suffering to various degrees in their persons. The simple fact that they seek a blessing from the Church or from a priest, deacon, or bishop indicates that they in some true sense are calling out to the Lord. We have no grounds upon which to withhold a blessing from anyone who asks, no matter their condition. That is why Pope Francis keeps repeating that we should not subject them to exhaustive moral scrutiny and examination before even considering their request, or go so far as to subject them to a humiliating moral examination and judgment of their life and conditions as the Pharisees did. 

From the "ivory tower" and "glass castle" of their wealth, prestige, power, and authority; the Pharisees looked down upon people as "lesser human beings" and, for the most part, as "ritually unclean", that is, as not observing every last one of the 619 laws, rules, and prescriptions and interpretations of the commandments and prescriptions given by God to Moses for the people to observe in order to be righteous before God. 

Now, when a soul is asking for moral guidance or confession, well, that is clearly something else. Then we are certainly obliged to guide them through an examination of their conscience based on divine revelation and all that God wants them to know; so that they can adjust themselves and begin taking steps towards aligning themselves with God's will. They may not always be able to go the full distance all at once or even in their lifetime, but may be able to make progress over time, one step at a time. No one has any right to impose the full journey instantaneously on demand on anyone... the journey is intended by God to take a lifetime, whether that turns out to be long or short. No one has the right to insinuate themselves in between God and a soul... that territory belongs to God alone.

Blessings as sacraments

On a sacramental level, the blessing of couples as couples, especially in a ritual resembling marriage, can clearly only be given to a man and a woman, and even then, under the right circumstances and personal dispositions.

I find it sad when people at any level of status or condition in the Church react with great indignation to Pope Francis' determination to get the Church to stop being so judgmental, so Pharisaical, and turn around and become more pastoral in order to welcome people in their simple requests for a blessing. 

Jesus will one day return on the clouds as Judge to separate the sheep from the goats, but in the meantime, He presents Himself as the Good Shepherd. Every time Pope Francis calls on us to welcome people, regardless of their life situation, and in this case to give a blessing, he also makes it clear that for couples in irregular situations (still bound before God by a previous marriage, or both of the same gender, as in two men or two women, and so on), the blessing cannot resemble anything like a marriage ritual. He cannot make it clearer than that. 

We have no right to tell anyone that they don't belong and can't have access to God's blessing and mercy. Jesus keeps the door to Himself open, and no one has the right to slam it shut in anyone's face, no matter their condition or situation. Jesus made this clear to Sister Saint Faustina Kowalska when He made her the "Secretary of Divine Mercy" and told her how much his merciful love wants to pour itself out into souls; they have only to ask. 

However, none of us has the authority to change God's original plan for marriage and family. One husband married to one wife is God's ideal plan for the procreation and parenting of children. There is some wiggle room, as there was for Mary, who became pregnant with the Son of God by the action of the Holy Spirit. Joseph still married her, after the angel Gabriel told him the child was from the Holy Spirit, and he served Mary well as a good husband and Jesus as a "foster father". Joseph was the only earthly father that Jesus knew and loved. 

All this huffing and puffing by ecclesiastics and even lay people who take it on themselves to criticize and even condemn Pope Francis smacks of clericalism and moral superiority and is light years away from anything resembling humility; which is the only way to approach Almighty God. Such people show nothing but contempt for souls and the suffering of humanity and expose themselves as living in some kind of glass castle or ivory tower. They feel called to act as the great defenders of morality, the ten commandments, and the dignity of the Church and of God Himself, but they are deluded. 

God can and does take care of Himself and of his truth and doesn't need champions. It is enough for us to do as Jesus did and to teach and proclaim the truth, simply, and peacefully; letting people take it in and take the time they need to assimilate it and integrate it into their way of living and behaving towards others over their lifetime. Proclaiming the truth does not exempt us from the obligation to obey Jesus' command to love one another and to extend his mercy to others. 

It is wrong and might even be mortal sin to try to pound moral principles into people's hearts, minds, and souls as a complete package that they must absorb in its entirely NOW because WE DEMAND IT. Treating people this way objectifies them, reducing them to objects who must receive our demands. We then have no respect for the dignity God our Creator has given them as human beings. To make such declarations and demands with everyone on every occasion, every circumstance, at all times and in all places, is a pretence of moral righteousness. It puts obstacles in front of people as pre-conditions to receiving any and all services or blessings. This I believe is the entire point of Pope Francis' campaign to get the Church to become more pastoral, more welcoming, more humble like our Master the Good Shepherd; that is, to get out of the way of people seeking God and let them go to Him.

The Most Holy Trinity know in their infinite wisdom that human souls come only with great difficulty to the full knowledge, acceptance, and living of the truth, of goodness, and of beauty, and as St. Peter wrote in his letter, what appears to us as delay is God's patience shown to souls. He "wants none to perish, but all to come to repentance." Great will be the shock of those with rigid, judgmental minds when they draw their last breath and come into the overwhelming radiance of truth, goodness, beauty, justice, and mercy of the Love of the Most Holy Trinity. That first entry into God's Presence will be terribly embarrassing for many who are so convinced of their moral high ground in this life. That is why our merciful Father provides for the possibility of purification in Purgatory.... Thanks be to God for that. I will quite likely need it, and you may need it too. 

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The original query from a devout Catholic seeking clarity in these confusing times:

According to the latest document from the Vatican, under certain conditions couples in “irregular” (sinful?) situations and same-sex couples could receive blessings, provided these blessings don’t give the appearance of sacramental matrimony.

           Since the publication and promulgation of this document, cardinals, bishops, even entire episcopal conferences have stated that they will not implement such blessings.

           This brings to mind two approved apparitions and their prophecies – Fatima and Akita:

           From Fatima: Sr. Lucia of Fatima told Cardinal Carlo Caffarra that a "decisive battle between the kingdom of Christ and Satan will be over marriage and the family."

From Akita: On October 13, Mary then warned of the impending dangers for the Church.

"The work of the devil will infiltrate even into the Church in such a way that one will see cardinals opposing cardinals, bishops against bishops. The priests who venerate me will be scorned and opposed by their confreres...churches and altars sacked; the Church will be full of those who accept compromises and the demon will press many priests and consecrated souls to leave the service of the Lord.

           Folks – these prophecies have come true!

           Let us pray many rosaries of repentance and for the Holy Spirit to send us courageous cardinals, bishops, and priests who will lead us to our salvation by “preaching the Gospel in season and out of season”  (II Tim 4:2).

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Dialogue partner's reply to my response as above to the original quwry, eagerly seeking the truth and what is right and in accord with God's will:

Whatever is intended by Pope Francis in this or other writings/speeches he has made, there is almost always great confusion; his remarks, while well intentioned, can be taken many ways, and those include by enemies WITHIN the Church!  Lest we forget, Pope Paul VI had proclaimed that the smoke of Satan has entered the Church.

I’m absolutely sure that the Blessed Mother revealed the prophecies to Srs. Lucia and Agnes for our edification and salvation.  Well, here are the facts - cardinals and bishops ARE against each other; the issue of homosexuality has been in the background for a long time, including so-called “gay marriage”. Couples living together (“irregular situations”) without the sacrament of matrimony are living in sin. That is the teaching. It is the duty of every baptized Catholic to pray, regularly receive the sacraments, and encourage everyone to do the same. That is also the mission of the Church.

While the document takes great pains to differentiate a blessing from an endorsement of these “couples”, it is not clear what the purpose of this blessing is - a call to repentance?.../why people in such situations seek a blessing? Confusion!

Fatima and Akita are approved apparitions; the BVM does not lie! Sorry Gilles, but I strongly disagree. I continue to pray for all of the ordained.

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My further reply, also seeking God's will for us all: 

I frankly enjoy these dialogues with you, because you never lack for an expression of conviction. Still, on this Earth, I believe that none of us are capable of comprehending, let alone giving appropriate and just expression to, the complete and full wisdom of the Most Holy Trinity. The best we can do is mutter partialities, like the "ligue du vieux poêle" who make hockey commentaries fun.

The social upheaval of the 20th century

In our societies that were not devastated as were the "theatres of war" during WWII - there emerged a generalized selfishness due to the sudden prosperity of the 1950's, which we must remember was a result of society's mobilization for world war. This sudden prosperity creared a disparity between our society's values and the new "lifestyles of prosperity", which in turn caused a crisis in parenting. The new generations may not have understood it, but they observed the prosperity which came out of the business of killing people in war. 

We can understand how the young would have trouble with this disparity between responsible values their parents tried to pass on to them from the past and what they now saw as at times reckless living due to prosperity in the present. It would be untrue and unjust to shift the entire blame to these youth for becoming part of what is now seen as their irresponsible "teen age" demographic. These rapid changes were accompanied by the cultural, psychological, societal, and spiritual "explosion" of the 60's - this would include what is still called the "sexual revolution", which is ongoing today all over the world. 

All this upheaval ushered in what we could call a carefree abandon of morality and bold exploration of human boundaries inherent in civilized societies until then. Going beyond the boundaries, demolishing them, and substituting other values or even anti-values went on throughout the 70's, 80's, 90's and even until today. Many are those who have lost any bearing to the truth or any moral compass, and legion perhaps are those who never had the benefit of even hearing about a moral compass or direction, meaning, or purpose for their life.

The outbreak of scandals in the past three decades

However, much of what we have seen of scandalous sin in recent decades was already there to some degree, but was hypocritically hidden behind carefully starched collars and fine lace. Divine Providence has allowed the past century to happen for God's divine kind purposes. One reason people rebelled against the morality of their parents and society is because until then it had been imposed, without much room for questioning or understanding. You recall how in the 1950's we had to render our memorized catechism answers, complete with correct punctuation. Questions were not allowed, and understanding was deemed unnecessary. Only blind obedience was required. 

This entire approach to the education and formation of the young and of evangelization was wrong. God does not impose his will on us; that is not his way. The ways of the Lord are not our ways. Rather, his ways are more like the behaviour of the farmer who watches and waits for the crop to arise on its own. It is true that obedience is the highway to communion with the Most Holy Trinity, but God wants our obedience to be not blind, but freely and gladly given, and with increasing understanding. 

The authoritative Church past did not help people face life's challenges with free will 

In times past, the Magisterium behaved much like a hammer, and when you're a hammer, everything becomes a nail. For centuries, the documents emerging from councils were long lists of condemnations to hell. In Québec, if people have abandoned the Church, it is manifestly because for centuries the Church failed to mentor people toward love of God; failing to direct people to grow to moral maturity and learn to make their own right choices, attitudes, and behaviours, as well as works. For this to have happened, it would have been necessary for the Church to accept the risk that people would make mistakes, which God does with us.

When you apply unrelenting pressure, you prepare the way for an inevitable explosion. This is a law of nature. No matter what stance a pope takes, there will always be plenty of those around who will misinterpret and wreak havoc; which is the way of the enemy of humanity, ever ready to exploit us at our weakest point.

Thankfully, the landscape of the Church was not entirely bleak. There were some religious teachers and some pastors with greater maturity, autonomy of mind, understanding and wisdom of heart; who did in fact mentor other religious, pastors, and also parents. They taught them not only to understand the Word of God and the Church's teachings and Tradition, but also to apply the truth to life and to think and take responsibility for themselves. 

Reality is complex and we need to let Jesus be Lord 

As usual, this discourse cannot but go around in circles unless we admit that the reality is far more complex than can be delineated in a few paragraphs. For my part, I cling to the belief that the Lord Jesus is not on vacation, nor asleep; nor has he retired or quit. He remains Lord of Lords and King of Kings, but also the Good Shepherd. Both are true: God's divine justice and his divine mercy. His mercy is just and his justice is merciful. We cannot attempt to have one without the other.

One thing seems certain: there is no going back to a Church with which the Pharisees would have been most comfortable or would have admired - a Church wherein the "righteous" from on high in their ivory or glass towers and rich palaces condemn all the "unclean" - and see themselves as superior to the rest of humanity, "the great crowd of the unwashed". Jesus died to manifest the hollow emptiness of that attitude and approach, and I believe He will not tolerate his Church emulating or trying to go back to that hypocritical backwardness.

God wants all to be saved and we had best not hinder his efforts

Yes, Pope Francis is trying to convey to both clergy and laity alike, to unbelievers and atheists, and to all, that God is both just and merciful - that Marriage is only between one man and one woman for life in all fidelity and chastity - but that all those unable or unwilling to enter into that mode of living still remain children of God, whom He loves, and for whom Jesus died and rose again. Therefore, all can approach in their search for God and seek a blessing, or guidance, or confession, or Christian initiation. 

We may fool humans for a time, but no one can fool God 

If any attempt to approach with a false conscience or in a futile attempt to extract from the Church anything for which it has no authority to grant; then they may fool humans for a while, but they will never be able to fool God. When the ultimate and terrifying moment comes for us to find ourselves face to face with the Almighty, the Creator of the universe; then all pretense will fall away, and the soul will find itself irremediably naked before the Divine Scrutiny, which is both just and merciful. What will happen then will depend a lot on the soul's disposition. If it still refuses to bend to the Divine Will, it will opt for hell with all the rebellious angels and other human souls in that frame of conscience.

If it accepts to humbly bend to and make room for the Divine Will but is still too embarrassed to endure the intense and radiant Divine Love, it will opt to remove itself for a time from that blazing light and heat and find refuge in Purgatory; for as long as it takes for it to fully embrace the Divine Will, Truth and Goodness, Justice, Mercy, and Love.

For those who are already there, they will hear: "Beloved of my Father, enter into your divine inheritance. Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into your Master's Joy." 

As my lively dialogue partner has indicated, we had best pray to God - and ask our Blessed Mother Mary to intercede for us sinners, for all of humanity - so that we may all come to the knowledge and love of God. 

See 2 Peter 3:8-10; Ephesians 3:19-21; 4:13-16; 1 Timothy 2:1-6

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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