Tips on how to "navigate" our interior life among all the "voices" competing with each other in our spirit

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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This reflection is in response to my observations of parents with young children as well as adolescnets - in addition to the normal challenges of their daily routine - who are faced with our common challenges but also at times unexpected or disturbing troubles, including forms of evil.

Life is beautiful but complex, and we human beings are complex living beings with many dimensions: body, mind, heart / psyche, and soul / spirit, with physical senses - exterior and interior - varied intellectual and psychological faculties such as perception, conceptualization, cognition, memory, imagination, and so on. We also have "spiritual senses and faculties" such as conscience, the ability to say no, the ability to reason and distinguish between good and evil, and a capacity for relationship with our Creator God.

 Please feel free to come back in comments with any thoughts or questions you may have. Please also feel free to share this with close family and friends, such as with you spouse if you are married. Companions on the journey of life help us to understand ourselves as they take interest in listening to us give expression to our thoughts, feelings, experiences, questions, doubts, fears, anxieties, and deep desires.

WHAT ABOUT GOD?

Our God will always be mysterious... 3 divine Persons so close in communion that they are as one, one God, one divine being, which is an intimate communion of divine persons. This means that our relations with them, with God, will probably always also be mysterious.

That being said, there are many ways to pray, to "be with God", in the course of our busy lives, and each form of prayer offers us a different and complementary experience, a different way of "being with God, visiting with God" who is ALWAYS PRESENT. The sacraments are particularly powerful ways to "be with God" and to receive all that God wants to give us.

WHERE IS GOD AMID OUR INTERIOR "VOICES"?

In our days and nights, as we pay attention to ourselves and agree to explore our "inner world" in our mind, heart, body, and soul, we discover three kinds of "voices".

THE PRIMARY "VOICE" WITHIN US IS GOD OUR CREATOR

The primary "voice" within us often goes unnoticed simply because it is the united Voice of God embedded within us, in the centre of our soul, rooted with us from the very first moment of our conception, in our immortal soul. In our deep center, in our soul, we are forever young, because our soul is immortal. Someday, in the resurrection, God will transform our bodies - wherever they are - and make them immortal like our soul, as Jesus was after his Resurrection, and as Mary is since her Assumption into Heaven. This voice of God within us is like the instinct that guides migratory birds to their destination. 

Our spirit is naturally oriented towards God our Creator to guide us to Him. However, our human condition now, since the original sin, is like a fog making it a little more difficult to notice, to recognize, to discern God's voice within us. Not to worry, the Most Holy Trinity watches over us like good parents watch over their children and pour into us life, vitality, their love, and spiritual helps we call graces to lift us up, enlighten us, form us, and guide us along the way; always respecting our free will.

The Presence of God within us is, since our Baptism, the natural environment of our interior life. Our basic inner voice emerges from God into our own self, our own person, in the living "being" that we are with its different "components": our mind, heart, body, and soul. This voice of our individual and unique "self" sometimes echoes the truth, but often enough, it may be mistaken. That is why we live "in the school of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph", the Holy Family. We are constantly being "formed" and "guided", and the choice is always ours to make. The Word of God in the Bible is our basic diet and spiritual nourishment... we need at least a little from the Word of God every day.

THE SECOND VOICE WE NOTICE IS OUR OWN

Our first "voice" is therefore our own. As we take in the Word of God, and "offer hospitality" to the Father, to Jesus, and to the Holy Spirit; they form and develop who we are, and they give us divine light, they correct misconceptions and misunderstandings, and they guide our inner voice to keep us on the right path.

THE FIRST VOICE WE NOTICE AS INFANTS IS THAT OF OUR PARENTS... THEN, THERE ARE OTHER VOICES OUTSIDE OF US TOO

There is a second "voice"... that of others around us and in the bigger world. We at times hear echoes within us of the voice of our parents, grandparents, and other significant people; who have contributed to our formation. Their voices become part of us and part of our own inner voice.

WE NEED TO KNOW THERE IS A THIRD VOICE... THAT OF THE ENEMY OF MANKIND

There is a third "voice"... that of the "enemy of mankind" which tries to turn us away from God and lead us astray. Originally, as in Genesis, the first book in the Bible, this enemy was the demon, the devil, the rebellious angel, who is jealous of us, wants to obstruct our relationship with our Creator, and ultimately to destroy us. God permits this enemy to tempt us so that we may learn to recognize the lies and reject them, and fight against the darkness and choose to walk in the light. Parents are reflections of God the perfect Parent as they love their children and let them go out to play and to school and face the dangers in the world, because life is worth living, and they form and guide their children to recognize and choose the good and to discern and reject the bad.

BEWARE OF "DARK THOUGHTS" WHICH ARE LIES COMING FROM THE ENEMY

So, whenever you may be assailed by "dark thoughts": such as "I'm no good. I'm a failure. I'm terrified, I can't do this; so, why even bother trying." and so on, we need to recognize them for the lies that they are and to reject them. God offers us all the grace we need to do this, but it always remains up to us to use our brains, think things out, seek guidance and support, and in the end, choose the good and reject the bad.

WE HAVE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE

We have freedom to choose the attitude with which we will face any situation. When we become aware of anxiety, fear, and any trouble, challenge, or temptation, the trick is not to panic. Rather, we take notice of what is happening, admit that to ourselves: "O yes, I recognize that; or, yep, that's me all right; or hey, wait a minute, that's not true." Then, we turn our attention away from it and turn our attention instead to God who loves us. "Daddy God, look at what the sneak is trying to do to me. I reject it. Be with me. Lift me up. Show me the way." and so on....

It's like driving at night. We must never focus our attention on the headlights coming from the other direction, because we tend to go where we look, and we don't want a head-on collision. So we notice the opposing traffic lights with our peripheral vision but keep our central vision and attention focused on the road ahead. Well, it is like that as we live our interior world. We notice the bad things, the distractions, the temptations, the dangers, but we deliberately turn our central focus and attention to the Most Holy Trinity dwelling within us. We make little conversations with God and live in anticipation of the light, the guidance, the warmth, the peace, the love that they want to give us.

PRACTICE BRINGS FAMILIARITY AND GREATER EASE

The more we try to practice these things, the more familiar with God and his ways we become, and the more God reveals us to ourselves and we get to understand ourselves more and more. We become more and more grateful for the gift of our life, and we become more and more open and kind to others.... We will still have anxieties, but we bring them to God and He changes them into peaceful action. We still have fears, but God changes them into knowing that He loves us....

                                                   Pax + Caritas,       Fr. Gilles

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Queenship of Mary, Mother of God - August 22nd, 2024 - What do we do in the face of many personal trials and troubles and of all the evil in the world?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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This reflection is in response to heartfelt cries for help from the parents of young families - in addition to the normal challenges of their daily routine - who are faced with unexpected and frightening troubles which, when they accumulate, can take on an appearance of evil.

I understand that you and your family are anxious because of all that has happened and is happening to you. I believe that you and and your spouse have yet to discover the full dignity and capacity you have received from God our Father to live as his children in the world. Jesus has commissioned all of us, and this includes each of you, to go out and labour confidently as his missionary disciples in the world. As we try to live in God, the Holy Spirit makes us "light for the world" and "salt for the Earth". I know you are comforted and encouraged by the presence and visit of the priest. I think you don't fully realize that Jesus gave not only to bishops, priests, and deacons, but to us all  a share in his authority over the darkness, to dispel it, because He is victorious over sin, death, and the evil one. Jesus wants all of us to become, in the power of the Holy Spirit, his missionary disciples to carry the light of his love into all the dark places in the world.

There is no such thing as "evil eye", which is an idea, image, or feeling left over from pagan times when people had no understanding of the order that exists in the universe under God our Creator and Father. That is only one among many images, ideas, or phenomena which make up what we can call the "shadows" where evil lurks, waiting to pounce on unwary victims. You must know and understand that there is no true power in the universe apart from the power of God. To his creatures, like the angels (which includes the rebellious or disobedient angels which we call demons), He has given a share, but only a partial share, in his power. His human children, that's us, He has made free, and the demons have no power over us except through fear, if we give in to it. 

Italy is one place where, like in Haiti, there persists what is called syncretism, which is an attempt to mix Christianity with the old pagan beliefs and superstitions. This never works because by making room for pagan beliefs and superstitions, we never actually put all our trust in God. Pagan ways only have power over us through fear. When we surrender ourselves to fear, or give in to fear, or focus on fear, or allow ourselves to become obsessed with fear; then we open the door of our mind, heart, body, imagination, and soul to the darkness. When we accept to play the role of victim, then we can experience bad things that we don't need to experience. 

There are already enough bad things in life without opening the door to the darkness through fear or playing with any of the various occult practices: ouija board, tarot cards, fortune tellers, reading tea leaves, seances, spells, witchcraft black of white, etc. etc. One of the most dangerous and wide open traps rapidly spreading throughout the world right now is every form of pornography. This includes what maskerades as art but in fact denigrates the dignity and beauty of the human body and person. Every form of porn or false art denies the beauty, goodness, and truth embedded in our human nature by God our Creator, and tries to distract our attention away from our true identity and dignity as children of God and tries to seduce us to another way of living, which in the end can only lead to loneliness and death. The proof is everywhere around us in the wholesale slaughter of the innocents in the womb. 

More innocent lives have been ripped from the womb and deprived of their right to be born and live than all the victims of wars and violence throughout the world in the 20th century, which is hard to believe but true. We cannot assign blame to women who have abortions without asking: "Where are the men? Why are the men not taking responsibility for themselves, and why are they abandoning the women they pretended to love and care for? What happened to the mothering and fathering of children that has produced human beings so insecure in themselves that they need to have recourse to sex in a desperate attempt to feel some human warmth and intimacy; however shallow and fleeting?

God our Creator and Father made our human sexuality as only one part of our human life. It is beautiful and powerful and adds colour to life, in addition to generating new life. It is designed to "cement" husband and wife to each other, to strengthen them against all the trials and troubles of life.Whenever we use our sexuality outside of the bond of husband and wife, the power of sex binds us to other things: selfishness, situations and combinations that are not part of God's plan for human life and happiness, exploitation, violence, and the destruction of the innocence of children and youth. 

We must renounce ALL these things, all these forms of evil and the occult, and all degraded forms of sex and false and empty intimacy, and get them out of our houses, purge all our electronic devices, and put all of this trash out of our minds, imaginations, and memories, confess having used them, or even having entertained such thoughts and ideas. We renounce all these forms of darkness and evil when we renew our baptismal promises every Easter. We also do it at the beginning of every Holy Mass and also every time we pray the prayer that Jesus, Our Lord, taught us... the "Our Father". 

We need to go in the opposite direction of the fear, the dark images, the dark feelings, the temptations, the threats, the shadows where evil lurks trying to intimidate us, and instead go in the opposite direction and walk towards God our loving Father, and keep deciding to put our trust in Him and in his Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, the one and only Saviour of the world.

That is why I recommend to you some practices for you and your spouse and your children as a family. Don't try to do all those things by yourself, if you are the wife and mother, but tell your husband that you need his support and leadership as head of your home. If you who are reading this are the husband and father, please also don't try to do these things by yourself, but first chat with your wife, and let her know that you don't want to do anything without her consent and support. You each have a part to play. It is up to each of you to decide to practice faith and putting trust in God through prayer and practicing silence, meditation, and the peace given by the Holy Spirit deep within us, but only if we want it. 

God never imposes, but only offers. It is up to us to want it, to ask for it, to do it, to receive it, and to accept it; to live it. This is how, by dwelling in love and in God, it is God Himself who pushes away the darkness from inside of us. The darkness outside will remain until the end of time at the final victory of Jesus Christ; we need to understand that life will always be a battle between light and dark, and the battle line runs through the middle of our mind, heart, body, and soul. 

God wants us to do battle and have the satisfaction of participating in the victory Jesus won; remember that first He suffered and died, and only then did He win the victory. God our Father wanted to demonstrate to all of humanity that even when evil would do its worst against Jesus, even killing Him; still, evil could not have a definitive victory. It was through dying that Jesus overcame death itself. It was by taking all the bad effects of sin on Himself that Jesus overcame sin. In the end, all that remains is the powerful and victorious love of God. 

Here, then, are the practices I encourage you to do together.

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Priests are generally glad to visit your family and home, but please remember that God wants you to do your part; you cannot expect the priest to solve all your problems without doing your part to take responsibility for yourselves, your lives, your marriage, your family, your home, and every aspect of your lives.

In the meantime, don't wait, but, first of all, the best you can all do as a family is to go to confession regularly, all of you, in order to allow darkness not to get any foothold within you. No matter how often we must confess a similar sin, we refuse to give up or be discouraged, and by continuing to confess, we practice putting our trust not in our own power to be perfect but in God's mercy and love. 

Second, obtain some holy water in a jar from the church (for the purpose of going through your entire house sprinkling it generously and abundantly, and praying the Rosary at the same time - see "fourth").

Third, pray together as a family. You could pray the Rosary together every day for a month, and it could become a good daily habit. (If your girls are to learn to live with God, you need to show them by doing it yourselves and also doing it with them.)

Fourth, while praying the Rosary, go around the house sprinkling the holy water in each and every room, closet, and cupboard, sprinkling with clean hands into all the corners of each space.

Finish with joining hands and praying in thanksgiving to God: one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and one Glory Be.... Then, give each other the sign and kiss of peace. Our Father wants us to be filled with his peace and joy; even in the face of troubles, threats, dangers, and sufferings.

How to pray the Rosary by meditating on the Mysteries of the Rosary - events in the life of Jesus and Mary, which the Holy Spirit uses to make connections with our own daily lives....

After praying the prayers connected to the Crucifix, the first bead, the next 3 beads, and the last bead, before starting the first decade, read the text for the first mystery in the set of mysteries you have chosen. Then pray each prayer in the decade, contemplating the mystery as you say the prayers. Do this for each decade. At the end, pray the "Hail, Holy Queen", the "Prayer to St. Michael", and any other prayer(s) you may wish to add.

By praying together as a family, the Lord Jesus will definitely be with you and drive away any dark influences.

I and all the bishops, priests, and deacons - including and especially Pope Fancis - are with you all in spirit. The role of the priest is to lead and show the way, but each baptized person must then actually walk in the way... and Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life." To see the way He walks and walk in it, to perceive Him as the truth and take it into us to absorb it, and to receive Jesus with the Father and the Holy Spirit and have their life within us... for all of this, we need to look at Jesus, begin to notice that He looks at us with love, let Him touch our hearts, let Him bring his light into our mind, let the Holy Spirit fill us with the peace that comes from the love of the Father and the Son.... 

All other ideas, fears, troubles, trials, feelings... they are all distractions trying to make us forget to keep looking to Jesus, to keep welcoming Him into us.... Don't be fooled by the superficial trials of life... they are only opportunities for us to practice putting our trust in God while we do our best to do what is in our power to do. What isn't in our power, that's what we put into God's hands, trusting that He will take care of his part, when and how He decides to do that. Our part is to hope and wait with confidence; while continuing to do what is ours to do, especially to pray and visit with God often during the day as we go about our occupations.

God doesn't want us to suffer going through life as though we were alone, or as orphans... but instead to make room for God in our mind and heart as we go about our occupations; knowing He is looking on us with love all day long and all through the night.... 

Please show this to your spouse, chat together, ask God to guide you, and decide what steps you will take. Then, let your priest know what you are doing together about all of this. Good priests who are good shepherds are glad to know what the faithful are doing to walk in the ways of the Lord, and are glad to offer counsel and encouragement. As you prepare and take good steps, know that the whole Church, the Bride of Christ, the entire Body of Christ consisting of all the baptized, all the ordained, and all the religious, are constantly praying for you all and with you in the Holy Spirit, 24/7! 

In Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,

Fr. Gilles

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Let us choose life and every Sunday worship God with gratitude for all He does for us - and avoid scandalizing little ones which is what we do when we stay home.

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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YEAR OF THE COVID-19 WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC

As soon as churches open up again, I think it would be a matter of life or death for us all to make a point of making time to go to church together all of us, particularly families with children, little ones, teenagers, and young adults. Worshipping the Lord and taking the whole of the Lord's Day to rest is not a suggestion from God, but it is the 3rd commandment. These are serious truths, that if we go against them, we do ourselves mortal harm, to our spirits and to our whole lives, as well as to all those we influence by example through our decisions, words, actions, attitudes, choices and behaviours.

God doesn't need our worship, but if we don't give it to him, we are harming ourselves. We cannot take anything away from God, but we can choose to live and have more life or we can choose to die and waste away... the choice is ours every day of our lives. Thankfully, as Pope Francis keeps repeating, God never tires of forgiving us. To this we too can give witness by accepting what God offers.

One of the greatest obstacles the enemy of all mankind puts in our spirits is the impression that even thinking about going to church is a burden, a chore, stealing or wasting time to do more important things like rest. The danger of these thoughts and feelings is that the enemy is a liar, Jesus told us, and the father of lies. His favourite trick is to slip these dark thoughts into our minds in such a way that we have the impression that these are our own thoughts, feelings, opinions, and convictions.

The truth is that the more we turn to God and make a point of putting our trust in the Lord, and not in ourselves, then the more God can refill us again and again with his Holy Spirit and give us the vitality we otherwise lack. Our very breath comes to us from God, the Source of all life. 

Jesus wasn't kidding or speaking symbolically when He said that unless we eat his flesh and drink his blood we HAVE NO LIFE within us. In Reconciliation God restores our loving relationship with the Father and fills us anew with his life and vitality, and in Holy Communion, Jesus gives us a TRANSFUSION of the divine life He has with the Father in the Holy Spirit. These realities may be spiritual and often invisible to our senses, but they are more real than what we can see.

Take great care, dear Parents, not to scandalize your children by harming them with contradictions. On the one hand you are telling them how important it is to receive God's life and love in Confession and Holy Communion, but then, by not going on Sunday to church, your actions will tell them the opposite, that it's not important at all, and that anything and everything else is more important than God. Such actions on the part of too many parents cause their children to learn to distrust God and to no longer believe in Him and then to close their minds, hearts, and spirits to Him. The divine life bleeds out of their souls and they begin to die a long and lonely dying....

Jesus warned us not to scandalize the little innocent ones, because their angels are constantly standing in the Presence of God.... Let these words not frighten you, but rather strengthen your resolve to ask Almighty God to help you and your spouse make the resolution to go to Church to worship the Lord. Let it be a resolution to go together and manifest your gratitude for his countless blessings and the strength you need to get through the hard times. Thank Him as well for the ability to really enjoy the good times. Make Sunday worship part of your Sunday ritual and custom and remain faithful to it. 

You can expect the enemy to try to discourage you, because he seeks to destroy the children of God and keep they out of heaven for all eternity. However, the tougher the resistance within you and the countless obstacles the enemy throws onto your path, all the more go in the opposite direction of the temptation and go... go... go.... I am eternally grateful to my parents for going to Church with us all my growing up years into young adulthood until I left home and beyond. They never stopped....

Peace to you all, and Blessed Solemnity of Pentecost! 

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Why does God allow us to be tried, tested, and made to suffer?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Indeed, why does God allow us human beings to be constantly tried, to be tested all our lives, to be tempted at every turn, and in countless unrelenting ways made to suffer?

We believe - and are on solid ground in believing so - that God the Holy Trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, are almighty God, all knowing and all loving. It follows that God who is almighty knows of every instance in which we suffer because of evil, or because we are tempted, or because we are tempted and, no longer resisting, fall into and succumb to sin. Our Roman Catholic, Eastern Catholic, and Orthodox Christian traditions all agree in teaching that evil, temptations, and sin only occur to the degree that God allows them to occur; for without his permitting them, none of these could befall us or come to pass.

Saint Ignatius of Loyola in this "14 Rules for the Discernment of Spirits" taught that God indeed does allow us to suffer in these three ways - evil, temptations, sin - for his good and kind purposes. Jesuits continue today to offer the teaching and guidance of their founder Saint Ignatius, and one way they do it is in terms of spiritual discernment and making good decisions.

Unless one is willing to have faith in God - to believe in the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit - to accept as true and totally reliable that nothing evil can come from God but only good; then there is no way out of the tortuous doubts that come to human beings in the throes of struggles with evil, disease, pain, death, violence, the sins of others, temptations, and our own sin. If God is evil or cannot be trusted to always be good or if there is no god; then we are on our own and we are lost.

In his Ninth (9th) Rule, Saint Ignatius teaches that the drama is not so much about the fact that there is evil (we can understand here in all of its forms including evil deeds, illness, human violence, and natural disasters, without exhausting the list), pain and suffering, temptations, and sin. Now, what is most dramatic and fraught with the gravest of consequences for us and for others, is not so much the evils or temptations or sins themselves, but rather our inner dispositions and reactions to all of these realities of life.

Saint Ignatius makes much of two opposite but related inner states within human beings: spiritual consolation and spiritual desolation, and he devotes several rules to explain how we are to understand what is truly happening within us in the face of these two states, how then we are to govern ourselves under these circumstances, and what that signifies for our life and the lives of others.

So it's not so much the fact of evil or violence but how we react to it, or the fact of being tempted, but how we conduct ourselves in the face of it, or the fact that God allows us to experience these things, but how we respond to the Lord and conduct ourselves in these situations.

To be more specific, when I suffer because of evil or am tempted or sin, if I trust in the Lord and welcome my trial, suffering, or humiliation; then I will certainly come to experience God's consoling love and mercy. However, if I am "tepid, slothful or negligent in (my) our spiritual exercises" (Rule 9) then it will be "through our faults (that) spiritual consolation withdraws from us." This is the first cause "for which we find ourselves desolate" (Rule 9) in the face of evil, suffering, temptation, or sin. God allows these experiences to "purify the intentions of our heart" so that we discover the degree of heat or cold in our faith and devotion to God.

The second cause "for which we find ourselves desolate" would be "to try us and see how much we are and how much we extend ourselves in His service and praise without so much payment of consolation and increased graces." (Rule 9) In other words, a second reason God allows us to experience trials, suffering, temptation, or sin and so find ourselves desolate, is so that we might discover the strength of our resolve to love God for his own sake without looking for "rewards", and, discovering how weak may be our resolve, decide to love God with purer intentions and with a more selfless heart. By this second scenario, God allows our trials to make us stronger in loving, praising, and serving Him and our fellow man and woman.

The third cause "for which we find ourselves desolate" would be "to give us true recognition and understanding so that we may interiorly feel that it is not ours to attain or maintain increased devotion, intense love, tears or any spiritual consolation, but that all is the gift and grace of God our Lord, and so that we may not build a nest in something belonging to another, raising our mind in some pride or vainglory, attributing to ourselves the devotion or the other parts of the spiritual consolation." (Rule 9)

So, first God allows us to be tested and suffer, to be tempted and even to sin; so that we may better know the true intentions of our heart, discover our lack of resolve to love, praise, and serve God and do something about it. Secondly, God allows us to endure these things in order to struggle, resist, and grow stronger. Thirdly, God allows us to endure these things in order to discover the great joy that all good things - including our own life, love, and growth - are God's gift and the result of his gifts. The antidote to pride is wholeheartedly giving all the glory and praise and thanks to God.

The Lord needs us to trust in Him above all things, rather than in ourselves or our own efforts, in the power of others, or in the riches of potential donors... because it is only when we are weak or weakest that God can manifest his power, because it is only then, in our weakness, that it can become evident to the world that the only explanation for the wonders that come about within us and through our poor human efforts is that God must have done it, there being no other possible explanation.

The reason why all the glory must be given to God is that He needs to draw all people to Himself, since He alone spontaneously gives life and salvation. God alone is totally disinterested - not seeking anything for himself - totally focused on the good of the other. God alone is a "self-bestowing being" who doesn't just give things of limited value but gives of his own substance, which is of infinite value. Our human drama is that it is such a challenge for human beings to trust in God rather than trust in ourselves first and foremost.

In fact, that was precisely the scenario of the "original sin", the rebellion of Adam and Eve, the first human beings. They were tempted and seduced by the "stranger" to stop putting their trust in God, to trust first of all in themselves, and rather than expect good things from God, to go ahead and grab whatever they wanted. Why be burdened with gratitude to God when they could rely on themselves?

Well, we all now suffer the consequences of that failed logic, that lie, that untruth, which turned the focus of the human spirit away from the most awesome Being in the universe, the very Source of life and love, in order to narrow and "dumb down" the focus of our human spirit into a navel-gazing exercise which isolates and reduces us to fearful, neurotic, lonely individuals separated from others, from life and love, and from our origin and destiny, which are both in God our Creator. 

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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How easily we misunderstand one another as well as life situations

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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It has come home to me even more forcefully recently how easily we misunderstand one another and give others cause to misunderstand us.

We believe in giving others the benefit of the doubt, wherever this civility is valued, primarily because we understand how easy it is for human beings - failing the opportunity to be fully informed of all the facts and factors involved in any situation - to jump to conclusions which are as deficient as the bases upon which they stand.

What is most troubling in our human condition - since the original sin at the dawn of human history - is our inclination to take offense and hurt before the possibility of giving the benefit of the doubt even arises in our awareness. One truth or reality that the Genesis account of the creation of man and woman and their subsequent "fall" from grace certainly makes clear, is that we are all suffering - in every generation since then - a profound insecurity in the very depths of our sense of identity and dignity. This insecurity in turn is a grave obstacle to open and trusting relations among us.

The Creator revealed to his creatures the nature and reason for this insecurity and how differently we women and men experience and suffer it.

The man is perennially insecure in his labors, in his relationship with the Earth and the world around him, and in his visceral passion to survive and to provide for his family. Because our progenitor broke faith with his Creator, believed a lie about his Creator insinuated into his mind by the persuasive "stranger", and acted in direct opposition to what he knew first hand to be the will of his Creator - ignoring the very precise warning he had received from his Creator - the man became estranged from his Creator, from himself and his own integrity which he had now undermined, and subsequently with innumerable practical consequences, he became estranged from his world and his place in that world.

In addition and perhaps more seriously, the man failed to watch over and protect the woman when she was assailed by the persuasive stranger. Where was the man and what was he doing when the stranger arrived and approached the woman? What was he thinking when she brought to him the stranger's insinuation and suggestion to ignore the Creator's warning? Why did he not explain to her the error in the stranger's suggestion and motivate her to join him in remaining faithful to the Creator?

We men, as his inheritors, now suffer the very same consequences of insecurity in our dignity and place in the world. We struggle and labor and all our efforts eventually terminate in frustration and the production of "thorns and thistles", spending our life force and energy apparently to no avail.

Why did the seductive stranger approach and attack the woman and not the man? The great respect and reverence Christians inherit from our Jewish sisters and brothers - our religious tradition from theirs - resides precisely in the importance and value given by the Creator to woman as the one who has been designed by God to be the bearer of new life - in the image and likeness of the Holy Spirit who is the "Lord and Giver of life" - even more so than the man, who has been disigned by God to "fertilize" this new life within her, to stand by her, and to cherish her for all that she gives as she pours herself out in selfless and devoted service.

That was the Creator's plan, but now, the woman, for her part, is perennially insecure in her relations, first and foremost her relationship with her husband, her man. Although the account relates that she only knew of the Creator's warning indirectly from the man, she nevertheless knew it to be true and reliable, as God her Creator is himself reliable. Still, she allowed herself to be persuaded by the stranger, accepting as true his insinuations that the Creator was not truthful, nor reliable, but in fact stingy with his blessings.

She was seduced with the desire to be like God, even though she already experienced the fullness of likeness to God in her own being and dignity as woman. She was tempted to no longer trust in God or wait for his blessings to unfold, but instead, to grasp at them and seize them herself, alone, independently of her Creator.

She could still have been saved from her error had her man resisted her proposal, but he didn't. As a result, she not only fell from grace herself but also drew her husband into falling from grace. How could she then continue to trust in him and in his love for her, now that she too began to suffer the consequences of their break from trust in God.

Gone was the intimacy with God that they had until then enjoyed with their Creator in the wonderful garden He had created for them. In their guilt and shame they no longer looked forward to their intimate walks and chats with their Creator in the afternoon warmth of the garden; instead they feared their Creator and hid from Him in their shame.

No longer certain of her man's strength or confident in his love and care, the woman began to suffer uncertainty of being loved. The more she seeks to be reassured that she is loved, the more her man resents being reminded of his failure, and the more he reacts badly in an effort to quell her grasping and, in effects, behaves in a rather domineering way.

Both men and women are not only estranged from each other, and from their Creator whom they now fear rather than seek out, but they are also estranged from the garden and all its wonderful creatures,

of whom they are also a part and fellow creatures before their Creator. Gone is the order and peace of the natural environment of Earth, because her caretakers - the man and the woman - have taken a mortal wound in their own sense of dignity and identity, and they have forgotten how to care for their fellow creatures. In their insecurity and fear, they end up pillaging and raping the Earth, never feeling satisfied with a sufficiency, but ever seeking more and more....

They continued to suffer in this tragic way until the advent of the Savior and the realization of the promise made to them by the Creator. In joining the human race through Mary, Jesus of Nazareth has opened up a path of return to the garden and to intimate life-giving relations with the Creator, whom we now know as our heavenly Father. Jesus has obtained for us the forgiveness of all our faults and, in the giving and our pouring of the Holy Spirit, has opened up for us a new way of living, a restoration of the original innocence and life of harmony ever intended by our Creator from the start for us to enjoy in his presence and with his company.

Those who accept his call and invitation and repent of their death dealing practices, committing now their faith and trust in the One and only Savior of humanity, Jesus Christ, are baptized in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit with water and the Holy Spirit and are born again, regenerated, and adopted by God as his very own children. Jesus leads them and sends them out into all the world to extend this good news and opportunity to be restored to grace to all of humanity, to all who will accept the priceless gift ever offered by God to humanity.

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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When friends feel they are losing their faith....

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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When friends feel they are losing their faith... and they call upon you, trust in God, listen with great interest until they have poured out their heart, only then share from your mind and heart, and put your confidence in God to save them from their trouble and bless them through it. 

Question: What do you do with a friend or anyone who comes to you with doubts about their faith or feelings they are losing or have lost their faith? When I try to reassure this person and tell them we all have doubts so it's not a big deal, to try to diminish their distress, it doesn't work, doesn't help. 

Response: First I must say it is commendable that you care about your friend, and he or she is blessed to have someone like you willing to be touched, moved, and concerned with their faith struggle. Now, there really is no ready made answer or strategy for such situations. However, I can tell you how I approach these things with people. So far, from what you have written, if you don't mind my saying so, you have been far too quick to try to supply answers to her questions. That is not what she needs from you, and you can get out from the burden of feeling responsible to make her feel better. That is not our calling in life as Christians, to make others feel better, although we are called to give comfort, but not by resolving other people's struggles for them. 

1. She must find her own answers, as we must all do. We are called by God to give meaning to our lives by the decisions we make, by the questions we ask, and by the answers we find, sometimes in what others have said but most often in reflecting on our own experience and questions. 

2. Make more effective efforts to take interest and show your interest in what she is experiencing. Gently and with interest ask her to tell you more about what she is experiencing, thinking, wondering, feeling, and so on. As she sees you are really interested and will no longer try to stuff your own answers into her, she will slowly open up and share with you what it is she is experiencing, feeling, thinking, asking, wondering..... 

3. Before you even approach her again, fast, do penance, and pray intensively to God with all the love you have for her. As you pick up the phone or go over to her place or anticipate seeing her at work or wherever, pray for her some more. While you are with her, keep prayer and love for her simmering on the back burner of your soul deep inside. In other words, let the Holy Spirit keep prayer going on inside you for her constantly... and you will find the Holy Spirit guiding you in your approach to her. 

4. Don't worry about making a fool of yourself, or not knowing what to do or say next.... We are called to make fools of ourselves for Christ, as Jesus made a fool of himself before others for our sake. This is how the love of God makes itself known in the world, through the faithful hearts of those who have been touched by the love of God and are not ashamed to let their faith, hope, and love show. 

5. Know that in the journey of love, faith, and hope, even our mistakes are used by God for his glory and the good of others.... Be at peace dear friend.... in Jesus....

Christ is Risen ! Alleluia ! Alleluia !

Christ est ressuscité ! Alléluia ! Alléluia !

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Why are apparently good men leaving their wives and children - when it's not women leaving their husbands and children?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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What follows has been prompted by yet one more wonderful lady and her children being dropped by her apparently good husband and father, but the truth wasn't fully known until he revealed himself to the light of day and what was hidden in him finally came out, but it is sadly also applicable to some wonderful men who have been abandoned with their children by their apparently good wife and their mother. So what gives? 

What a joy it is for me as a pastor to occasionally hear from someone I once served and who moved away as they just decide to contact me or as I send - which I don't like to and rarely do - one of those email warnings about something or other. What a shock it is for me to hear yet one more time that she has been abandoned by her man. Every time it happens everything in me wants to scream. "Do you realize what you're doing to them and to yourself? Don't you know that you are bailing out at the very moment and threshold of dramatic growth for you as a person, if only you face what it is that's going on and go through it, but no, you turn back and leave. What a waste. 

The loss is almost entirely yours, because the one who gets left behind will almost certainly grow, even if at first it's only for the sake of the children." I really don't get what's happening to men in our society and culture... It's like they're not growing up.... What I really find strange is that all too often, at least where I have been, the woman is very beautiful, talented, smart, skillful, and just plain good and kind and generous, and the list goes on. It seems that no family is spared and everyone knows someone who is going through this, someone close, and I am no exception. 

What's interesting is that some of them have been telling me that they've discovered - the Lord is giving them - a new freedom and realization of how much they had been carrying their man, who really in varying degrees hadn't been fully a husband nor a father in too many ways to tell; nor for that matter, fully a man either. It would be harder to the extent that he seemed in any way a good husband and/or father.... or if the shoe is on the other foot and the one who left seemed to be a good wife and mother. 

Then the trap is to begin wondering what you did wrong, what was the cause that forced your spouse to leave you, but it's only a trap. The cause is not in yourself but in him or her who left you and your children. Of course, you're not perfect, who is? The point is that life is like that, and we are here on Earth precisely to experience the "sandpaper effect" of rubbing up against each other in irritating ways, so that our rougher edges may be smoothed and we might actually become more beautiful, kind, understanding, loving, ready to defend the good and the truth, and be generous. The point of life is to become more deliberate and intentional in giving meaning and purpose to our lives by loving others.

Then there's the other trap at the other end, where the one who left was such a dead weight that you now may feel guilty about feeling so relieved of the burden of his dead weight that you actually feel glad, joyful, elated.... Don't feel guilty... that's just another trap. The fact is that a woman gladly carries the weight of her man during his struggles and uncertainties, and her constant love and support supplies him with time and an environment that actually incubates him and allows him to grow and put in his efforts and make of himself a better man. 

Our Father Creator designed woman with the capacity to do that and to do it gladly; that's how she nurtures life, and it is one of her greatest sources of satisfaction. The Creator designed man to awaken to her goodness and to gladly, freely, and generously cherish her. Then the circle is complete and her love and efforts come back to her. 

Conversely, the Creator made man to notice woman, to value her and take her under his wing. He leads her from her parents' home to a home of her own, even in cases where she is so talented and able that she actually leads in many of the decisions they make. We're not talking about who wears the pants here, but rather about the topography of the human soul. Woman has been designed by the Creator to desire and expect to have her own value noticed, wanted, appreciated, and affirmed in the eyes of another who looks upon her with love. She has been designed to be cherished. 

So when a man does that and after a shorter or longer time she leaves him and even her own children behind, he can fall into the same trap of wondering what he did wrong, but it's just a trap. It's not about him or the children, who also wonder what they did to cause Mommy not to love them anymore and leave, but it's mostly about her and the decisions she has made. This man needs to remember that he is good and lovely and precious in the eyes of his true Father in Heaven, and that he has not lost his ability to love and be loved. At first he must carry on for the sake of the children, but in time, he will discover that he did not squander his love on her who left him, but rather that he has grown through it all and has become a better man. 

You know, I've had lots of time to think about such hurts that really should never happen, wondering what is happening to the countless millions of people suffering such injustices and neglect and worse.... and where is our loving Father in all of that... I remember that He only ever has one answer to all our situations and questions: his own Beloved Son, the Word, whom He sent and who accepted to be sent to come among us, and whom we celebrate with such joy - and good reason - every Christmas... Jesus, the Beloved of our soul and the True Bridegroom of his Bride, the Church, us. 

He will ever remain faithful to us, having already poured out his life for us and for all of humanity who simply accept to receive the gift of his life by accepting to be called by it to move up a little higher and become a little better..... Woman, or man, you who have been abandoned by one not willing to rise to the dizzying heights of true and profound love, love that is faithful and true and learns to leave self behind, this is an opportunity for you to rediscover in a deeper way the simple goodness of you, of your life, which is a precious gift from God to you. 

You are ever so precious a daughter or son in the Father's eyes, and He has so much trust in you to know that and to breathe deep and drink deeply from the springs of Living Water He has given to erupt in you - the Holy Spirit - from the moment of your Baptism and strengthened at your Confirmation and fanned into flame with every incident on the road of life as you allow it to prompt you to open wider with ever deeper trust the windows and doors of your soul.... 

Please give my regards to your children... Tell them that they are very special... They have a very good Mom or Dad who has chosen freely to remain faithful and true to them and won't leave them ever - until their body gives out and their soul moves on to be with God - and what has happened is not their fault, nor is it the fault of their Mom or Dad who has remained behind. It's mostly about their Dad or Mom who left and the choices they are making. It's also because of our culture and times.... 

It isn't a good time for good, strong, just men to sprout up from the Earth... It's also becoming a very bad time for good, strong, nurturing women to sprout up from the Earth.... There was a time when many men tended to get caught up in macho activities to prove themselves and left the women to do the important and foundational work of rearing children and forging character in their children, and so women grew and became powerful and wise. Those times are quickly fading. 

Too successful is the great lie being propagated by interests that want to manipulate and control destinies and/or want to hinder or even abolish the great and wonderful design of the Creator for our happiness. So more and more girls and women are trying to define themselves by being better men than males, proving they can do anything men can do or even better, proving to themselves they can enjoy the same sexual irresponsibility that for so long has been the "reserve" of men who don't have to carry newly created human beings in pregnancy and don't see how they destroy themselves and others. 

The tragedy is that by the time woman discovers what God already knew and intended, that she can do what man does at least as well and often better, it may be too late for her to realize that wasn't the point. God designed men to compete against themselves, to become ever better verions of their own self, not to become better than others, but mostly, the Creator designed men to develop a life, a self, so that then they might freely and gladly lay that self aside in order to apply all their energy and devotion to cherish the woman who has accepted to share and enhance their existence. 

God designed women to be content to observe the man competing against himself and by her freely and gladly given companionship be as a catalyst that enhances his ability to more quickly develop a life which he can then gladly and freely devote to her and cherish first her and then also their children. He designed her to find her inner satisfaction rather in fully developing her own potentialities for giving and nurturing life all around her, like a fruitful vine, but if she allows the great lie to distract her gaze from her own inner goodness and accepts to look outside herself for a measure of her own worth; then she will reject her own fertility and fruitfulness and become an arid and sterile wasteland that in the end remains alone and empty. 

The tragedy of our times is that our culture has developed especially in the past fifty years around the momentum of reacting against elders and former ways of living in an insatiable search for novelty and the futile attempt to satisfy the appetites of the flesh. These appetites have been incorporated into our nature to help us survive and to add color to life, but they have no lasting substance. Our true human substance is something that grows root, stem, leaf, and fruit from within our spirit and has to do with our design to give and nurture life, one way or another, in our own children or in other ways of adding life to others by our presence and services. 

This new orientation is actually not new at all. It was introduced at the very dawn of humanity and we have an account of it in Genesis in the drama staged with a first primordial couple, Adam (man) and Eve (wo-man = from man). The great lie is to believe we can do better than follow the design inscribed within our very nature, but the proof is in the origin of the message we choose to believe. Our Creator loves us and designed us to be happy in a lasting and even eternal way, whereas the stranger who wants our attention and discredits our design wants nothing else than our total and utter destruction. 

The choice of orientation is ours. Will we have the wisdom to recognize the innate genius, beauty, and wonder of our own inner design, or will we prefer the attractive but artificial, sterile, and empty appearance? That is the test of our humanity. Too many of us are not passing the test... We are being sifted like wheat by the events of an ever more frantic culture, abundance, and prosperity.... to discover what is really inside of us. No one can escape being tested. 

It's only when we discover what is inside of us that we know the truth, and knowing the truth about ourselves, we can act accordingly. Jesus' response to our situations was: "Repent and believe the Good News!" What good news? That He has come no to leave us orphans but to restore us to our true Father. 

God bless you dear sister, dear brother, who have been abandoned but are not orphans, because you still have your true Father above, and the One who came among us to at last make Him known and loved. May this loving and Blessed Trinity of divine persons continue to pour out the Holy Spirit and have mercy on all the delinquent and lost spouses and parents who have left their treasures behind, blinded to their value and enamoured of the lie that they must cultivate their own life alone or with someone else; for sooner or later they will have to face the truth they are trying to escape. That day of awakening will be terrible if their back is still turned to God the Creator of us all. 

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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