What happens if we harbor anger too long? God helps us learn to understand and manage our emotions and their energy.

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Dear Reader, 

When you respond by email through the blog, your message comes anonymously; so I can't respond to you personally. Should you want to send me email directly, you can find "Contact Father Gilles" form on the right navigation bar. Just fill in your name and email address and click on the SEND button and your message will be instantaneously sent to me personally. I'll be glad to answer you as soon as I can. Having said that, allow me to briefly answer the question I recently received from someone after my previous post of July 2nd, which took a lot of time and energy to do, and in part explains the lapse of time since then. 

I developed quite extensively the background context in which Christians and for that matter any human being can best understand the mechanism of anger. The person quoted me where I wrote: "On a human level, if you harbor your anger too long without acting you may begin to have homicidal fantasies - even though you may have no intention of ever acting them out - so you need to find some way to channel your anger, which is raw power, into some constructive form of action." 

What I didn't explain fully is that such fantasies tend to occur in more extreme situations. For example, one woman explained to me years ago that after her husband abandoned her and their young children, she just knew from the fantasies coming into her imagination that during that extremely emotional initial period, had she come upon him in front of her on the street while she was behind the wheel of her car; she would have been severely tempted to step on the gas and not on the brake. 

I believe that this would be a fairly common fantasy for abandoned women to have during the initial period of emotional turbulence, and this condition could last longer depending on what help she seeks for herself. That is just one example, but the point here is than anyone - man or woman, youth or child, young adult or elderly person - will have trouble with anger when it is allowed to simmer on the back burner for too long without relief of the pressure; much like a pot left to simmer too long on the back of the stove with the cover on tightly. 

What came after what the person quoted from me was an explanation of what kinds of things we can and must do in order for the mechanism of anger to play itself out, deliver its message, see that we have received the message, and then go away and leave us alone and in peace once again. What the reader mentioned was a much more normal and not at all extreme case of anger. In the normal course of the day, someone offends or hurts you, and you feel angry. However, out of Christian charity, you decide to love your neighbor - even when the neighbor behaves like an enemy - and you hold your anger in rather than act it out and react. So you don't react and you instead treat the person with equanimity, also out of concern for the example you are giving to others. You certainly don't want to cause scandal. 

I couldn't agree more. This is what Jesus did himself, and He didn't suggest we do the same; no, Jesus actually commanded us to love our enemies and do good to those who persecute us, and so on. Most of what I wrote in the last posting was not at all about what we actually do in our relations with others when the circumstances cause us to experience anger. Rather, what I was concerning myself with was on the inside of us, while the anger is going on, what we can do to help ourselves manage that energy of anger and what it does to us. We need to channel the energy of anger into some useful outcome so that it doesn't sit on our back burner and burn a hole through our pot, or boil over and cause a fire on our stove top, and so on. 

I certainly don't suggest that the only way to channel the energy of anger is to throw it in the face of the person who triggered that anger, no, not at all. We need though to acknowledge the anger happening inside us and we need to develop a whole bag full of tricks or ways of using or diverting that angry energy to useful outcomes. Here are a few examples. On the heels of anger churning up inside of you, your swim, run, or walk may become rather more vigorous than usual, as you give the anger free rein in a safe way and allow it to play itself out until you feel calm, loose, and peaceful again. 

If you need to beat the dust out of some carpets, well those carpets would get a beating the likes of which they've probably never seen! In a completely different way, if the situation causing your anger requires that you sit down and have a talk with someone, then the anger can give you the boost of energy you need to make up your mind to do it and to actually approach the person and not settle for no until the person finally agrees to meet with you. 

It is certainly possible for us to allow ourselves to be governed at all times by Christian charity, and love others - even enemies - as God has loved and continues to love us, which is in mercy, in a love so great we can never deserve it. Nevertheless, we can still, on the inside, manage our energy budget in such a way that the anger we are experiencing won't burn us up. 

The alarming thing about anger is that it will keep stirring us up as long as the conditions generating it continue to exist. The more difficult and outrageous the situation, the more intense and persistent the anger, and the more our anger managing strategies need to be creative, diverse, and effective. God bless you, and may the rest of what you find in the July 2nd post help you do that well, for your sake, for the sake of the good example you will give others, for the good of souls, and for the glory of God!

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Anger can actually become a moment of intimacy with God

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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What do you do when something really terrible is done or allowed to happen to you or a loved one, and you find yourself consumed with

anger if not rage that just wants to pulverize those who have acted as your enemy or the enemy of your family? We are all too familiar with Jesus' teaching, even commandment, to love our enemies and do good to those who persecute us and desire their good. What's difficult is actually doing that. 

May I share with you, reader, that one of my deep joys as a pastor is how readily children of God such as yourself are willing to entrust to us priests the amazing adventures of spirit that you - as we all do - encounter in your daily life, either to share with us the wonder of what the Blessed Trinity are doing in your soul, your marriage, your family, your lives, or to seek a little guidance among the many choices that open up on the path ahead of you, or simply out of need for a little light to better understand what is happening to you as you get caught up in thickets of thoughts and feelings in the very heat of the action as event unfold all around you. 

How beautiful your soul is when, in the midst of the intense anguish you may be experiencing, you still manage to care for your family, for others with whom you are relating, and even for the Lord; as you struggle with the intensity of your feelings, especially if you have an impression that these are unworthy of Him or in some way impure.... For example, by simply observing a wrong being done we can feel somehow defiled by what we saw, even though we bear in no way any responsibility for it. 

Another example, perhaps more common and at the same time also difficult, is the myriad forms in which we can and do experience anger, which also leaves us in a feeling of defilement or impurity, if for no other reason than the sheer primitive intensity of this emotion and the aftermath of anger clinging to us as an impure residue. How wrong we are but also right. It is true that anger and indeed many of our feelings have a primitive quality about them, I mean that they are raw, located right in our gut as it were, and intense, and so totally what they are. 

Let's examine anger as an example, since it is so common an experience. We must say that anger is exactly what it is, and it is not the same as love at all, but that does not mean that they are exclusive, because there are different centers of feeling within us. I sense that just a little more understanding about how we work as human beings can help us a great deal to find a bit more perspective that can allow us to find the freedom inside ourself that we ache for so much to be able to make the decisions we long to be able to make. 

What is in a way most intense in us is the flesh, the body, because it is, well, so all pervasive, we just can't ever get away from our flesh. Hindu and Buddhist and other religious people give themselves all kinds of disciplines to deprive the flesh and as it were starve it into submission, to reduce the hold it has on the spirit and keeps it as it were earthbound, but that is not the way that Jesus revealed and came to the Earth to give us. We have been created as souls enfleshed in the body, which as it were clothes the soul and lets it touch and be touched and interact with the creation all around us. The flesh has been made good by our Father, and its greatest virtue or strength is its truthfulness. 

What I mean is that if you burn yourself it will hurt, and if you rest yourself your body wants to hug and thank you for caring for it, and so on. Our body allows us to make contact with others with affection or understanding or compassion, or romance, or discipline, or friendship, through a look, a touch, a tone of voice, and so many different and creative ways of giving expression in a visible or audible way to what is hidden deep inside of us. 

However, our body and its movements, sensations, emotions, and feelings, is also at times clouded by what are called passions and appetites. If unbridled, untamed, unbefriended, these passions and appetites can enslave the entire body and the person inhabiting it, confuse the whole person, and even tear it apart. That is why is simply is not wise to allow the flesh and its ways dominate our whole person, and why we must integrate our other levels, centers, or dimensions, or whichever way you would prefer to speak of our mind and its faculties and our spirit and its powers. 

It is in what we call the mind that come together very complex processes that make up what we call the human consciousness or awareness: apprehension - which processes all our sensory information sent to the brain; understanding - which makes sense of all that data; memory - which stores all that sensory data as well as all our conscious and even unconscious experiences; imagination - which takes all that we have stored and can play with it to create new patterns, images, ideas; reason - which can take the realm of ideas, experiences, and motives and put order in it and relate it to everything else that exists outside of ourselves and inside of us; and so on. 

Then, there is the realm of the spirit or soul. That, my Dear Reader, is far more subtle than the mind, though the mind itself can reach great heights and depths of subtle understanding and interpretation. That is because the spirit or soul, more than any other part of us human beings, is most like God, like each of the three divine Persons, because like them, our soul is immortal and can never be destroyed by anything that exists in the universe, except God - the three Divine Persons themselves - but they are committed never to do any soul any harm, let alone destroy one. 

Having said that, we don't know what exactly a soul is, because we don't know exactly what a divine person is either, not the way we know what an acorn is, or a stone, or a neuron that does what it does in our brain. We know primarily by intuition that we have a soul, some dimension beyond what science can measure, in the very heart of what makes us what and who we are, because we are much more than the sum of what can be seen, observed, or explained. 

We also know from the exceptionally determined and humble ones among us, the saints, that in the realm of the soul, a different set of rules or laws is at work. Whereas in the world, we must make efforts to achieve anything or get anywhere, in the soul, we must accept freely to be docile - willing to be led, like a child, by the hand; passive - willing to wait however long it takes for the moment to be right; receptive - willing to let the Divine Persons do what they do best and when they decide is the best time to do it and to receive whatever they decide to do within us. 

When we or someone we love has been or is being hurt, violated, or threatened in any way, and especially in a serious way, we have every right to be angry but often feel somehow defiled by our anger and are in anguish that this anger is coloring and dominating our life at all the other levels and preventing us from being truly present to our family, to God, to colleagues, to friends, and even to ourself. One primary reason is because anger is a God given attribute that has a very specific and time limited purpose. The longer we entertain it the more it tends to poison or turn against us and eat us up from within. If someone steps on your toe you automatically shout out "Hey, that's my foot!" That's a form of anger and the anger is a messenger bringing the pain in your foot to your attention so that the rational part of you has the sudden surge of power and strength to act: in this case to shout out and rush to the defense of your foot to undo the harm already done and prevent any further harm. 

The greater the harm, threat, danger, or loss, the more intense the anger, because the obstacles to overcome are probably proportionate to the harm, threat, danger or loss. However, just exploding into action may not and probably won't achieve effective deliverance, because we would just be acting blindly and only by random chance might we succeed in accomplishing what needs to be done. So, our body's rush of anger needs to go and consult with all the powers our mind can muster in order to get a full grasp of what's going on and what's at stake and what are the ramifications of every conceivable course of action we want to entertain in response. 

All that is well and good, but it still isn't enought to come up with a truly human response, because we need to go further and consult our soul or spirit, where we know by intuition and by faith if not by experience that the three Divine Persons always dwell with us unless we are in mortal sin. Even then they only stand outside the door until we decide we've had enough of the sin, repent, and ask them to return, and they come rushing like loving parents. As we consult our own soul and the Blessed Trinity abiding in our soul, we gain a much wider perspective and see a lot more possibilities of action and consequences and ramifications, and have the greatest freedom to consider carefully what we want to do in accord with the MEANING AND PURPOSE WE WANT TO GIVE TO OUR LIFE. (This is an expression which I first heard at this Institute and which they use in the course of their formation program designed to help people live their lives with greater autonomy.) 

That is why what Jesus did on the cross was so remarkable. Yes, He fully suffered cruel agony on the cross, and didn't appreciate it one bit, but He remained in touch with that part of himself, his soul, where He shared the Father's love for human beings - even the most wretched sinner - because by intuition as a human being He knew what He naturally understood as the Son of God: that each human soul has infinite value because it has been personally created by the Father. Just as each human child born of parents was specially made in love and conceived in a moment of great self giving by a husband and wife, and so is special and unique, and that uniqueness and value becomes visible in time as the child grows up and chooses or fails to choose to open up and develop much or all of its potential; so it is with each soul. 

On a human level, if you harbor your anger too long without acting you may begin to have homicidal fantasies - even though you may have no intention of ever acting them out - so you need to find some way to channel your anger, which is raw power, into some constructive form of action. Anger aroused by harm done, something lost, or persistent threat of harm can be resolved in one of three ways: 1. If the thing lost is returned or the threat ceases; 2. if something of greater value than the thing lost is given as compensation or an apology is offered for threats already made; 3. failing #1 or 2, all that remains is to let go of the thing lost, to release it and accept its loss, or to find some way to either live with the ongoing threats or move away from them to an effectively safe distance. 

Any of these three will allow anger's message to be received and resolved, and the anger will dissipate. The best motivator for #3 is love, not the cheap sentimental hollywood feel good kind, but simply a pure hearted desire for the good of the other and letting go of any desire or attempt to change the other. This is what Jesus commanded us his disciples to do because it is the true test and way for us to practice being like Him and children of our Father in heaven, because this is the way He loves each of us. None of us deserve the great immeasureable riches of his love and eternal life, not matter how good we think we are. Ultimately, our very life and breath are gifts being offered us from moment to moment and over which we have no power or control as to how much longer we will go on living. 

Even greater are the gifts of inner life and love by which we have begun to live with the same life and love the three divine Persons have inside and among themselves. This is a far greater and priceless gift, and we can only live it and go on enjoying it by trying to be open to the full extent of it, which is to exclude no one from the embrace of that love, especially not those who harm us, precisely because in harming us they betray themselves and reveal what a poverty they are themselves. If they were rich inside with the wealth of God, they would not behave in this way. For them to go on in their poverty will lead them to eternal misery unless they change, and that would be a far greater punishment than anything our devious little minds could cook up for their torture. 

As we manage to find within ourselves the will and openness to trust the Blessed Trinity to know what is happening to us, to allow it for their kind purposes and in view of what will be not just good but actually the best for us and those we love; then we are securely on the path that Jesus walked and opened for us to follow behind Him. Trust in the Blessed Trinity and hope in the future they are bringing about in us are perfect dispositions for walking with the Lord, and these attitudes of spirit bring us peace and joy, even in the very heat of difficulty and trial, as contradictory as this seems to eyes open to see only as the world sees. 

Of course, even with the best of dispositions we can expect a little more turbulence, human nature being as it is, as our memory resurfaces impressions, sensations, feelings, and thoughts.... Know Dear Reader that even though there may be moments when you feel yourself going backwards, that is, regressing, or succumbing again to intense feelings, it actually is not so. We are indeed very complex, intricately made, and functioning on many levels, and it takes time for the light shining from the face of Jesus to penetrate into the deepest parts of the most secluded rooms in the mansion or castle of our soul. 

Each situation, relationship, memory, event, experience, feeling, can have such substance that it actually constitutes a room in the castle of our soul, and as such, is in need of the light and love of God so that we may surrender it to the lordship of Jesus. This is such a profound and patient, painstaking process that it is not something we can plan, let alone achieve, ourselves, but it is the beautiful work of the Holy Spirit in us. Our part, as each moment of the day unfolds, is simply to venture forward with trust in the Father's love and like a trusting child with its hand buried in the bigger hand of its Mom or Dad, allow the Holy Spirit to "touch" that part of our soul and bring it to life, order, harmony, peace, and fruitfulness. 

To put it simply, as each moment of our day unfolds, pleasant or painful, it is that very moment that can become an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to continue his work in us, as we simply hand over that moment to his grace, and surrender it into the power of his touch in the love flowing from the Father to us through Jesus. It can happen through an inner dialogue as simple as, 

"Ouch! O Father, I thought this was settled, but I guess there's more in there that needs your love and the healing touch of your Holy Spirit. Take this memory, pain, anger, whatever; I give it to You. Glorify yourself in me and configure my heart, mind, and soul to Jesus, that I may walk on with Him and live like Him." 

 These are my words, but you see the gist... you too Reader can spontaneously enter into this kind of dialogue yourself with the Father, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit with words from your own heart, or at times even without words, as St. Paul mentions in Romans 8, where our soul prays simply through the groaning of labor pains within us... God be always with you and your family, and may the Blessed Trinity enjoy greater and greater freedom to glorify themselves - make themselves visible and attractive to others - in and through you.

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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What is the difference between denial and shock?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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This question arises from conversations I have recently had with folk both in the parish and at the hospital. I have had my own experience of both shock and denial, and you may be surprised by what you will read me write about them. Denial - especially the kind related to illness and death, but other kinds too - is often, if not usually, spoken of as something negative that just cannot be avoided and that we should get out of as quickly as possible so we can get on to the good part, the healing, and move on. 

The fact is that in nature many things are as they are for a good or several good reasons. Denial is somewhat related to shock, and it will be helpful to have a better appreciation of what denial is all about if we look at shock first. The shock I want to examine here is that physical state we go into that shuts down our feelings when there is trauma and the feelings are too overwhelming and could actually kill us. Shock allows us to go on for a while right after a trauma, and as we go along in the process of the aftermath following our traumatic experience, we try as well as we can to carry on with life. 

As we do so and begin to want to relate to others again, we slowly begin looking at our trauma, just fleeting glances at first. Then, as we are able, our organism senses this and thaws out the tangle of emotions connected to the shock but only a little bit at a time, and so this emotional flood comes over us in waves, just to give us a taste or glimpse at first; then shuts down again. Something triggers these waves of emotions, we taste them more intensely and deeply each time, and they shut down again so we don't get damaged by the sheer power of them. 

This process accelerates and intensifies as our organism senses we're up to it. Faith in God, hope in his grace, and love lubricate this process incredibly. Denial is like shock but different. Whereas shock shuts down our affectivity, denial shuts down our will, our willingness to look at, think about, admit, imagine, remember, visualize, feel or even acknowledge the source of our pain, the traumatic event itself. The purpose is similar - our own protection and self preservation - and it enables us to go on functioning until we have enough energy, stamina, and vitality to begin looking at the awful truth. 

When we consider then that both denial and shock, and other mechanisms like them, are really gifts from God, woven into the fabric of our being, to help us cope with the powerful events of life; then we can look at them and approach them with more reverence and appreciation for what they are designed to give us and allow us to do. Everything that is written or said about both of these by way of warnings applies to the danger of remaining in these states longer than we need to, as a kind of unhealthy appetite for the anesthetic effect, much in the same way one can develop a dependence or appetite for excessive alcohol or drugs. 

There is great wisdom in the Jewish Scriptures that is applicable here: 

"There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to tear down, and a time to build. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them; a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces. A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to be silent, and a time to speak. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace." Ecclesiastes (Qoheleth) 3:1-8.

“Were not our hearts burning within us as He talked to us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?” Luke 24:32

«Notre cœur n’était-il pas tout brûlant au-dedans de nous, quant Il nous parlait en chemin, quand Il nous ouvrait les Écritures?» Luc 24 :32

l’abbé / Fr. Gilles A. Surprenant

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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How to love enemies and deal with offensive people.

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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             It is a difficult thing to deal with people who are offensive, manipulative, or simply disagreeable.  Everything inside us wants to escape, run away from them, and just get on with our day.  The longer we have to endure them unwillingly, the more likely we are to explode at them in anger, or if we can't bear to be angry with them, we may very well dump all our anger on the next most likely recipient, who usually turns out to be a person we love or are very close to.  Then they are shocked and wonder why we are treating them like that.  Where is the Lord when we need Him most?  What does the Lord expect us to do?            
             Believe it or not, when we are harrassed by such life situations, and they happen far more frequently than we want to admit, the Lord is actually providing us with a wonderful opportunity to make progress in all the areas of our life touched by all of this.  A lot of people struggle with similar issues but find it more difficult to make progress because the troublesome person has died and is no longer around for them to respond to in a different way, as they would like to have done earlier but were unable because they were too young or didn't know how.  Now that they are older, they see how they could approach it differently.
             Here is my suggestion.  While it seems to be so annoying or troubling for us to deal with an offensive person, the main part of our burden is that we allow ourselves to be drawn into the other person's agenda.  What I mean is that we respond to whatever initiatives he makes or words she says.  We are responding on their terms.  Instead, we can try the following.
             We can choose how we want to respond to the other person.  This is a way of practicing what Jesus said about loving our enemies and doing good to those who persecute us.  Here is how the Lord has taught me to do it.  When such a person is coming "at me" I retreat inside myself to that place where the Lord is with me and I ask Him, "So, Lord, here he is again.  What would You suggest I do with him?  Here is how he makes me feel.....  I don't want to go there, Lord, but instead I want to remain peaceful in You.  Please show me how You see him and love him."  and so on.... 
             While you're doing this, you are removing your very sensitive self at least "one layer" away from the offensive person and choosing to walk around in that place where you can be with the Lord and notice your own thoughts and feelings. This is very important, because it is there that the best solutions will become apparent as the Holy Spirit sheds light on the situation and on your own thoughts and feelings and allows you to see the Father's will, just as He did it for Jesus when He walked this Earth.
             At some point, the offensive person will notice that you are not listening to him and will say something.  That will be the first time that he will actually be looking at you and listening to you.  That's when you can share with him something of what you have seen inside yourself of God's will and love for you.  What I usually choose to say to an offensive or disturbing person is something like "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but right now I happen to be late for an appointment (if this is the case.  Remember that it is important not to lie, not even little white lies, but always to remain in the truth.  Jesus said that only the truth will set us free.) and so cannot continue this conversation.  Don't call me, I'll call you.  If you don't hear from me a month from now, please do call and we'll talk about it then."  OR  (In the case of an offensive father.)
            "Dad, have I ever told you that I'm grateful for the gift of life God has given me through you and Mom?  Thank you.  I am content with what I'm doing to help myself right now.  I appreciate your concern, but it's all right.  I can handle this fine.  It's my life and I have to do this myself.  I have a husband now, and he is the one I look to for the help I need.  What I need from you, Dad, is.... (For example, "just pray for me", or just be supportive, and so on.)
             I would suggest other family members do the same thing.  It may sound stupid for me to say that we don't have to let people upset us, since we have no choice about the involuntary feelings that come over us just as an immediate response of our organism to what stimulates it.  It is true that our immediate gut reaction is involuntary and that we have no choice but to endure it.  This is something we all must endure and part of what Jesus means when He asks us to carry our cross.  Much of our cross is our own organism and all its inner workings which can be a burden for us each day. 
             What I'm suggesting above relates to another part or level in us deeper than the gut reactions of our organism.  It's the soul, which includes the faculties of intelligence to make sense out of what we observe with our senses and feel with our emotions.  It also includes our memory and imagination, our heart and soul, where the Blessed Trinity stay within us.  When we go into our soul consciously, then we go into a place where the possibilities are literally endless, because we are allowing the Blessed Trinity to partner with us, and we are being attentive to them.  We can begin to learn how to better notice the suggestions and inclinations they are giving us as guidance and as alternatives to the gut reactions we are making efforts to resist.  We want to resist our gut reactions so that they don't dominate our entire self.
             When we try to do this, this is what it looks or feels like.  You continue to be aware of your gut reactions to the other, but you begin to see that these are on the surface, like the storm on the surface of a lake.  You begin to feel less threatened or dominated by this storm of feelings and thoughts, as you discover the hidden depths within yourself, where there is a lot of room for refuge, and where you can find a few seconds to think other thoughts than the ones the offensive person wants you to have.  Then you begin to taste how good that freedom, however small, can be, and this strengthens you to stand more solidly on your own feet, and you can begin to think independent thoughts about even this offensive person, and feel pity for him, and gratitude for the fact that he cares, however inappropriate the means he takes to show it.
             The key is simply to do something to assert your independence and to practice relying on the Lord in each situation by pulling your attention away from the person trying to manipulate or control or persuade you and giving your precious atention to the One who will make better use of it, Jesus.  May you continue to walk in the Lord and make good use of this opportunity the Lord is giving you to allow that youthful part of us, what some call the "inner child" to pass through the threshold of the next generation, passing through the gate of youth into adulthood.  This is what adults do.  We stand on our own two feet, take responsibility for our own self, and face any and all comers, with the Lord's help, of course.
             Let us pray that we may all continue to find ways to enjoy the Lord's help and come to the satisfaction of finding our way through the thickets of obstacles in our life.  There is nothing sweeter than the satisfaction of doing something like this ourselves.  May we continue to have a meaningful Advent and peaceful, loving Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Were not our hearts burning within us as He talked to us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?”  Luke 24:32

«Notre cœur n’était-il pas tout brûlant au-dedans de nous, quant Il nous parlait en chemin, quand Il nous ouvrait les Écritures?»  Luc 24 :32

l’abbé / Fr. Gilles A. Surprenant

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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