Family Prayer - challenge and blessing

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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While it may be a steep challenge for married couples to pray together each day, as parents they can take joy that it is easier to pray together as a family. Parents can give thanks to the Lord that their children - especially young children - are by their very presence and by soaking up their parents' presence and love are in effect allowing God to create among them a loving atmosphere of family, within which parents as well can feel comfortable to pray openly to the Holy Trinity.

If you, reader, are married, you could take this as a friendly warning, that for a husband and wife to pray together it is more difficult and challenging than taking off one's clothing, because clothing covers only the body, especially its more vulnerable parts; whereas silence or reluctance or unwillingness to pray together covers much more... all of our inner thoughts, feelings, fears and insecurities about ourselves, faith but also doubts about the profound mystery of God the Holy Trinity, all the fears and uncertainties about life, our future, our security, the well-being of our loved ones, and the success or failure or delay in accomplishment of all our plans, desires, and work.... All that we carry and host deep within us appears to be infinite because it probably is, which elicits very deep and strong feelings....

There is so much concealed beneath the thin veil of our silence that to even think of lifting the veil to our own awareness, let alone to another - however beloved that other is - can be and is for most people frightening and overwhelming. This explains the strong reluctance to do it and the strong emotional reaction when we ask or propose it when the other would rather not go there.... Also, the extent and depth of our holiness before God has much to do with the quality of our love of and care for others as well as love and care of our self, our own life. For this reason we are incompetent to judge the relative holiness of others, however flawed or weak they may in some ways appear to us.

This is another reason to hold others in high esteem and respect and even to consider them better than ourselves. This was recommended by many of the saints and is even in Scripture in one of Paul's letters. This attitude allows us to live in humility, in truth about ourselves, others, and God in the abiding and uninterrupted divine presence of the Holy Trinity within us and around us. Whatever we see and hear in another that appears to us to be wrong, in error, or possibly sinful, all this can simply inform how we can pray for them and pour out our love for them in this way and also through understanding, sympathy, compassion, and support. You remember how St Francis composed a hymn enshrining the wisdom he discovered that it is far better rather than be understood, to seek to understand; rather than be consoled, to console; rather than be loved, to love, and to be the first to forgive whenever forgiveness is needed.

As you consider the rich interior life of your spouse and father / mother of your children and the deep mystery of all that the Holy Trinity know, see, and love in them and all that God is working in them through their own natural processes and moment to moment thoughts, feelings, discernment, decisions, efforts, and labors, you as a person of faith could allow yourself to stand in awe of your spouse's deep mystery and entertain much interior dialogue with the Lord about them and your love for them and your desires and hopes for them, providing you are in accord with the Father's will for your spouse.... As you pray in such ways for him or her, you will find the Lord deepening your respect and love for them and I am quite certain that they will sense something of this through the peace and loving look they will most definitely perceive from you....

If you and your spouse do not yet prayer daily or even regularly, you remain free on occasion to ask your spouse to pray with you, but when you prepare to do so, may I suggest you first pray for them and about this, submitting your desires and needs to the Holy Trinity, asking God to purify your desires, needs, heart, mind, body, and soul, and then live in peaceful anticipation until the moment when you sense it is right to mention to your spouse your desire. Then may I suggest you frame it in terms of your own need, something like:

"Beloved, do you have a moment? With all that has been happening lately... (give examples) I have been feeling lonely and uncertain in my praying (or whatever your actual experience and feelings are).... I have been thinking and praying about this and I realize that I need you. I feel so secure and at peace when you accept to pray with me. You are my strength. Would you please think about it and let me know soon when you would be willing for us to pray together for a little while?"

You will see how he or she responds. If they manifest great reluctance you can let them see that you understand how difficult it is for them, and maybe they could simply do it like they do with your children and not worry about anything but just keep it simple. You could say you seem to recall Jesus saying something about how we should be as simple as children before God.

Know that I keep couples and families in my mind, heart, and soul for my daily prayer before the Lord for his Family....

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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When friends feel they are losing their faith....

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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When friends feel they are losing their faith... and they call upon you, trust in God, listen with great interest until they have poured out their heart, only then share from your mind and heart, and put your confidence in God to save them from their trouble and bless them through it. 

Question: What do you do with a friend or anyone who comes to you with doubts about their faith or feelings they are losing or have lost their faith? When I try to reassure this person and tell them we all have doubts so it's not a big deal, to try to diminish their distress, it doesn't work, doesn't help. 

Response: First I must say it is commendable that you care about your friend, and he or she is blessed to have someone like you willing to be touched, moved, and concerned with their faith struggle. Now, there really is no ready made answer or strategy for such situations. However, I can tell you how I approach these things with people. So far, from what you have written, if you don't mind my saying so, you have been far too quick to try to supply answers to her questions. That is not what she needs from you, and you can get out from the burden of feeling responsible to make her feel better. That is not our calling in life as Christians, to make others feel better, although we are called to give comfort, but not by resolving other people's struggles for them. 

1. She must find her own answers, as we must all do. We are called by God to give meaning to our lives by the decisions we make, by the questions we ask, and by the answers we find, sometimes in what others have said but most often in reflecting on our own experience and questions. 

2. Make more effective efforts to take interest and show your interest in what she is experiencing. Gently and with interest ask her to tell you more about what she is experiencing, thinking, wondering, feeling, and so on. As she sees you are really interested and will no longer try to stuff your own answers into her, she will slowly open up and share with you what it is she is experiencing, feeling, thinking, asking, wondering..... 

3. Before you even approach her again, fast, do penance, and pray intensively to God with all the love you have for her. As you pick up the phone or go over to her place or anticipate seeing her at work or wherever, pray for her some more. While you are with her, keep prayer and love for her simmering on the back burner of your soul deep inside. In other words, let the Holy Spirit keep prayer going on inside you for her constantly... and you will find the Holy Spirit guiding you in your approach to her. 

4. Don't worry about making a fool of yourself, or not knowing what to do or say next.... We are called to make fools of ourselves for Christ, as Jesus made a fool of himself before others for our sake. This is how the love of God makes itself known in the world, through the faithful hearts of those who have been touched by the love of God and are not ashamed to let their faith, hope, and love show. 

5. Know that in the journey of love, faith, and hope, even our mistakes are used by God for his glory and the good of others.... Be at peace dear friend.... in Jesus....

Christ is Risen ! Alleluia ! Alleluia !

Christ est ressuscité ! Alléluia ! Alléluia !

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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"Don't be dismayed by opposition, criticism, or ridicule. Pray. Look to the Lord for your strength." A lesson from Ronald Reagan.

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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I couldn't help but remember today, as I watched funeral ceremonies for the late President Ronald Reagan, that during his terms of office he endured opposition, criticism, and even ridicule, and bore it with grace and humor. There was little reference made today to the opposition or ridicule, but at the time, the media certainly gave it ample room. He was the cowboy/actor who didn't really belong in the White House. 

It is only now, in retrospect, that people begin to glimpse the legacy left behind by an honest man and a good leader. This is the way they treated Jesus too, and He told us not to expect any better treatment, for the servant is not greater than his master, nor the messenger than the one who sends him. 

As I prepare to pray and go to bed at this late hour, I reflect on the grief I suffered at the hands of people over the years as a priest. At the time, I took it far too much to heart, and gave it too much importance. Very relevant is the wise saying: "Take God alone seriously; then you will find yourself able to take all things light-heartedly." Good counsel. 

"Lord, purify my heart of all that causes me to turn in on myself, and let your Holy Spirit draw my whole being to turn to You, and take only You seriously with all my being. Then, in the light of your love, goodness, truth, and beauty, allow me to take all other passing things with the light-heartedness of a child, your child, a child of God. Amen."

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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