Showing posts with label human development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label human development. Show all posts

Sunday, October 12, 2025

Humanity is a mess... What exactly has God our Creator been doing about it all these past 14 billion years?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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A thumbnail sketch of what God is doing in our universe, from the clues He has given us in the Jewish Scriptures and the Christian Scriptures, called the New Testament. 


From the beginning....

Before the universe existed, from all eternity (which we mortals cannot imagine or understand) God alone existed and lived - the Most Holy Trinity of FatherSon, and Holy Spirit - in perfect union and harmony of love; complete in themselves. 

At some point beyond our knowing, God created angelic beings, pure spirits, out of his love and generosity; granting them to participate in his work of creation which He was about to do. When He revealed to the angels his plan of Creation, that He would create mortal human beings capable of friendship with Him; some angels rebelled out of pride, not wanting these mortals to rise higher with God than them.

Between 13 and 14 billion years ago, God created the universe. Only this past century, astronomers have discovered that it all began in a powerful point of light called "the big bang" or explosion; from which developed stars, galaxies, planets, and all the other phenomena now obervable in the universe. In the Book of Genesis, the first book of the Torah, God testifies that God said: "Let there be light!" His all-powerful word brought the universe into being as his Creation.

In time, some 4.543 billion years ago, according to astronomers, our Planet Earth came into existence: with land, oceans, and living things on the earth, in the seas, and in the air. When the time was right, God created human beings with spirits and freedom capable of entering into God's friendship; which was his freely given gift. As we all come to know on approaching adulthood, our freedom needs to be put to the test; so that it may not remain automatic but become truly chosen and authentic.

What exactly happened to the first human beings?

God our Creator therefore allowed the human beings recently created to be put to the test, and He allowed the rebel angel leader to bring the test; which took the form of a temptation. This having happened before recorded history, we don't know exactly what form the test took. 

However, again in the Book of Genesis, God revealed to humanity through the inspired authors that our first ancestors were blessed by God with all things good. God told the man, whom He created first, that he could enjoy all the fruits of the garden except the fruit of a single tree: the tree of the "knowledge of good and evil". In biblical language, knowledge means the full and complete experience of a thing; such as a husband "knowing" his wife, as a result of which she becomes pregnant with a new life. Simply put, God told the man that if he insisted on having experience of anything evil, he would die. Fine; no problem. 

Then, Genesis relates, God created woman because the man felt lonely with no other creature like himself. He was dazzled when God presented the woman to him, and they were happy with each other's company and friendship, and in God's friendship; which was expressed by Genesis in them walking with God in the garden everyday. Then came the test. The rebel angel leader took a deceptive form as a serpent. As a clever generail on the field of battle, he approached this first human couple and brought to bear his attack on their weakest point.

The tempter did not consider the woman the weakest point because she was woman; we all know that women have strength that men don't have. No, she was the weakest point because the man had heard directly from God the warning not to experience anything evil; that is, not to eat the fruit of the tree of the "knowledge of good and evil"; or they would die. The man told the woman about this; so, she knew, but only indirectly from the man, not from God Himself. 

First round - the tempter: “Did God say, ‘You shall not eat from any tree in the garden’?”We don't know what "evil thing" the tempter proposed to the woman, but we do know she put up a valiant defense: "God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden, nor shall you touch it, or you shall die.’” Round one goes to the womanSecond round: “You will not die; 5 for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God,[a] knowing good and evil.” Thinking it a good thing to become wise, she went for it and experienced that evil thing; whatever it was. Round two went to the devil who overcame the woman.

Round three: Wanting to share her discovery with the man, the woman brought to him this "evil experience or knowledge"; whatever it was. This was the man's test. Did he act to protect and defend her and remind her of what God had said? No, he did not; he simply went along with that evil experience; whatever it was. Round three went to the devil who overcame the man. Round four: As a result of their first experience of something evil; the man and woman suddenly found themselves ashamed of their nakedness. This had never been a problem for them before. When it was time for their daily walk in the garden with God; they hid themselves. They could have gone running to God and confessed their error and asked his forgiveness, but they did not; they tried to hide it instead. Round four went to the devil as they both failed.

Round five: Of course, God noticed their concealment and questioned them, beginning with the man, then the woman, and finally, the devil in the form of the serpent. Sadly, the man didn't stand and take responsibility for his behaviour - for going along with the temptation and for failing to defend and protect the woman - instead, he merely passed the buck and blamed her. In her turn, being "thrown under the truck by the man", she too passed the buck and blamed the devil / serpent. We can imagine the devil being quite pleased with his performance and showing no regret or remorse; fallen angels seem to be incapable or unwilling to regret or repent, which puts them well beyond the possibility of being saved.

There are always consequences....

There stood the man and the woman, unrepentant, before God our Creator. There was norhing for it but for God to explain what consequences would result for them; which they would not be able to avoid. Since they had broken trust with God, in effect believing the lie of the tempter that God could not be trusted; the man and woman were out of sync not only with the Creator, but also with his Creation, and with each other. We all suffer these consequences throughout our lives, but in Genesis God told the consequences in a symbolic form for each.

The man, being particularly robust and equipped to cultivate the earth, with a propensity to make plans for the cultivation of the garden entrusted to him by God our Creator; now found himself out of sync with the creation, with nature. This natural world would resist his efforts to cultivate it. He would earn his bread by the sweat of his brow, and instead of producing lovely fruit, the earth would put forth thorns and thistles. The man would ever be frustrated in his work and be insecure with respect to the world, work, and his ambitious plans.

The woman, being more alert and designed to cultivate relationships, to give and nurture life; now found herself out of sync with her partner, with the other being like herself. As a result, she would have doubts about herself and about her relations, and in her insecurity, she would grasp or cling to the man; but being insecure himself, he would react badly and quell her outreach or even dominate her. The woman would be ever insecure within herself, with respect to her relationships, and her ability to give and nurture life.

God's problem and challenge....

As a result of the test put to human freedom, God our Creator had lost the humans' trust, and they / we had lost their / our willingness to trust in God. How could God our Creator possibly win back the humans' trust? All of human history, and God's sacred history with his People as shown in the Jewish Scriptures, makes it clear that the only strategy that actually works is: "one person at a time". No grand schemes to win back our trust have ever worked.

1st Covenant - the Garden: with a human couple - Adam and Eve - that didn't go well... their son Cain murdered his brother Abel out of jealousy because he seemed closer to God.

2nd Covenant - the Rainbow: with a family - Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives. It went well enough with this first generation, but the successive generations did not know God personally, or were not interested; so this didn't go very far either. Their descendants built the Tower of Babel in their proud ambition to reach heaven without God and instead rival God, compete with God, by their own efforts. This turned out badly.  

3rd Covenant - Circumcision: with a tribe - Abraham and Sarah, their son, grandsons, and great grandsons and all their wives and children. God always keeps his promises: from Ishmael came the Arabic peoples, and from Isaac came the Hebrew people of the Covenant. This Covenant went pretty well until after a few centuries in Egypt; when their prosperity turned into slavery at the hands of the Egyptians, who became afraid of the Hebrews. 

4th Covenant - the Decalogue, the Ten Commandments: with a nation: Israel. By now, Abraham's tribe through his son Isaac had become a nation, and it was time for God to make a new covenant with this nation, which had in prosperity lost its way, lost its relationship with God. They had even lost a sense of right and wrong in their struggle for survival under the bitter yoke of slavery. For more than a millennium after Moses, the people of Israel went on a roller coaster ride - from generation to generation - with one generation knowing God personally and loving Him and walking in his ways, but the next generation not knowing God personally and getting lost amid the other nations and cultures in the world around them. 

During this millennium - from sometime between the 15th and 13th century BCE until the coming of Jesus of Nazareth - the People of Israel experienced different stages: (1) Period of the Judges: The people followed the leader chosen by God: Moses and then Joshua, and a series of Judges; (2) Period of the monarchy - The First Temple: This was when the people demanded a king like the other nations around them; (3) A kingdom divided: God warned the people that demanding a king was a rejection of God, a refusal to trust and obey Him. As a result, bad kings caused the kingdom to divide in two: Judah in the south and Israel / Samaria in the north. (4) Period of the prophets: God sent his people prophets to guide them, but the people resisted, the kings refused to follow the prophets' advice. The two kingdoms were conquered by nations from what is now Syria, Iraq, and Turkey, and the upper class were taken into exile as slaves. (5) Period of the Exile and the return - The Second Temple: God raised up a pagan king / emperor who released the Hebrews, the People of Judah and Israel, from their slavery and allowed them to return to their land and rebuild their Temple. (6) The Greek and Roman Empires - a period producing more wisdom literature and the translation of the Hebrew Scriptures into Greek: The Jewish People now had two cultural centers: Hebrew in Palestine and Greek in Egypt. (7) Persecution and messianic hopes arising, beginning with the Macchabees: A nunber of devotional movements arose, all looking forward to the coming of the Messiah to be sent by God to save his people. 

God's long-term plan....

At this point, it's good to remember that from the beginning, all that God our Creator ever wanted, was to extend to human beings his friendship; having created us capable of friendship with Him and endowed with the authentic freedom which, alone, renders true friendship possible. As God went through the various Covenants: a couple, a family, a tribe, and a nation, God's aim was always to reach all of humanity. He wanted his Chosen People to be a Light to the Nations. Here is a passage from the Prophet Isaiah 42:5-9.
5 "Thus says God, the Lord, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people upon it and spirit to those who walk in it: 6 I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness, I have taken you by the hand and kept you; I have given you as a covenant to the people, a light to the nations, 7 to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness. 8 I am the Lord, that is my name; my glory I give to no other,
    nor my praise to idols. 9 See, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth, I tell you of them."
In some ways, they were and are a light to the nations - like the unique gift of the Ten Commandments, but in other ways, not so much. After all, we are only human and mortal. 

Then came Yeshua, Jesus of Nazareth....

5th Covenant - the Cross and Jesus the Risen Lordwith all of humanityMatthew in his Gospel records the following words of Jesus of Nazareth: Mt 5:17 
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill." At the age of 30, Jesus launched into preaching in public, and by the grace of God, accompanying his preaching with signs and wonders, miracles of healing and even raising the dead. In short, Jesus claimed to be God's own Son. At C.S. Lewis, the English author put it: Jesus was either crazy, or a liar, or he was exactly who he claimed to be." Those are the only logical possibilities of interpretation of his claims. So, God is still wanting those who know and love Him to bring his divine light to the nations, to all of humanity.

It is possible for all human beings to be attentive to the Spirit of the living God whispering within their own spirit and guiding them, and to obey this guidance and live as authentic human beings: caring for the Garden of Nature, our common home, being kind and generous to others, caring for the poor, the sick, the injured, and the exploited. Some people, who claim to be atheists or agnostics, do in fact rise to this level of philanthropy. 

The reason we baptized even infants is in obedience to Jesus' call to make disciples for Him who will come to know God personally, love and serve Him, and become beacons of God's divine Light to the nations. We join their parents, godparents, and their whole blended family in praying to God for the new disciples; that they may grow in the knowledge and love of God as they grow and develop in humanity and become a fully human person in all that they will say and do. 

Matthew 28:18-20    18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

In what ways may God our Creator shine his divine Light in us?

to be continued soon....

 

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2025 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2025 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Sunday, May 05, 2024

What is a woman to do when her man "treats her like dirt"? What does a man do when his woman "treats him like dirt"? When one "gets religion" and makes life hell for the other?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.


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Hello Dear Suffering Soul, 

I thank the suffering soul who trusted me with remarks along those lines, and for putting trust in me. I will be as candid as I can be also with you who read me here.

First of all, I have deep respect for women, because of the great dignity which God our Creator has given you, and because of your deep capacity - when this feminine human nature is embraced and accepted by each woman - to give life and nurture life in others.

I also have deep respect for men, because of the great dignity which God our Creator has given you, us because I myself am a man, and because of man's deep capacity to engage the world, struggle with it to cultivate it, and eke out an existence from it for himself and his family.

Of course, men are also capable of giving life and nurturing, but it seems evident that God has specifically designed woman with this capacity. Similarly, women are also capable of engaging the world, struggling with it and cultivating it - in fact, in many cultures women do most of the tilling of the soil - but again, it seems evident that God has specifically designed man with this capacity.

Unfortunately, that same capacity in woman to be inclusive of others and to care for them, can also become a weak point that can be exploited by people who are either unscrupulous or who simply have not sufficiently matured so as to be sensitive to the dignity of others and still too selfish to become aware of others as living persons and to respect them. It's normal for a baby at the breast to be selfish because that is the first stage of life and the other stages have not yet developed. However, it is sad, even tragic, and downright dangerous when a full grown human being is still selfish and entirely preoccupied only with their own self; oblivious to others as living persons.

Man's capacity can also become a weak point exploited by others, which we can readily observe in the "new slavery" evident all over the planet; whereby men are drawn into "voluntary slavery" by being seduced by the "carrot" promising them rewards and advancement, but with the "stick" close behind, threatening to punish them or fire them if they don't comply. The fear, even terror, engendered by this new slavery explains why men surrender to long hours away from their wife, children, and home.

From this point on, I will write only from the woman's point of view, the female soul who wrote to me. Men have only to reverse the values for the text to equally apply to them in their situations of abuse or neglect by their woman.

This seems to be what you reported to me as happening to you by what you sense is a lack of respect, of caring, of responsibility, of friendship, of cooperation, and of love - authentic caring - on the part of your male partner.

If I understand correctly, you and he lived in intimacy for most of the past several years, but then when he suddenly took more interest in religion, he laid down "the law" to you; stating that you could no longer have intimacy unless you got married in the Church.

There is a difference between religion and faith, between rituals and spirituality. People can see themselves as "religious" because they are trying to follow what they perceive as "the rules", but this can turn into rigid and uncaring behaviour. The entire focus is on the rules, following them, being seen as following them, and wanting to escape punishment for not following them.

That was precisely the attitude and behaviour of most of the religious leaders who turned on Jesus and had Him killed. Jesus was the son of Mary but also the Son of God, and He still is, now that in his human body He rose from the dead, left the tomb, walked about meeting his disciples for 40 days, and then ascended to the Father's right hand in Heaven. People who rigidly try to follow religious rules do that because they have not yet actually met the living God in Person. God isn't real to them yet, not in a personal way, but only as a "big threatening figure in the sky" whom they believe to be ready to punish them as soon as they step out of line, or else be ready to throw them down into hell for all eternity at their moment of death. In effect, they understand nothing of who God is nor of the ways of the Lord.

Jesus seriously said that whatever we do to others - all the other people we meet on Earth, and especially the people in our own lives - we do those very same things to Jesus Himself. In other words, Jesus - along with his Father and the Holy Spirit - because they are so united together, we call them the Most Holy Trinity - because they love us without any conditions, they care for us, for each and every one of us so much, that they take personally whatever we do to one another, even to strangers.

That is why Jesus kept repeating: "Repent, and believe the good news."

What I just said about God's unconditional love is the good news. The bad news is that we are badly out of sync with God and his design for us, and we need to stop, turn around, repent, change our attitude and behaviours, and accept to live a new life in communion with God and at peace with our neighbour, and even with enemies.

What you need to hear, my daughter, is that God loves you; you are his daughter, and the dignity that He built into you from the moment of your conception is God's gift to you, the value of who you are for yourself as well as for others, and no one can take your dignity away from you.

You may at times be badly treated by others, but they only betray themselves, making visible the evil within them, or the limits of their goodness, their lack of maturity and responsibility, their lack of sensitivity and caring. Jesus proclaimed us blessed when we suffer in these ways, because we are being treated in the same way that He was treated. Even though Jesus is Love in Person; He was rejected, falsely accused, unfairly condemned, tortured, and cruelly executed. He accepted to suffer in this way because the Father sent Him into the world to demonstrate to humanity for all time what God is really like, and what authentic love looks like in a human being.

You options are, among the following, to accept what you suffer out of love for God, and offer your suffering as a pleasing sacrifice to God; as Jesus did on the Cross. No one can coerce us to do this; it is something that can only happen when we find within us the love to do it willingly and even gladly. That is why every day we need to be filled with God's love for us; filled with the Holy Spirit, because only God living within us and loving us can enable us to love with this same divine love.

Second, you can decide to withdraw from your man and, with God's help, find a better man more qualified and willing to be a true husband. God has filled you with dignity and his gifts and He wants to give you more... his truth, his goodness, and his beauty... and you don't need to feel obliged to "waste" your gifts on someone who is unwilling or unable to appreciate them or you, or who is incapable or unwilling to truly love you. Jesus warned us not to put our pearls (our dignity) before pigs, because they will turn around and maul us.

Third, you can try to have a mature and peaceful conversation with your man, expecting him to behave and chat like a responsible and mature adult. In such a conversation, there are no accusations. No one points a finger and cries out: "You...." Rather, each one calmly relates what it is like being who they are, what it is like to suffer as a result of attitudes shown, words said, actions done, and actions failed to be done. For example: "Yesterday, I heard the following words... these words stabbed me like a knife, and I cried for hours." When I honestly open my mind and heart to someone, their only options are to be silent, to believe me, or not believe me, or they can go on the defensive and try to justify themselves, or they can turn on me with an offensive barrage of accusations.... It can get ugly when one or both are not willing to be honest and humble, willing to believe and trust the other, willing to take responsibility for themselves and to acknowledge the unique life and person of the other.

No one can "put some sense into" another person's head. Each human person must accept to face life's challenges, to take responsibility for their own attitudes, thoughts, words, actions, and failures to act. This is what it means for a boy to become a man and for a girl to become a woman, for a child to become an adult. Each person must decide to stop blaming everyone else for what they suffer and for their disappointments. Life often sucks, and we all have to just get over it. We are called by God our Creator to learn that life is a gift, that other people are persons just like me, that they have dignity given them by God, that they have the right to exist, to breathe, and to live their life fully, and we need to be willing to be grateful, to cultivate an attitude of gratitude for life, for other people and what they contribute to our life, and ultimately, we are for a while on Earth to learn to be grateful to God and offer Him the worship that is due to Him.

When people enter into marriage with a 50 / 50 attitude, it is doomed to failure. God has designed us men and women to become a couple, and most of us try to do it. A few are called to live a solitary life, like priests and religious, and some professionals who dedicate their lives in service to humanity. In this enterprise of becoming a couple and entering into marriage, the man and the woman need to be mature and responsible, and they understand that the other is so precious that the other deserves that I give nothing less than 100% of everything that I am and have all of the time. Naturally, because of the original sin when human beings broke their trust in God and in each other, because of our mortal condition; we never measure up to this ideal of 100% of me and all that I am and have all of the time. That is why we need to practice showing each other kindness and understanding, mercy and forgiveness. This is especially true because we grow and develop at a different pace, in different seasons of life, and go through different stages at different times from each other.

Feel free, my daughter, to reply with further thoughts or questions.

At some point, it would make sense for these exchanges to be between the priest and the couple. If a couple are not capable or willing to open up to a priest with complete and mutual trust; then it would appear that the man and woman are not really a couple. They may be living under the same roof, they may be sharing the same bed, they may even have sexual intimacy, but it is unlikely that it is anything like what God our Creator designed us to be capable of, nor what He intended for us in order to experience life and his blessing in abundance. God's design for the intimate union of a man and a woman is that He designed us for much more than simply copulating as animals do. God designed us to be capable of a union of minds, hearts, and souls, as well as of bodies.

It makes no sense for one to treat the other like dirt all week and then suddenly expect to get intimate. The true and authentic intimacy can only be honest, pure, and true when it has something to express and celebrate... the countless acts of selfless service and authentic caring and tenderness one for the other all through the week, day and night, attentive to each other, striving to fulfill the other's needs, appreciative of the other's caring service and attention to their children. Then it becomes much more than a brief physical climax, but a profound and lingering union of souls melting into one another. Then, after that intimacy, the husband and wife lie next to each other in silence, in rapt contemplation of the profound mystery into which they have been drawn, into a truly "Holy Communion" of persons, as holy as the Holy Communion with Jesus in his Body and Blood. That wife is touched by Jesus when her husband chastely embraces her without thought of grabbing pleasure for himself but entirely preoccupied with blessing her. That husband is touched by Jesus when his wife lovingly accepts his chaste embraces and he understands that Jesus is loving him through her warm presence and affectionate attachment to him....

                                                   Pax + Caritas,       Fr. Gilles

See below my previous post: How can we help our parents, especially when they grow old, as they suffer - and we suffer - because of their faults?

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Everywhere we turn, we see the human condition in all of its poverty, struggle, anguish, and dissatisfaction; with life and love just out of reach....

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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What the heck is going on, anyway?

Everywhere we look in our world, in our life - in the dynamics among nations, in the political arena, in the drama lived out in marriages and families, in churches and faith communities, in our own lives - everywhere human beings are to be found; we see situations and experiences that describe endless permutations of the human condition after the original sin. In Genesis chapter 3 is related the temptation and the fall of Eve and Adam. There we find related that moment when God described to the man and the woman the results, the consequences of their sin, their rebellion, their decision to stop trusting in God. When you hammer a nail, it goes into the wood. When you pour water on a thing, it becomes wet. When you drop a crystal glass on a marble floor, it shatters into pieces. The human condition is very much like what we all experience of trouble and dissatisfaction. Here is what Genesis 3 relates.

The man would lose the life of ease he had until then known in the garden provided by God his Creator. From now on, in order to live, he would have to obtain his food by the sweat of his brow. He would have to make constant efforts to cultivate the earth, but it would resist him and produce thorns and thistles instead of the good fruits of the earth. In contemporary terms, man tries to do his work, but the work constantly resists him and demands more of him, depleting him until there is nothing left of him; no energy, no time, no life, no spouse, no family, nothing... but only death. It is a slavery that, unlike the chains of the past, is cleverly devised to get the man to voluntarily go into slavery by his own choice. This is the contemporary situation in most of the Earth, where there is no longer the slavery in chains, which still exists in other parts of the world.

The woman, perhaps because her entire design centres around her capacity to conceive and nurture life, she is closer to her body than is the man. Also, she is more acutely sensitive to all that pertains to relations with others; also a feature of her capacity to give and nurture life. She is more aware of and more sensitive to her own self as well as to others in what and how they are. Now, Eve also decided to stop trusting in God; so, for her the consequences were inevitably going to be that her natural desire for her husband would become exaggerated, causing her to "cling" to him. However, he would perceive this and react, in a kind of survival reflex, by dominating her, to protect himself from this clinging, or "nagging". In addition, her distrust in God would also alienate her from her own self, her own body; such that her labour pains would become intensified.

We human beings have a specific design with "room for God" inside

Our human condition now, due to the original sin which becomes actualized in us the moment we are conceived in our mother's womb, is basically alienation from God and insecurity. Human knowledge and efforts can never resolve completely or perfectly this human condition. The man is never satisfied with his work, with the world as he finds it, and the woman is never satisfied with her husband and her life as she finds it. It is a vicious circle out of which there is no escape, but only one solution. That solution is to restore the lost trust in God, our Creator. This is why Jesus Christ called people to follow Him and learn from Him certain disciplines enabling them to accept to live differently, to live the new life He offers those who accept Him and believe in Him. 

These Christian disciplines are merely the ways we need in order to take back into our own hands responsibility for our own life, for cultivating our own life, and for reconnecting ourselves with trust in God our Creator; who is ever present, ever offering to pour into us the "divine vitality" which is designed and intended to be the "breath" and "blood" of our life.

Yes, we need to be loved, but first and foremost, by God our Creator, and at every moment of the day and of the night; constantly. To turn aside and expect to be loved by anyone else can only end in failure, because all human beings are contingent, imperfect, and incapable of fulfilling our infinite capacity and need for life and love. Disconnected from God, we are like a beautiful chandelier without electricity. Only God, the Most Holy Trinity, is worthy of our trust, because God is our origin and our eternal destiny. We have been designed to receive into ourselves the indwelling Presence of the Most Holy Trinity, without whom we remain empty and cold.

Who or what is God?

God is already complete and has always been complete and sufficient from all eternity. There was never any need for growth or testing in God. Jesus of Nazareth, a Jew of Galilee in Palestine two millennia ago, revealed that God is a trinity, a community and communion of divine Persons. From all eternity the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit have been a completely fulfilled and vital community of love. They are love; they don't have or give love, they ARE LOVE. We, on the other hand, are contingent beings. We begin as nothing and slowly grow and develop. We need to be constantly tested in order for the tests to shake us from the impulse to relax our efforts and try to be "just carried" by someone else, like the baby we once were.

Living a human life is work, requires deliverate effort freely made

Only by our constant efforts to live, to strive, to create, to give, and to love are we able to take responsibility for our life and live it more fully. The only effective "fuel" for these constant efforts to live and love is the divine life and vitality of love which is God. God is our fuel, our food, our life, our love. No one else. To expect any other human being to love us, give us life, fulfill us, make us happy, is both unfair and impossible. No one can possibly ever meet our unlimited need and infinite capacity for life and love; no one except God. To expect this of any human being is to do them violence.

Eve is no more to blame than Adam

Why did the tempter approach Eve and not Adam? We think it was because Adam heard directly from God not to touch the "tree of the knowledge of good and evil" or he would die. Eve had not yet been created. Adam later told Eve about this, but she did not hear it from God himself. The tempter considered her position a little weaker because of this; so, he probed that weakness.

Why did the woman and the man both find it attractive to seek out the "knowledge of both good and evil"? It can only be because they thought they were missing something, that they thought they were not entirely lovable in God's eyes; that they needed to do something to become more lovable, more acceptable to God. It was and still is a lie. God already loves us perfectly because God can only love perfectly; the Holy Trinity, the 3 divine Persons ARE love. The ocean doesn't have wet, it is wet. (From the film "Nikki and the Perfect Stranger". I will send you links to these wonderful films which explore what it would be like to have a visit here and now with Jesus.) God doesn't have love, God is love.

To focus on myself or on others? That is the question. 

When I focus on myself, how I feel, what I have and don't have; I remain isolated within myself. When I turn my focus away from myself to the other, I can see who and what the other is, what he is trying to do, what are her fears, hopes, struggles, aspirations, weaknesses, and strengths. If I study the other, I can discover in what ways the other needs to be loved; then, I can apply myself to love him or her in this way, putting myself at the service of the other out of love, pouring my vitality out in a flow of love. 

Love cannot be kept; it can only be given

Love's satisfaction is in the very act of love, of giving itself, of pouring itself out. Trying to get love, to have love, to hold onto love is like trying to hold water with a sieve. It's impossible. The only way to be full of love and never run out of love is to love, to give love away. That is impossible unless I am constantly connected to the River of Love, which is God.

You already know that as a mother or father, knowing how obviously dependent and helpless your child is from the moment of conception and birth. That poverty pulls love and caring out of you, and you find great satisfaction and pleasure loving your child; even to the point of exhaustion. Slowly, the child is developing a capacity to emerge as an individual, independent, and enterprising. This process will take at least 18 years or more before their autonomy is sufficient for them to go out on their own. The challenge then is to trust them and let them go as the new way to love them.

The human person is constantly changing; relationships never quite "catch up"

Along the way your manner of relating them is constantly changing, because they are constantly changing, and you never seem to quite catch up to the "new them", because the one you think they are today is actually the one you thought they were yesterday or last week or last month or last year. Today, they are quite different yet again... fetus, baby, toddler, little child, child, older child, pre-teen, pubescent child, young teen, older teen, transitional adult, young adult, adult, midlife adult, etc....

If you are a parent with young children, it would not be surprising that at the end of a day of pouring yourself out to your little children, that you would feel a need for someone else to take care of you. As a priest, I get to feel like that too. That's why I can say this, which may be difficult for you to hear or read, dear reader, but this is a "child's reflex", not a position of adult autonomy; it is a "passive reflex", not an "active reflex".

It is always "up to me" to decide to "care for myself"

Look at it this way. My life - body, mind, heart / psyche, and spirit / soul - is like the baby I once was. Then, it was Maman who took me up and cared for me in all my needs, more or less perfectly. Providing the care was sufficient, I would smile back at her, and she was content. (This relationship of care provider to infant is also the "theoretical model" adopted by Psychotherapist Dr. Jeannine Guindon, Ph.D., foundress of the Institut de Formation Humaine Intégrale in Montreal QC Canada. She founded a new helping profession called "psycho-education" or "psycho-educator".)

But now, I am no longer that baby, but my organism, my life, is as it were like that baby, because someone needs to take care of it. That someone is me. Once I became independent of Maman and Papa, it fell to me to care for myself in at least as good a manner as the care I had received from them. My "life" will only look back at me and smile when my care for my life is sufficient for it to be content. No one else can provide that for me; it is up to me to provide that for myself, somehow.

Self care is most effective and satisfying when it does not deprive anyone else

I need to care for my life on my own time, and in a way that does not put a burden on anyone else. Mostly, I need to care for myself between my two ears, in the way I choose to think about all these things and about my life and caring for my life. Even in the very midst of caring for another, a child or children for instance, within myself I can maintain a "sanctuary" of space in which I am selecting my attitudes and interior dispositions in such a way as to be "kind to myself" without depriving others of any good thing.

I am not a victim of my attitudes, but rather a "surfer of life"

The biggest most dramatic difference I can make for myself is, for example, when I notice anxiety rising within me, to acknowledge it, recognize it, understand where it's coming from, know that I can handle it, and put it aside; replacing it with deliberately connecting with God... welcoming God's love and vitality like exposing myself to the warmth and light of the sun.... This is only one example, but there are countless ways in which I can manage my life better by noticing, acknowledging, resolving now or putting aside to resolve later, and turning to God to be replenished here and now.

To employ a different analogy, it is true to say that I am not a "victim" of my attitudes, but rather a "surfer of life". My surf board is the meaning and purpose I wish to "give to my life", and with both feet firmly planted on this surf board, I see waves coming, position myself, keep my balance, and "ride each wave" for all the vitality, pleasure, and satisfaction it can afford; as I make my way along the beach.


Turning to God, opening myself up to God who is ever here, welcoming and receiving from God are so many elements of a way of living which is a kind of skill or practice, which can be learned easily enough because God is ever here and eager to fill me, refresh me, renew me, and love me.

Needless to say, it has been a life long challenge to learn to care well for my life, because that life is constantly changing with the times, as I age, with each new challenge, in each new situation, and also with the grinding routine of the repetitious demands of each repeated day and each repeated night.


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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2022 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2022 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Saturday, January 02, 2021

Human sexuality - gift of God which, used otherwise skews our vision, but used in accord with His plan, calibrates our vision to blessedness

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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 The most casual observer notes that our human sexuality is at the center of life or even dominates our existence on this Earth of Men and Women. In the very midst of this worldwide Covid-19 Pandemic in transition from 2020 to 2021, we can also note developing around us a multiplicity of views, attitudes, "styles", policies, and even definitions of human sexuality.

Facing this veritable chaos, a question demands to be answered by this generation as it has always done to human beings in the past: "Is there or is there not a Creator God?" immediately followed by the further question: "Subsequently, if a Creator God exists; then what about us in regards to Him?"

NO, THERE IS NEITHER GOD NOR CREATOR

To start off, let's explore what in our day has perhaps become or is becoming the dominant opinion around the world. No, God doesn't exist and there is no Creator. OR There may be a god but he is insignificant. In this category of human perspective, we are all of us - we the human beings living on planet Earth in the Sol star system - alone in life. There is no God, nor any Creator; therefore there is no plan or "design" for our being or for our life.

All opinions are of equal value and we must at all costs not impose anything on anybody. This position seems inspired by a "utopian" perspective by which one perceives or at least hopes to head towards a society, a world, a humanity in which there would be mutual and universal respect for one another. It is the beautiful dream of a perfect world. 

Hold on a minute! Let's wake up from this beautiful dream long enough to observe the reality around us but also the reality animating us within. Unless one is in total denial, one must admit that we are very far from this beautiful utopian dream for humanity and human life. What do we make of human dramas marked by suffering? How do we understand the crimes or faults, the departures from the objectives of this utopian destiny? What do we do with the delinquents who, disturbed, disturb others?

There is no avoiding the evidence that in a world without God, without a Creator, there remains only brute force that tries to manage to impose a certain order on this chaos. If the working definition of a god is "an all powerful being"; then in a world without god, the one in charge is the person who manages to impose on others one way or another by imposing on everyone: either by the power of ideas or by power itself. This situation condemns us to live in a whirlwind of opinions, each opinion as valid as any other; but this whirlwind is terrifying and devastating precisely because it is without universal principles, without laws of nature, without fundamental or absolute truths.

If a single person can't be "right"; then no one can be "right". If there is no truth existing outside of us; then all "truths" can claim to be equally valid, and no single truth can impose itself by its own light. A perspective, a world, a society, a humanity, a universe without god or creator is doomed to perpetual chaos and limitless wars - whether at the level of ideas or that of action.

YES, GOD EXISTS AND HE IS OUR CREATOR

A little depressing this perspective without god, isn't it? It's all the more serious if this is really and without any recourse our only true reality. However, to be fair, let's explore for a moment another perspective - notably the one that affirms that there is God, only one true God, and that He is our one and only Creator.

By definition, if a god existes, it must be all powerful; therefore it must be the one and only God. Going forward logically, God must necessarily be our Creator and the Creator of the Universe as we know it. Further, it would be illogical to postulate regarding God that He might be "less" than we are ourselves, we human beings with all of our faults.

For example, God could not possibly be a worse parent than us, than the best parent among us. As a "parent", God must necessarily be more just, more understanding, more patient, more loving, more expert for our formation, and more respectful of our freedom than the best parents are towards their own children.

Another example: God could not be a worse architect than us, than the best architects of all human history. We admire the best, the most beautiful, the most durable structures ever built in human history such as the pyramids, the Pantheon, the Parthenon, and so on.

In our day, even agnostic and atheist scientists find themselves admitting to the evidence - as they push beyond the limits of human knowledge in the domains of astronomy, astrophysics, biology, and other domains as well - that there is everywhere in the universe such a logic, such structures, such beauty, such complexity, and such a quantity of digital information embedded in the very nature of everything; that the being at the origin of all that exists must necessarily manifest unlimited intelligence, goodness, and extravagant generosity....


GOD OUR CREATOR HAS INSCRIBED HIS DESIGN IN OUR NATURE

According to the best that psychology and biology and other related anthropological sciences have to offer; human beings are not "fully equipped" for life until early adulthood, which does vary from one culture to another. All cultures agree though that human beings before puberty are still children, and the changes initiated in them by the process of puberty are the necessary developments that enable children to transition into adults; which of course would be in accord with their culture and society. 

DEVELOPMENT OF THE BODY IDENTITY

During pregnancy, the new human being grows and develops through stages at an exponential rate until all the necessary elements and organs are sufficiently developed for independent biological existence. After birth, during the initial year of life, the baby is all about its skin all over its body and its mouth. Everything goes into the mouth and it just loves being in the water. During this first stage of human growth and development in the world, each person spontaneously acquires and manifests one of two preferred ways of being in the world: passive / receptive OR active / captative. The first waits and expects to receive; while the latter "goes and gets" what it needs and wants. The preference remains with us for life and is by far "easier" for us; while the other "mode" requires effort every time. 

DEVELOPMENT OF THE DOER IDENTITY

Transitioning into the next phase - roughly between 12 and 30 months - the infant becomes a toddler propelling itself along the floor and through spaces with increasing speed and delight. Simultaneously, the toddler "handles" things, beginning to learn to "do things". The toddler begins to speak with more effectiveness and satisfaction and learns to make use of the toilet and even to leave diapers behind. The toddler begins to learn about rules and ways of being and doing "in this family" and "in this house". 

During this second stage of human growth and development in the world, each person spontaneously acquires and manifests on a different level one of two preferred modes of living itself: retentive OR eliminative. Initially, this preference arises during the toilet training stage, but it is a mode of living which generalizes itself to most if not all aspects of living: with cleanliness, but also with money, with other material objects, with doors and windows, with speech, and so on. As in the previous stage of development, the preferred "mode" remains with us for life and is by far "easier" for us; while the other "mode" requires effort every time. 

DEVELOPMENT OF THE INDIVIDUAL IDENTITY

Then, almost as if by magic, somewhere around 30 months - two and a half years of age - the toddler suddenly become an individual: "Me do it." "I can do it." "Let me." Initially, this declaration is more bravado that fact; since the child is merely beginning to learn to do a plethora of actions and tasks. The key here is in the emerging sense of individuality, of personhood, of human identity. This key change is to be heartily welcomed and encouraged. Another extremely important and life-changing development at this stage of life is the child's emerging ability to understand other dimensions of time, namely, the past and the future. Until now, when the parent was not visible or audible, it seemed as though that parent no longer existed. Now the child begins to understand that the parent can be in another room or even out of the house but still exist. The child also begins to understand the delay until tomorrow. The child's life becomes far more complex and of course richer. 

DEVELOPMENT OF THE PSYCHOSEXUAL IDENTITY

Now that the child has become an individual boy or individual girl, they look upon their parents with new eyes. The boy recognizes that he is like his father but unlike his mother, and he spontaneously wants to "shine" in her eyes. The girl recognizes that she is like her mother but unlike her father, and she spontaneously wants to "shine" in his eyes. Each child senses the same gender parent as "in the way" of their desire as a kind of competitor for the opposite gender parent's affections; which is generally believed to be the irritant at the source of the nightmares that crop up between the ages of 3 and 6. It is believed important for the same gender parent to console the nightmaring child and bring it back to its own bed; in this way developing more intimacy with the same gender parent and dispelling that parent's "threatening" quality. 

It is important for the child's further development to have a clear sense of being "like" one parent and "unlike" the other parent in terms of human sexuality. There is a myriad of variation in the qualities and characteristics pertaining to either gender, and many of these qualities and characteristics can belong to both; being as they are primarily human as opposed to masculine or feminine. 

As it happened during the first and second stages of human growth and development, each person is equipped by virtue of their gender to acquire and manifest now at this stage on a third level one of two preferred modes of being in relation to others: masculine / intrusive OR feminine / inclusive. In principle, this preference emerges gradually from the moment of conception, but it is a mode of living in the dimension of relating to others; which necessarily is affected by myriad other factors, not least of which is the family of origin and its relational and emotional environment. 

As in the first and second stages of human development, the "inherent or preferred mode" remains with us for life and is by far "easier" for us; while the other "mode" requires effort every time. However, if the boy's father is not kind or loving or admirable in any way, he may turn towards his mother and begin to "prefer" her feminine or inclusive mode of relating. Conversely with the girl who may turn towards her father and begin to "prefer" his masculine or intrusive mode of relating. 

The possibilities are almost endless, but one thing seems certain: the most effortless path is that of the child who makes itself at home in its biological gender and embraces it as the preferred way of being and relating to others. Having a solid sense of identify based in its own natural reality brings a sense of peace and greater ease in relating to others and to the world. One can then choose the other mode as and when it is necessary or useful; without losing or clouding one's own sense of sexual identity. Men tend to be more spontaneously intrusive and require effort to be more inclusive; vice versa, women tend to be more spontaneously inclusive and require effort to be more intrusive.  

DEVELOPMENT OF THE PSYCHOSOCIAL IDENTITY

As we can see, with the passage of time, the human person develops and emerges from within the original "sprout" which was the newborn infant; at each stage becoming more and more complex and developing more and more characteristics, abilities, skills, dimensions of temperament, colors of personality, preferences, and ways of being in the world and relating to others. By the age of six or so, the child is ready to "launch out into the world" and society. In most societies it is the age to start going to school and often to also begin learning a variety of skills relating to survival, trades, and hobbies. 

It is also the age for participating more actively and energetically in society. Initially, boys tend to gravitate to other boys, and girls to other girls. There is almost always some mixing and matching, but primarily, the boys need one another in order to further develop who they are as boys, just as the girls need one another in order to further develop who they are as girls. 

In their intrusive mode, boys often find fun in "poking" at the girls, teasing them, and generally "getting a rise out of them". Conversely, in their inclusive mode, girls often will "strutt their stuff" in the presence of boys, also teasing them, and generally testing their ability to "attact the boys' attention".  


THE REVOLUTION OF PUBERTY

Not too many would disagree with the observation that puberty effects a veritable revolution in the previously gentle and gradual development of the human being until the age of twelve or thirteen. The age varies in accord with any number of biological and socio-demographic variables, but generally speaking, most boys and girls begin to experience their body producing hormones disrupting their life and further developing physical attributes that until then remained receded or undeveloped. 

Boys experience new fascination with girls, experience rushes of masculine hormones in the company of girls, and initially don't know what to make of their newly erecting male member. In the absence of good formation and male mentoring, boys generally have recourse to their peers and to shady sources of information, and in our day - which is not only sad but tragic - to pornography. 

It makes perfect sense in the "grand design" of our human development that puberty and the revolution it stirs up should not happen until now, precisely at that moment when the boy child and girl child are at the apex of their human development and human skills pre-puberty. They are ready for the challenge of this new stage in their development, which becomes clearer when we consider the underlying purpose embedded in these changes.

THE COMPLEMENTARY CHALLENGES OF MANHOOD AND WOMANHOOD

FOR THE BOY / MAN

For the boy becoming a man, he won't actually be a man yet for at least a few more years. As this time goes by, the greater challenges of life that yet await him will require him to become capable of mastery over his own life. He will need to be able and willing to control his own impulses; lest he become a criminal, an alcoholic, a libertine, or any other perversion of a male human being obsessed only with his own self and cavalier about everyone else. Such a perverted male human being is a drain on society at best and a dangerous threat at worst. 

Many of the current ills of society derive precisely from men who lacked the essential male mentoring that would have put them on the path to further maturation as men and as fathers. In the absence of such male mentoring; they become phantoms of men and a danger to any who approach them. Failing to give the male support needed by their women companions, the children they engender grow up without a proper father and are at risk to become the next wave of irresponsible men and insecure women. 

It's not hard to understand how the period between puberty and adulthood for the young man allows for the passage of sufficient time in order to become "master of his own house", that is, to not only master his own human impulses, but further to develop his ability and willingness to be a good companion and support for the women friendships he develops. All this is in view of eventually finding the right partner for marriage and parenting for family life. 

FOR THE GIRL / WOMAN

For the girl becoming a woman, she won't actually be a woman yet for at least a few more years as well. As this time goes by, the greater challenges of life that yet await her will require her to develop her innate capacity to give and to nurture life, which is the peculiar "genius of woman". It is easier for girls in large families to "test their abilities" by helping to nurture and take care of younger siblings. Some girls practice their skills by babysitting their neighbors' children or younger cousins. Unless girls have proper female mentors; they are at risk to enter into a kind of "perpetual adolescence" in which they become obsessed with their own appearance, the satisfaction of their own desires, and get caught up in never-ending competitiveness with their peers. 

A different dynamic which can be equally destructive is that by which woman let themselves be drawn into competitiveness with men on the merry-go-round of careerism in business and public service. As they are forced to enter into male dominated tracks, they can lose sight of their own nature and calling as women; which can be very disorienting and personally destructive. 


THE MALE / FEMALE COMPLEMENTARITY DESIGNED BY GOD

It is no coincidence that in its western origins marriage has been called "matrimony", which translates literally as "the burden of the mother". It is also why the woman is called the bride and the man is called the bridegroom. The Creator clearly put the focus on the woman who has within her an innate capacity to receive life, to cultivate life, to bring forth life, and to nurture that life to independence. It is a wonderful, beautiful, and extremely fulfilling task, but the Creator designed her to carry out her call and mission in the company of and with the support of her chosen man, her husband, and the father of their children. He is called bridegroom because his calling initially and for the long term is to "groom" or care for his wife, the mother of their children. 

Parenting deepens a man's sense of fatherhood by constantly pushing him beyond his limits today to discover wider expanses and depths of meaning and character within himself; that he is then called to manifest in the world in support of his wife and the mother of their children and also to assist her in raising their children and in working with her to mentor them. By supporting his wife, cherishing her and loving her, he demonstrates to all their children what it means to be a man and the inestimable value that the woman their mother has. 

Parenting deepens a woman's sense of motherhood by constantly pushing her beyond her limits today to discover wider expanses and depths of meaning and character within herself; which she is called to manifest in the world as she nurtures their children, works with her husband to mentor them, and supports her husband and the father of their children. By supporting her husband, respecting him and loving him as she nurtures and raises them; she demonstrates to all their children what it means to be a woman and the inestimable value that the man their father has. 

The more we study the nature and possibilities of womanhood and manhood, and of motherhood and fatherhood; the more clearly there emerges a distinctive design of complementarity between women and men. While single parent women or men actually do accomplish wonders in single-handedly raising children; nevertheless, even these rely on and benefit from the support and assistance of parents and extended family and even friends and neighbors. If it is true that it takes a village to raise a child; then the presence and active participation of a mother and a father are all the more indicated. In fact, until recently tons of studies had been done on the role of the mother; it is only in the past few decades that increasingly more studies have been done on the role and contribution of the father. The previous conviction that the father's presence and role were superfluous is increasingly being disproven. 

WHAT ABOUT CASUAL OR "RECREATIONAL" SEX?

The least that can be said about human sexuality is that it is a power. Like any power, it can be used in accord with its inherent nature and purpose or it can be used in uncharacteristic or unusual ways. Men and women can play at "seducing" others for the perverse pleasure of "conquest" and the associated "pleasure of the hunt". Others may simply opt to indulge in sexual activity for the inherent pleasure of arousal and the related "climax". However, it is not difficult to find consensus on the fact that trivial sex supplies no lasting satisfaction. More significantly, casual sex works against the natural process of human development and maturation; in effect imprisoning the casual sexual activitst in a perpetual state of adolescence, with its incapacity to find or give meaning to life, or to engage in deep relationships. 

Life for people on this path is a battlefield littered with casualties and corpses of the vanquished. There are no lasting or deep friendships here, but only the sad companionships of those who share the battle. How do people end up as casualties on such battlefields? It seems to generally begin with the absence of proper mentors and the initially innocent curiosity which, without mentoring, becomes fascination and then obsession. Engaging in sexual exploration "in the shadows" is fraught with danger, all the more so because our human sexuality is a genuine "power" which is by its very nature oriented to the good of giving life. In the original design by the Creator of the marriage between one woman and one man, this power is a mutual giving of life through love, which then extends the life-giving power to all those generated by their union and loving friendship.   

WHAT ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY AND SEXUAL ADDICITONS?

In the Creator's original design of human beings in a complementary "dual nature" as woman and men, what emerges as of foremost importance is their mutual ability to "see one another" as persons. This was eloquently and beautifully, artistically expressed by Director James Cameron in his blockbuster movie "Avatar" when he has the Navi people greet one another with the expression "I see you!" as they mutually gaze deeply into one another's eyes. See here for a reflection on the process of eroticization.

The trouble with casual sex, sexual play, pornography, and sexual addictions - in fact with any and all uses of our human power of sexuality outside of the loving relationship of husband and wife - is that we risk allowing our eyes and our spirits to wander away from contemplating in love one another's unique personhood and dignity; in order to divert our attention to one another's body parts for the "thrill" that the sight of them can generate within us. By then, the other is already no longer a person with all their dignity, but merely reduced to an object of my desire for my own pleasure. You no longer exist for your own sake or with your own value and dignity, but you are reduced to an object. Herein lies the tragedy.

As in any addiction, it is very difficult if not impossible for a person to get off that merry-go-round by oneself alone. As pornography has exponentially developed and "infected" tens and hundreds of thousands of people; simultaneously, God has raised up public service minded people to develop and offer help for all those who wish to be free of addiction and be restored to the original design and purpose of their human sexuality in the context of a well-balanced sense of identity and dignity. 

WHAT ABOUT GENDER DYSPHORIA OR À LA CARTE GENDER IDENTITY?

It is most reasonable to experience, but also to manifest and express, deep sympathy for each and every person living today who is going through what we might call "gender confusion". I say confusion in accord with what our Creator God has revealed about his "design" for Creation in general and for us human beings in particular. Check this out from the beginning of the Bible in the Book of Genesis.

 The Book of Genesis chapter 1 verses 26 to 31

26 Then God said, “Let us make humankind[c] in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth,[d] and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.”

27 So God created humankind [in Hebrew: 'adam'] in his image, in the image of God he created them;[in Hebrew: 'him'] male and female he created them.

28 God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.” 29 God said, “See, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit; you shall have them for food. 30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every bird of the air, and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. 31 God saw everything that he had made, and indeed, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

So it is quite clear from what our Creator God has revealed to humanity through the People of Israel that human beings are designed by God in two genders: male and female. As male and female we are designed to be complementary, and together, we are created, we exist, we live and move and have our being in the image and likeness of God. Not men separately, nor women separately, but together, we are who and what we are in the image and likeness of God. We have been designed to love as God loves by a total gift of our self to the other, with no thought of getting, taking, or grabbing anything. 

If humanity at this time is going through all this confusion it is simply because we are not born "fully programmed", but must "find our way" into the fullness of life by using all the faculties with which we have been endowed, but not on our own; as though we were personally the beginning and end of all things. No, we are merely another human being to come along, and we have been preceded by many, even countless others. All of these, all of us, have our origin in God, but we also have our destiny in God our Creator; for He has designed us capable of friendship love with Him who made us, as well as with all of our fellow human beings here on Earth. 

If you pay attention to the tons of ink that has been spilled and of saliva that has been expended in the defense of "different or alternative" views of human sexuality that would "discover" or "create" or "set free" or "design" any number of alternative "genders"; what these pretty much all have in common is that they are all "about ME". Now there's nothing wrong with me, in fact, God loves me as He loves you. However, it is unwise to go about living life as though the "ME" in me is the center of the universe and the key to all truth, goodness, and beauty. It is not me, but God who is the source and end of all truth, goodness and beauty. Listen to what Jesus said and still says about that.

The Gospel of John chapter 14 verses 1 to 11

14 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. 2 In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. 4 And you know the way to the place where I am going.” 5 Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” 6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” 

8 Philip said to him, “Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.” 9 Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. 11 Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe me because of the works themselves. 

Throughout human history, the highest ideals have almost always been about selflessness. The heroes have been those who put themselves at the service of others or of the common good, and who even risk or lay down their lives for others. The greatest of these by far is Jesus of Nazareth even for those who do not believe that He is, as He claimed to be, the Son of God. This is all the more a great thing when one considers that Jesus, fully human, is also the Son of God, a divine Person, who existed from all infinity with the Father and the Holy Spirit, and who in time - by the "overshadowing of the Holy Spirit and the humble acceptance of the Blessed Virgin Mary - took human flesh in her and became man. 

By contrast, the "lobbies" that champion alternative sex or genders are for the most part desperate actions taken by people who do not feel at ease in their obvious gender. There are undoubtedly many complex factors causing individuals to come to such a troubling awareness of their unease at being in the gender in which they were conceived and born into this world. While we can and must respect them in their search and show sympathy for their struggle, it makes no sense for us to support their lobbying governments to lay down laws to coerce the rest of society to conform to their "specific interests" and go so far as to forbid anyone with gender dysphoria from obtaining the benign therapy they need and seek in order to find interior peace and harmony. 

Not all those who experience gender confusion or "disagreement" want to remain this way, but many, perhaps even most, would prefer to reconcile themselves with their obvious gender. Science, medicine, and psychiatry have converged to show that people who suffer from gender dysphoria can be treated, and each of the factors leading to their condition can be identified and treated. What is wrong, even ignorant and criminal is for government to prostrate themselves before the "steamroller lobbies" that threaten to cause considerable trouble if they don't get their way. 

These lobbies not only want to stay as they are, but they want to multiply exponentially the "gender categories" and, further still, they demand that society acknowledge these ever multiplying categories as "set in stone" and to modify all social conventions in order to "bend over backwards" to "make comfortable" those building their nests in those categories. The sad truth is that all those who suffer from gender confusion or dysphoria will never find complete and lasting peace in any "à la carte" new definitions of human gender, because these attempt to deny the design inscribed in our humanity by the Creator of us all. Living in denial does not bring genuine freedom or meaning or purpose. 

For millennia people of all nations, tribes, peoples, and cultures carried and transmitted wisdom that they had received from their elders, who had learned this wisdom usually the hard way - through the trials and troubles of life - and they accepted to be "formed" and "educated" by this wisdom. It was always understood that the young need to find their way in life by allowing themselves to be guided by that wisdom of the elders, both women and men. In time, they would find their way. 

The alternative is the tyrannical rule of countless distinct and irreconcilable individuals, all clamouring to have their way, and all unwilling to make room for anyone else. It is the rule of chaos, not order, and it is the principal factor causing such upheaval in human society the world over now, in the past, and we can expect it to continue to do so in the future. That is, the confusion and even violence will go on until individuals accept with humility to admit that they are not the center of the universe, and that the golden rule of all civilizations is "not to do to others whatever we do not want others to do to us." 

That is version 1.0 of the golden rule. Jesus Christ updated this to a higher and more demanding but more rewarding version 7.0 that goes like this: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The golden rule of all human societies is mostly a negative perspective - don't do - while others, like the Greek stoics, preferred a more positive perspective - go ahead and do the good to others - while Jesus took it to its logical and extreme conclusion or end or objective : 

"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends...." (John 15:13, and) "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous." (Matthew 5:44) 

The writing is on the wall and is clearly discernible for anyone with eyes to see and ears to hear; as Jesus is quoted as having said some two millennia ago. A children's version can be found in the fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes". You can find any number of versions on the Internet. Everyone may go along with something that is simply not true, but fictitious, out of fear of what others may say if we disagree; until, that is, an innocent child yells out the truth that everyone knows but is too afraid to say out loud and admit. 

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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