Showing posts with label family & friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family & friends. Show all posts

Thursday, August 22, 2024

Queenship of Mary, Mother of God - August 22nd, 2024 - What do we do in the face of many personal trials and troubles and of all the evil in the world?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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This reflection is in response to heartfelt cries for help from the parents of young families - in addition to the normal challenges of their daily routine - who are faced with unexpected and frightening troubles which, when they accumulate, can take on an appearance of evil.


I understand that you and your family are anxious because of all that has happened and is happening to you. I believe that you and and your spouse have yet to discover the full dignity and capacity you have received from God our Father to live as his children in the world. Jesus has commissioned all of us, and this includes each of you, to go out and labour confidently as his missionary disciples in the world. As we try to live in God, the Holy Spirit makes us "light for the world" and "salt for the Earth". I know you are comforted and encouraged by the presence and visit of the priest. I think you don't fully realize that Jesus gave not only to bishops, priests, and deacons, but to us all  a share in his authority over the darkness, to dispel it, because He is victorious over sin, death, and the evil one. Jesus wants all of us to become, in the power of the Holy Spirit, his missionary disciples to carry the light of his love into all the dark places in the world.

There is no such thing as "evil eye", which is an idea, image, or feeling left over from pagan times when people had no understanding of the order that exists in the universe under God our Creator and Father. That is only one among many images, ideas, or phenomena which make up what we can call the "shadows" where evil lurks, waiting to pounce on unwary victims. You must know and understand that there is no true power in the universe apart from the power of God. To his creatures, like the angels (which includes the rebellious or disobedient angels which we call demons), He has given a share, but only a partial share, in his power. His human children, that's us, He has made free, and the demons have no power over us except through fear, if we give in to it. 

Italy is one place where, like in Haiti, there persists what is called syncretism, which is an attempt to mix Christianity with the old pagan beliefs and superstitions. This never works because by making room for pagan beliefs and superstitions, we never actually put all our trust in God. Pagan ways only have power over us through fear. When we surrender ourselves to fear, or give in to fear, or focus on fear, or allow ourselves to become obsessed with fear; then we open the door of our mind, heart, body, imagination, and soul to the darkness. When we accept to play the role of victim, then we can experience bad things that we don't need to experience. 

There are already enough bad things in life without opening the door to the darkness through fear or playing with any of the various occult practices: ouija board, tarot cards, fortune tellers, reading tea leaves, seances, spells, witchcraft black of white, etc. etc. One of the most dangerous and wide open traps rapidly spreading throughout the world right now is every form of pornography. This includes what maskerades as art but in fact denigrates the dignity and beauty of the human body and person. Every form of porn or false art denies the beauty, goodness, and truth embedded in our human nature by God our Creator, and tries to distract our attention away from our true identity and dignity as children of God and tries to seduce us to another way of living, which in the end can only lead to loneliness and death. The proof is everywhere around us in the wholesale slaughter of the innocents in the womb. 

More innocent lives have been ripped from the womb and deprived of their right to be born and live than all the victims of wars and violence throughout the world in the 20th century, which is hard to believe but true. We cannot assign blame to women who have abortions without asking: "Where are the men? Why are the men not taking responsibility for themselves, and why are they abandoning the women they pretended to love and care for? What happened to the mothering and fathering of children that has produced human beings so insecure in themselves that they need to have recourse to sex in a desperate attempt to feel some human warmth and intimacy; however shallow and fleeting?

God our Creator and Father made our human sexuality as only one part of our human life. It is beautiful and powerful and adds colour to life, in addition to generating new life. It is designed to "cement" husband and wife to each other, to strengthen them against all the trials and troubles of life.Whenever we use our sexuality outside of the bond of husband and wife, the power of sex binds us to other things: selfishness, situations and combinations that are not part of God's plan for human life and happiness, exploitation, violence, and the destruction of the innocence of children and youth. 

We must renounce ALL these things, all these forms of evil and the occult, and all degraded forms of sex and false and empty intimacy, and get them out of our houses, purge all our electronic devices, and put all of this trash out of our minds, imaginations, and memories, confess having used them, or even having entertained such thoughts and ideas. We renounce all these forms of darkness and evil when we renew our baptismal promises every Easter. We also do it at the beginning of every Holy Mass and also every time we pray the prayer that Jesus, Our Lord, taught us... the "Our Father". 

We need to go in the opposite direction of the fear, the dark images, the dark feelings, the temptations, the threats, the shadows where evil lurks trying to intimidate us, and instead go in the opposite direction and walk towards God our loving Father, and keep deciding to put our trust in Him and in his Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, the one and only Saviour of the world.

That is why I recommend to you some practices for you and your spouse and your children as a family. Don't try to do all those things by yourself, if you are the wife and mother, but tell your husband that you need his support and leadership as head of your home. If you who are reading this are the husband and father, please also don't try to do these things by yourself, but first chat with your wife, and let her know that you don't want to do anything without her consent and support. You each have a part to play. It is up to each of you to decide to practice faith and putting trust in God through prayer and practicing silence, meditation, and the peace given by the Holy Spirit deep within us, but only if we want it. 


God never imposes, but only offers. It is up to us to want it, to ask for it, to do it, to receive it, and to accept it; to live it. This is how, by dwelling in love and in God, it is God Himself who pushes away the darkness from inside of us. The darkness outside will remain until the end of time at the final victory of Jesus Christ; we need to understand that life will always be a battle between light and dark, and the battle line runs through the middle of our mind, heart, body, and soul. 

God wants us to do battle and have the satisfaction of participating in the victory Jesus won; remember that first He suffered and died, and only then did He win the victory. God our Father wanted to demonstrate to all of humanity that even when evil would do its worst against Jesus, even killing Him; still, evil could not have a definitive victory. It was through dying that Jesus overcame death itself. It was by taking all the bad effects of sin on Himself that Jesus overcame sin. In the end, all that remains is the powerful and victorious love of God. 

Here, then, are the practices I encourage you to do together.

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Priests are generally glad to visit your family and home, but please remember that God wants you to do your part; you cannot expect the priest to solve all your problems without doing your part to take responsibility for yourselves, your lives, your marriage, your family, your home, and every aspect of your lives.

In the meantime, don't wait, but, first of all, the best you can all do as a family is to go to confession regularly, all of you, in order to allow darkness not to get any foothold within you. No matter how often we must confess a similar sin, we refuse to give up or be discouraged, and by continuing to confess, we practice putting our trust not in our own power to be perfect but in God's mercy and love. 

Second, obtain some holy water in a jar from the church (for the purpose of going through your entire house sprinkling it generously and abundantly, and praying the Rosary at the same time - see "fourth").

Third, pray together as a family. You could pray the Rosary together every day for a month, and it could become a good daily habit. (If your girls are to learn to live with God, you need to show them by doing it yourselves and also doing it with them.)

Fourth, while praying the Rosary, go around the house sprinkling the holy water in each and every room, closet, and cupboard, sprinkling with clean hands into all the corners of each space.

Finish with joining hands and praying in thanksgiving to God: one Our Father, one Hail Mary, and one Glory Be.... Then, give each other the sign and kiss of peace. Our Father wants us to be filled with his peace and joy; even in the face of troubles, threats, dangers, and sufferings.

How to pray the Rosary by meditating on the Mysteries of the Rosary - events in the life of Jesus and Mary, which the Holy Spirit uses to make connections with our own daily lives....

After praying the prayers connected to the Crucifix, the first bead, the next 3 beads, and the last bead, before starting the first decade, read the text for the first mystery in the set of mysteries you have chosen. Then pray each prayer in the decade, contemplating the mystery as you say the prayers. Do this for each decade. At the end, pray the "Hail, Holy Queen", the "Prayer to St. Michael", and any other prayer(s) you may wish to add.

By praying together as a family, the Lord Jesus will definitely be with you and drive away any dark influences.

I and all the bishops, priests, and deacons - including and especially Pope Fancis - are with you all in spirit. The role of the priest is to lead and show the way, but each baptized person must then actually walk in the way... and Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life." To see the way He walks and walk in it, to perceive Him as the truth and take it into us to absorb it, and to receive Jesus with the Father and the Holy Spirit and have their life within us... for all of this, we need to look at Jesus, begin to notice that He looks at us with love, let Him touch our hearts, let Him bring his light into our mind, let the Holy Spirit fill us with the peace that comes from the love of the Father and the Son.... 

All other ideas, fears, troubles, trials, feelings... they are all distractions trying to make us forget to keep looking to Jesus, to keep welcoming Him into us.... Don't be fooled by the superficial trials of life... they are only opportunities for us to practice putting our trust in God while we do our best to do what is in our power to do. What isn't in our power, that's what we put into God's hands, trusting that He will take care of his part, when and how He decides to do that. Our part is to hope and wait with confidence; while continuing to do what is ours to do, especially to pray and visit with God often during the day as we go about our occupations.

God doesn't want us to suffer going through life as though we were alone, or as orphans... but instead to make room for God in our mind and heart as we go about our occupations; knowing He is looking on us with love all day long and all through the night.... 


Please show this to your spouse, chat together, ask God to guide you, and decide what steps you will take. Then, let your priest know what you are doing together about all of this. Good priests who are good shepherds are glad to know what the faithful are doing to walk in the ways of the Lord, and are glad to offer counsel and encouragement. As you prepare and take good steps, know that the whole Church, the Bride of Christ, the entire Body of Christ consisting of all the baptized, all the ordained, and all the religious, are constantly praying for you all and with you in the Holy Spirit, 24/7! 

In Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,

Fr. Gilles

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Tuesday, April 16, 2024

How can we help our parents, especially when they grow old, as they suffer - and we suffer - because of their faults?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.


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Dear caring daughter or son of an aging parent,


How do I know that you care about your aging parent? It is simply because you are taking the time to read this post.


Christ is risen, alleluia!



I'm so happy to know that you are reading this probably because you care about your aging parent(s). Your relationship with an aging parent or parents may in fact be difficult, unpleasant, or even painful. The good news is that you still care! Even whatever trouble may be happening between you and your aging parent(s) may in fact be good news; not because we should enjoy pain, but because of the ways of the Lord with us. After you read all this, I think you may agree that what is happening is good news. 


God is good... all the time... and all the time... God is good!


I hope and pray for you that otherwise all is well with you. All is well with me too despite the trials of life, and often, because of these trials... God has been giving me some amazing graces after two and a half years of doing the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola.... 


The Madonna House Apostolate


Recently, I really enjoyed spending three weeks at Madonna House Apostolate Training Center in Combermere ON, which included Holy Week and the Easter Octave. You would really love the faith community there. Are you single or married? If married, your spouse would probably enjoy the experience as well. Guests are called "working guests" because MHA accepts donations but charges no fee, whether people stay for a week, a month, or a year, and they do expect all lay men and women guests to participate fully in the life of the community - prayers, meals, manual labour, Holy Mass, and recreation.... Guests sleep in dormitories for women or for men. Priest guests, especially elders, are a bit more free to do manual labour or not because they know how much priests are exhausted when they come and are very much in need of a rest.


It is good to harbour feelings of gratitude and give thanks to God our Creator


I join you in giving thanks to God for the wonderful graces and progress with which the Lord has been blessing you in your life. How do I know this? It is unlikely that you would be reading this if it were otherwise. Even the most difficult and painful, lonely human existence has blessings, most of which we don't even realize or notice. It has taken me over forty years to realize such blessings as my heart beating and my lungs breathing, over which I have no control at all. 


How wonderful it is the way Almighty God is so patient with us, so careful not to do damage to our free will, which is why God is being so patient with your aging parent(s). It is wonderful that you are now trying to love your aging parent(s) in accord with their needs, and now the Lord will help you to love your aging parent(s) the way they need to be loved, which may not the way you have been trying to do it. Don't beat yourself up about this, though, because we all fall into this trap; trying to change our parents. It's called the "role reversal trap" when children try to behave as parents towards their own parents, especially when they become old or older. God has given us wisdom about this in the Old Testament book of Sirach chapter 3.


We are not on Earth to find happiness. Oh, really?!?


We are not on Earth to find happiness, because this is something that the Most Holy Trinity is preparing for us in eternity. We are on Earth to become saints, and the only way to become a saint is to walk in the steps of Jesus and accept the Holy Spirit's guidance to live as Jesus did. This of necessity includes accepting freely and gladly carrying the cross of suffering that life brings us, either in our own life, or because of our love for others. You may find this hard to believe, but Jesus really wants to help you become a saint, like all the saints now in Heaven! Jesus will do this through the ordinary events of your life.


The "ways of the Lord"


We are all learning "the ways of the Lord" and his patience is something we generally find difficult to accept, especially when it comes to other people in our lives. We have the impression we know what they need, and we try to tell them what to do, but this generally doesn't work. If anything, the more we persist in "nagging at them", the more likely it is that they will "harden" their views and "dig in their heels". It's human nature.


We mostly don't realize it, but God is "at work" within us, in our lives


This may be a new stage in your life now. Whenever we turn aside from any form of bad habit, evil behaviour, or sin, such as when we accept to live in the grace of chastity, the Holy Spirit cleanses the eyes of our mind, heart, and soul, and we begin to see more clearly and to see as God sees. We will need all eternity to approach the wisdom and love that is in the Most Holy Trinity, but rejoice and be glad that the Holy Spirit now seems to be leading you on this path. You can know this, because Jesus is sharing with you his Sacred Heart. His Sacred Heart suffers, even though his humanity is risen from the dead and now immortal in Heaven, because He FEELS our sufferings as though they are his own. This is what perfect love does.


So, Jesus is now inviting you to accept to endure the suffering you see in your aging parent(s), simply to accept to suffer what they are suffering, without trying to change them in any way.  This is how God behaves towards us, but Jesus also prays to the Father, interceding for us in eternity. Romans 8:34 Jesus ever lives to intercede for us with his Father. Hebrews 7:25


Honouring our parents may be the most difficult commandment to observe....


As your parents' child, you owe your aging parent(s) respect and love, according to the 4th commandment in Exodus 20:12: "Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." On this depends the possibility for you to live well and long in the land. These are the ways of the Lord which He wants us to respect so that we can then receive his abundant blessings. Even if your aging parent(s) were terrible criminals, you would still owe them respect and need to honour them for having participated with God our Creator in giving you life. The more your aging parent(s) have in addition to this done good things for you, then you need all the more to honour and respect them and love them. Jesus will help you to love your aging parent(s) as Jesus and the Father and the Holy Spirit love you.


The difficult temptation to treat our aging parents as though they were children


It is not your place in life to reform your aging parent(s). They must do that for themselves, just as you are now doing it for yourself, with the grace of God. You will have peace about your aging parent(s)'s troubles once you adopt Jesus' own attitude of trust in the Father on behalf of your earthly parents and join Jesus in interceding for them. You can do this by offering what you suffer on your aging parent(s)'s behalf at every Mass, putting your offering of yourself with your aging parent(s) on the altar with the bread and wine.


The liberating Christian practice of "becoming a living sacrifice"


Day by day, every time you suffer something with or because of your aging parent(s), every time immediately intercede for them, talk to our Heavenly Father about it, ask Jesus to have mercy on your aging parent(s), and join Jesus in praying for your aging parent(s). You can offer the Divine Mercy Chaplet for your aging parent(s); it only takes a few minutes. Every big or little thing willingly endured out of love... every prayer... every gesture of kindness... is an agreeable offering to God, and this regular practice makes us into a "living sacrifice pleasing to God" according to Saint Paul in his Letter to the Romans 12:1.


You can fast and offer penances to God on behalf of your aging parent(s), but offering your participation at Holy Mass is the most powerful thing you can do for them. Know that your personal prayers, fasts, and penances you offer for your aging parent(s) are the most powerful acts you can make on their behalf.


In time, when they are ready, your aging parent(s) will also experience the graces you now enjoy, and they too will learn to put their trust in God instead of in earthly things.


Peace to you and your family. Through the communion of saints, I am glad to join you in praying for your aging parent(s).


Remember to ask our Blessed Mother Mary, Queen of Peace, to also join you in praying for your aging parent(s). "Mother Mary, pray for us. Thank you, Mother Mary." "Saint Joseph, just man and foster father of Jesus our Saviour, pray for us."


Christ is risen, alleluia!

                                                   Pax + Caritas,       Fr. Gilles



    

                      Fr. Gilles A. Surprenant – Associate Priest of the Madonna House Apostolate

 

                         "Were not our hearts burning within us as He talked to us on the road

                                              and explained the Scriptures to us?"  Luke 24:32


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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Elderly parents - impatience or loving interest?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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One day as I was visiting my elderly parents, which I did each week, I noticed my impatience with them when either Maman or Papa would say something. It was usually because they seemed to me to be repeating familiar words, phrases or formulas they tended to say at such times or on such topics as the one we were talking about just at that moment. It was almost as if I could finish the sentence for them.

Perhaps I was frustrated because I somehow desired better dialogue or more interesting conversation and we seemed to be caught in a narrow little circle of familiar words. At such times I was probably rolling my eyes, but one thing is certain, I felt as though I wanted to quickly run out and away, to be far away as soon as possible; even though I had probably just arrived to visit with them. They were my parents and I loved them; so it was hurtful to feel as I did rather than feel love and show them my love.

That day, as I noticed my impatience with my elderly parents and in addition noticed how frustrated, hurt, and angry I felt with myself, there was a grace from God to wonder why it was that I felt this way with my parents when I knew full well how warm, kind, gracious, helpful, and loving I was with other people, even with strangers. Then there was an additional grace to realize that the big difference was that with others I was genuinely interested in them and was able to show them my interest, to actively take interest in them.

So why could I not do that with my own parents? Again, it was divine grace that showed me that the main obstacle was with me, because I thought I knew my parents and could know nothing more, learn nothing new from them. Of course right away I understood that this is not the truth. So why did I think that it was? Divine grace kept shining its light on the matter and I saw that it was because after so many years I had become too familiar with my parents; so familiar in fact that I had drawn the hasty conclusion that there was nothing left to know.

Knowledge is the key to understanding and discernment; so it didn't take long for me to take the next step and see that I was quite free to decide to take interest, a new or renewed interest, in my parents, in Maman and Papa, from that point on. It was a source of great joy for me, instead of rolling my eyes, to respond to them with something like this: "Oh, really? Would you please tell me more about that?" Human creativity - such a great gift that we all have and which is amplified by love - gave me any number of variations on this theme with different ways to interacting with these elderly folks, always with a clear focus to genuinely take interest in them and to clearly show them my real interest, as an act of love.

I think they changed a little, but mostly it was I who changed, and it was all the easier for them to go along with this new approach to them, and for most of their remaining years, our visits were more interesting, more lively, within the limits of our own human limitations and the limits of health and time.

I remain grateful to this day - now that Maman and Papa are both with God - for the better times we had, thanks to the extravagantly loving and generous grace of God.

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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