Showing posts with label protecting vulnerable persons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label protecting vulnerable persons. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

How can we understand how well or poorly our Church in Montreal is dealing with complaints?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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From the start, dear reader, please allow me to identify myself as a retired priest in Montreal who is still active in ministry. What you find here are my "musings" as a Roman Catholic man of retirement age who also happens to be a priest. I no longer have any "mandate", nor title, nor any authority within the Roman Catholic Diocese of Montreal, beyond my occasional ministry here and there. However, as a citizen, I am entitled to my opinions like any other citizen, many of whom are not shy to broadcast their views, whether well informed or not. These days, I am receiving notes from friends and people who know me, along with quotes from the media such as:

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Articles reporting on inaction by the Archdiocese of Montreal

https://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/montreal-archdiocese-slow-to-act-on-meddling-in-abuse-investigation-ombudsman

"MAUVAISE FOI" - par Isabelle Hachey - La Presse+     

« C’était devenu inacceptable », dit la juge Capriolo en claquant la porte

https://www.lapresse.ca/actualites/grand-montreal/2022-12-12/archidiocese-de-montreal/c-etait-devenu-inacceptable-dit-la-juge-capriolo-en-claquant-la-porte.php 

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What are we to make of all this noise?

I sympathize with all those who feel this way:

"It's frustrating to read this news. What is it going to take to light a fire under the comfortable pew? When will the penance be served ?   These were not only sins in the theological sense, but crimes in the legal sense."

Convicted pedophile stripped of priesthood by Montreal archdiocese | CTV News - 

"It's unacceptable for an institution that is at the cornerstone of the foundation of Montreal and of Quebec, with a worldwide reputation of trust, faith and love, to be so lazy in the reparation of its own legacy."

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Wait just a minute here... let's step back to see the "big picture", shall we?

Sadly, these are merely the cracks indicating the current condition of our beloved Church in the Diocese due to aging, multiple departures of staff for various reasons - better pay "in the world", retirement, disenchantment, Covid-19 complications, fear of being unfairly judged in the media, etc. etc. - such that those who remain "in the breach" are frankly overwhelmed. They are doing their best, but obviously, at times their best is "not good enough" for the critics and bystanders of this world. Anyone can tear down the reputation of another person or of any group or organization; that's easy to do... all you have to do is repeat a rumour or misinformation often enough and it acquires the appearance of truth. Much more laborious is the task of the truly effective investigative journalist, who appear to be a dying breed.

Then, these days we also find slowness to return to live participation in the Sunday Liturgy on the part of many of "the faithful" who, not least due to lingering fear of the SARS-Cov-2 virus, are reluctant or slow to return to their church or categorically staying home to watch on a screen. Again, as a dear friend would often say in such situations, and with great compassion and sincerity: "I feel your pain."

Sometimes the Church leads... other times, she has to "catch up"....

Add to the current challenges of our Diocese the advent of the ombudsman, which from an ecclesial point of view - even from a worldly point of view - has been a revolutionary move in the best possible way of looking at it. However, what needs to be understood at the outset, is that the presence and function of a good ombudsman is bringing to the Church the highest administrative standards of our modern society. Lest it be forgotten or neglected, let us remember that much of the social progress in western civilization was initiated and pushed forward by members of the Church. Even the scientific revolution was mostly "carried" by Catholic priests, religious, and laity. However, it is public knowledge, clearly seen from following the labours of Pope Francis, that in terms of administrative practices, the RC Church has only lately been able to "catch up" to developments in secular society. 

For centuries in Québec education and health care were provided entirely by religious organizations: Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, and others. Had it not been for these generations of generous and dedicated people who worked for little or nothing; the population would have had no schools, no hospitals, no social services of any kind. It is only in the past few generations that governments took these over. 

Here's a question. Where is the deep gratitude of a people, of a nation, for those on whose shoulders we now stand, live, and breathe, enjoying the rights, freedoms, and duties that are now ours? A people or nation incapable of gratitude towards those who have gone before is doomed to end badly. 

It was a very responsible and courageously selfless move for our Diocese to hire an ombudsman. It is a good thing, yes, but keep in mind that these administrative standards to which the ombudsman now holds the Diocese did not "fall from the sky" into our society, but were developed over decades and, for certain administrative principles, over centuries. As these administrative principles and practices developed - often driven by the profit principle in tandem with progressive social pressures - as well as in the course of the social and political revolution of the past six decades; all the institutions and people pushed, coerced, and carried by these changes and social evolution had TIME TO ADAPT.

A "new standard" of administrative principles and procedures....

The presence and ongoing role of the ombudsman in the Diocese of Montreal requires from this same Diocese an administrative response equal to these secular administrative standards of our modern society. Unfortunately, this new pressure is being put on the people, the workers of the Diocese, without allowing them the benefit of TIME TO ADAPT which have been enjoyed by administrative workers in business and public organizations for the past several decades. In addition, those who can be entrusted with the burden and responsibility of following up on the complaints received by the ombudsman are not many; they are few, and they already have full time posts requiring their attention, time, and energy. The Diocese has neither the personnel nor the resources of a multinational corporation, but is rather like a small family business struggling to make ends meet week by week, month by month. 

The great demographic expansion... and the Church shrinking....

A century ago the Diocesan Curia - the workers who are the immediate collaborators and workers of the archbishop - were only a handful at a time when parish churches saw thousands or tens of thousands of people every Sunday, each of them contributing their Sunday offering. Our population exploded with the post-WWII years, and so did our Church. Many new parishes were established in the 1950's, 1960's, and 1970's. Especially with the aftermath of Vatican Council II from 1962 to 1965 and the various renewal movements which followed, the size of the Diocesan Curia swelled as well in order to respond to new needs and demands. Current conditions require the Diocesan Curia to shrink rapidly, back towards the size it was a century ago before the demographic expansion took place. This in large part explains the delays about which the ombudsman is currently unhappy. Two or three people cannot "handle" many complex cases simultaneously with their already heavy duties. They do what they can over a period of time, as much time as it takes. "When will it be ready? It will be ready when it's ready."

Urgent and serious cases are being handled fairly quickly, but "historic cases"....

The general population is well acquainted with the trial, condemnation, and imprisonment of an English speaking priest who was later laicized, returned to the state of a layman, for having sexually abused two minors. The Diocese acted quickly, in fact, more quickly than the police initially. From where I stand, having heard of recent actions taken promptly following the reception of complaints, it seems that the Diocese continues to prioritize serious cases. I imagine, considering the complaint of the ombudsman as published in the news lately, that what will take more time is the handling of "historic cases", cases from the past that may or may not have been handled completely or to the satisfaction of the plaintiffs.

It is also public knowledge that the Archbishop commissioned an exhaustive research of all the files for all cases of abuse going back several decades. It is not rocket science to imagine that satisfaction will no doubt be given, but that it will take the time it has to take, given the Diocese's very limited human and financial resources. It's like the local populations who don't want their neighbourhood church to be sold or demolished, but who have contributed little or nothing to that building's maintenance or repair for the past several decades or in their lifetime. They want the building to continue, but they have no intention whatsoever of loosening their purse strings to make that happen, and prefer to pass the buck.

The "revolutions" of the 20th and 21st centuries....

Looking back again at our history, as populations shifted, new suburbs cropped up, new parishes were erected, the population base of older parishes gradually shrank, along with the Sunday attendance in those older churches. At the same time, the technological, economic, and social revolutions which affected us all, and the resulting upheaval in administrative practices which rapidly ensued, caused our society to "run far ahead" of where our Church was in terms of administrative practices, which put the Church on a somewhat parallel but separate track in terms of office work and the handling of files, calls, needs, and requests. It was doubtless to be expected, under the circumstances, that the Diocesan Curia would not be able to deal with all the internal Church challenges and simultaneously keep up with the upheaval in administrative changes and developments in business, government, and society.

Since Pope Leo XIII's "Rerum Novarum" in 1891, the Church has championed human development....

That is why our Diocese - for various human and understandable reasons - is not yet in sync with the world's administrative standards, even while the Church "runs ahead" with its high excellence in the domains of faith, hope, and charity, such as: the promotion of human dignity, human development, justice and peace, promotion of care for migrants and itinerant people, creative forms of economy putting the human person in the centre, caring for the poor and exploited, and care for the environment. Building on the work of his predecessors Saint Pope John Paul II and Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, Pope Francis set a new standard for the protection of minors and other vulnerable people for the whole Church as recently as 2019. Again, though, human nature being what it is, it takes time for new perspectives, new understandings, new principles, new standards, and new administrative measures to be not only adopted in practice, but deeply integrated into our psyches, minds and hearts.

There is no defence against those who insist on remaining ignorant of the truth, the facts....

There are still those who, simply not knowing much about the Church from up close, still accuse "the Church" of being "rich" and indifferent to the poor. Add up the value of all the homes on your street and the values will add up to such a huge number as to give the impression that all those who live on your street "are rich" as well. The Church consists of thousands of parishes where the people erect, use, and maintain buildings, which seems like a lot of "riches". In fact, though, most churches barely have enough resources to pay their priests a basic living, let alone a reasonable wage. If the Pope is required to use part of the annual Papal Charities fund to cover his operating deficit, it is only because reduced attendance and offerings in the prosperous countries and the poverty of churches in other countries reduce or inhibit the regular revenues of local parishes and of their subsequent contributions to the Papal See. Wherever the Church exists, people's salaries and church expenses must still be paid.

What emerges here, I think, is that all too often we can employ two disparate standards: we justify ourselves with one standard, but then we hold the Church to a different standard. For example, I don't mind leaving a $15 tip to the waitress after a $120.00 meal with a relative or friend, but I may consider $15 far too much to drop into the collection basket at Church for my Sunday offering. Two different places; two different standards. Unfortunately, when the local church pays salaries and expenses, it is by the same standard from which none of us can escape. The cost of living is the same for everyone.

Applying 2 different standards only breeds confusion and ignorance....

The media outlets covering the latest kerfuffle over the ombudsman's latest report suffer, I believe, from this error of two different standards. Case in point: "in the world" you apply for a job, are interviewed at least once, must provide full c.v. and disclosure, may have the opportunity to negotiate your salary, then you receive a job description, after which you have periodic reviews after 90 days, six months, 12 months, and then on an annual basis. In the Curia, as needs and tasks arose and developed since the time of the colony, clergy and religious did most of the "heavy lifting", and good lay people who were known or who were looking for work were taken on. Often, they "learned on the job".

To put it simply, until recently, we've not had in the Church the benefit of such stringent administrative practices, nor detailed job descriptions, as those current in the marketplace. However, our current Archbishop, like Pope Francis with his Vatican Curia, saw the need and began leading the Diocesan Curia into reform. Some 5 years ago, or so, the Archbishop hired a competent lay woman with experience in HR - human resources - to start up a department of HR from scratch. She would have needed an assistant and a secretary, but all she had was herself... no funds. Well, she's still plugging away, occasionally is able to get some help, and is slowly putting in place HR measures and practices. Needless to say, human nature being what it is, there's a lot of resistance, and progress takes time.

The Diocese is deeply committed to a process of renewal, which takes time. The critical voices echoed in the media seem to be telling the Diocese: "There is no time. You have no time."

Now, suddenly, under the watch of the ombudsman, there simply is "no time", because we are being dragged into "today's administrative standards, ready or not". So, day by day more and more church workers are being held to the highest administrative standards, and, quite frankly, many are simply not yet up to the task, at least, not to the degree to be expected in business or public institutions which have been developing them for decades. A diocese can't just fire everybody in one fell swoop and start from scratch. There are also issues of justice and fair treatment of workers to be respected. It looks to me like we are all being dragged into the 21st century kicking and screaming and holding on for dear life.

Maybe this ongoing renewal of our diocese and the stringent demands of the ombudsman will continue to cost us and "more administrative heads may have to roll", as it were; who can tell? One media article, perhaps quoting the ombudsman's report, insinuated that the Diocese was using canon law to conceal or protect people against whom there may be a complaint. There again, those who are ignorant of how the Church operates, and who may want to remain ignorant, can't understand that canon law is part of the Roman Catholic Church's "code" of conduct. No diocese, bishop, priest, or baptized person has an "option" of not abiding by canon law, but must live in accord with it. Clergy are strictly held to live and work in accord with canon law. People complain about the delays in civil legal procedures and courts, but they accept that this is the way it is. Well, it's the same with Church canonical procedures.

Jesus continues to offer "eternal life" through his Church.... 

In the meantime, in appears to me - I could be wrong - that news outlets are glad to have one more reason to beat up on "the church". Any time "the Church" stands out - like at Christmas and Easter - she makes a "good target" I suppose. If there's no "new" news, rehashing "old" news will have to do. For those of us who love the Church, she is our Mother, because through her our God gives us life, a share in eternal life. Jesus defined eternal life this way, according to John the Evangelist: "And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." John 17:3 

The Church is our mother, and she doesn't need us to add our own scandalized grumblings and strident recriminations from our comfortable couches. Frustration can be a profitable thing, if we interpret it as part of "the cross" that Jesus says we must all be willing to bear if we would follow Him. As Father John Walsh of beloved memory used to say and actually wrote: "It may be more comfortable to watch the parade from the sidelines, but it is far more effective to join the parade." We'll see how it goes. 

The new policy of protecting vulnerable people is working and continues to be developed....

We know that in 2019-2020 a priest was accused, judged, condemned, imprisoned, and laicized for having sexually abused two minors. In the past two years alone the Archbishop has brought the diocesan personnel and many priests through sensitivity training in order to enable everyone to participate in helping to prevent abuse of any kind from every happening again. Not everyone has been through the formation yet, but our collection of parishes, movements, clergy and laity can't be expected to move "in lock step" like the employees of a large corporation who are given no choice if they want to keep their salary. Our Church has salaried people but it also has retired people and volunteers. 

The opeating principle of the R.C. Church is "good will"; like what the angels spoke of to the shepherds guarding their flocks by night in the fields near Bethlehem at the time of Jesus' Nativity, which we are preparing these days to celebrte. The church is not the military on parade. Human nature being what it is, there will always be risks, but we try to minimize them and to put everyone involved "on alert", which is a very good thing to do. In many ways, Montreal is leading the way for other churches.

It is true, as Pope Francis repeats, that even one single act of abuse is criminal and unacceptable. The Roman Catholic Church consists of 2,248 dioceses, over 5,600 bishops, over 414,582 priests, and 1.3 billion Catholics worldwide. Unlike a tightly organized multinational corporation, the R.C. Church can only move slowly but surely. We have all seen how long it has taken Pope Francis, with all his determined efforts, to reform the Vatican Curia, a task which has made much progress but which continues to this day. Strong decisions are being made, strong measures are being implemented, and strong action is being taken, but the Church is not a police state, civil government, or military.

True progress takes time....

You know the expression well: "Rome wasn't built in a day." However, those who are disgruntled with the Church's progress to date - whether they take issue with the Vatican, with the many dioceses of a particular country, with their own nation or diocese, or with their own parish - progress takes time. Every time someone new comes along, they have to be trained and start from scratch. "You can't turn a ship on a dime."; as the captain of the Titanic discovered to his discomfiture and to his death.

Much is currently being done, which is good, but reports say that there remain trouble spots where action may not be happening fast enough. However, in making these remarks, we are not distinguishing among the varied levels of complaint - from the person who doesn't like a priest's tone of voice or the way he looks at them, at the less serious end of the spectrum, to an actual allegation of sexual abuse, abuse of authority and power, or psychological abuse at the really serious end.

I have heard of at least 3 priests recently - good young priests with fine reputations and who were well loved - against whom there was a complaint, not necessarily of a sexual nature but perhaps in terms of the treatment of relationships, or simply because they weren't scrupulously following 21st century administrative procedures. I can tell you that "a great big hand reached down from the sky and pulled them rapidly out of both their ministry and residence", basically making them "disappear" for the duration of the ensuing investigation, whether or not they would later be found guilty. 

The process can be merciless... which is difficult for a Church that is a Mother....

Should it turn out that they are innocent and were falsely or mistakenly accused, the damage to their reputation will probably remain irreparable... "the cost of doing business in this modern age". These modern ultra high standards are killing for the parish communities that suddenly find their priest "disappeared" without explanation. We all agree that overt sexual abuse of any kind is intolerable, but some less grave forms of abuse are also reported. Even if one person or a few people have a legitimate complaint that they felt mistreated by their priest, the truth often is that all the other people in the parish may hold the priest in high regard, appreciate his ministry, and dearly love him. None of this matters in the face of a complaint, and the priest is "taken out". The ombudsman is watching and waiting. 

The rigorous standards which brought us the ombudsman require confidentiality; such that very little if anything can be told to the parishioners, lest the identity of the person making the complaint be revealed. Even in the case of the priest found to be innocent, when it turns out that he did nothing wrong; nevertheless, confidentiality requires protection even for the identity of the one who complained; so, either way, guilty or innocent, the priest will have to live with the consequences for the rest of his life... "the cost of doing business in this modern age". This whole process can be merciless, which is difficult for the Church to endure; for she truly is a Mother and exists to "give life" and "give life in abundance" as Jesus promised. The Church is Jesus' instrument in the world to manifest the "maternal love" of God his Father by the workings of the Holy Spirit, the "Lord and Giver of life".

The latest headlines....

The current hullabaloo in the news is primarily about two things. First, if I understand the situation correctly, there are only 2 or 3 full time workers at the Diocese who must deal with some or many or all of these complaints, and they are already overburdened in their regular functions and duties. The complaints are above and beyond their regular duties and, probably, "way above their pay grade" to employ a secular business term. To all intents and appearances, they are good people doing the best they can. In some cases, the well experienced worker retired and has been replaced by someone new who has to "learn the ropes", which takes at least 6 to 12 months. Then, some of these new people leave to earn more money "in the world", which again requires someone new to start from scratch. In other words, the Diocese is hard pressed from within and without, with little relief in sight. Again, it is my impression that all too often, media outlets seem not to care for this depth of facts. Journalism used to pride itself on being "investigative", but now all too often media reports rather resemble gossip sheets that simply pass on whatever reports or claims may be had from whatever sources are available. 

Second, an episcopal vicar, in other words a close collaborator of the archbishop, has been accused and allegedly messed up. His intentions may have been squeaky clean - I don't know the details, nobody except the ombudsman and a few others know - but he allegedly forwarded something confidential about a complaint to whoever it was he was communicating with. He allegedly broke the rigid rules of confidentiality and the ombudsman is ripping mad. We can sympathize. As ombudsman, she has the task and duty of being the champion of those with a serious complaint. As a result of these high standards, whether the episcopal vicar in question messed up or not, "he's gone", "burned", "finished".

Apparently, we're "not working fast enough"....

Third, her other complaint is that the process of handling complaints isn't going fast enough according to the standard she is putting to the Diocese. Well, hello! The Diocesan Curia is not a multinational corporation with a president, 5 vice-presidents, and an army of department managers with dozens of employees each, all earning six figures annually, and leaning heavily on the people below them.

All the clergy earn the same, from the newly ordained to the priest with 50 years of experience, from the newly ordained priest to the archbishop and his auxiliary bishops. In 2022, that was $27,601.46 + an amount for room - $7,992.19 and board - $6,750.73 plus employer contributions to the group insurance and pension funds; for a total value of ca. $45,000.00. Lay people working for the Diocese, depending on whether they have 1 or 2 certificates, a Bachelor's or a Master's degree, earn from $33,998 to $40,384.00 plus employer contributions to the group insurance and pension funds, putting them roughly on a par with the clergy. It is true that the clergy are better off than their predecessors prior to around 1960 when the first annual salary of $1,000.00 was instituted. Before that, priests only got $1.00 for each Mass they celebrated, period. That was it; apart from anything more that people may have wanted to give them from time to time. In those days, pastors took charge of the Christmas and Easter collections, from which they had to administer the rectory staff and expenses, including food. Despite these figures, which dramatically increased in recent years to ca. $8,000.00 when I was ordained in 1983, people can still find better conditions "in the world", and they do, regularly, leave to do that. 

For priests on pensions today, the older their pension is, the less they currently receive, due to the rapid increases in salary in the 1980's and 1990's, and the less likely they are to earn enough to be able to live where they would like to live; such that they probably have to settle for whatever they can afford, like many pensioners in the general population, with the exception of course of those who benefit from family inheritances putting them among those who are "independently wealthy". As prices continue to rise, the average priest, like the average lay person, will be able to afford even less.

Do you have a right to an opinion if you are "merely a bystander" and don't support the Church?

Meanwhile, the vast majority of "the faithful" either "watch the Mass" from the comfort of their home or don't participate at all. We sympathize with and do our best to live in solidarity with, and to support, those who are really poor. No doubt that Jesus still finds among the poor the "widow giving her two little coins" for love of the Church. Among those many people who live well enough, very few actually loosen their purse strings to contribute to the Church, and when they do, for most of them, it wouldn't even cover the tip for a cup of coffee. At the same time, the cost of repairs and maintenance on church buildings has doubled or more, with the general result that they cannot be maintained and people who still go to church hope and pray their church will remain open as long as possible until the city has to condemn the building as unsafe and order it locked up; as happened over a year ago with St. Gabriel. Many or most of our parishes cannot even pay their priest's salary, let alone do maintenance.

"In the world", the president and CEO makes a decision and sends it to his VP's, who in turn lean heavily on their many managers, who then tighten the screws on their dozens of workers. Nope, not here. We're talking 2 or 3 people IN ALL to handle the complaints coming from the ombudsman! I could be wrong, but this is the way it seems to be to me as I approach my 40th anniversary.

Time to "wake up"!

So, let's wake up and smell the coffee, folks. Let's get real and stop flying high in the stratosphere with our highfalutin discourses about "how scandalous it is how the Church is handling or not handling" the wide spectrum of complaints keeping the ombudsman busy. The Diocese of Montreal stands with our Archbishop and is decidedly committed to taking the part of each person with a complaint of abuse of any kind. That is good, and we stand by this principle and we stand in solidarity with those who have suffered at the hands of those who have abused them. We feel their pain and join them in praying to God for their healing, comfort, and satisfaction as they are heard and given the help they need.

Meanwhile, we give thanks to God for the good people who, because they work for "the Church", endure in the media a variety of public criticisms, accusations, and condemnations. Nevertheless, they remain faithfully at their posts, for the love of God, for the good of souls, and for love for their Church. For the glory of God, they continue to do the best they can, faithfully supporting our archbishop. 

Jesus warned us not to expect to be treated any better than He was, the Son of God Himself, Love in Person. See how the apostles / evangelists reported this in John 15:18-21 and Matthew 10:22-24. Undoubtedly these good workers will continue to find much comfort in the truth that they are living squarely in the 8th beatitude as reported in his Gospel by Matthew 5:10-12.

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2022 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2022 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Thursday, August 24, 2017

Who will defend the innocence of our children? What about women, men, and the elderly in their dignity? The gift of human sexuality?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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As states impose sexual education on every child in the land, are they truly doing what is best for these children, or have they allowed themselves to become the unwitting tools of an ideology? We who are parents - fathers and mothers - relatives, teachers, pastors, mentors, and other interested parties, are we to stand idly by and allow our children and future generations to be violated and have their innocence shattered? Many German people later regretted having been intimidated by the Nazis and having remained silent out of fear. What is silencing us?

A distinct society

This is Québec, Canada, one of ten provinces known for its "distinct society" since the 1760 British conquest and the 1763 Act of British Parliament which unusually opted to allow French society and culture to continue unchanged alongside the British, which would now be dominant. The British Parliament provided for British Common Law to govern new arrivals (especially British ones) and to allow French civil law to simultaneously continue to govern French-speaking inhabitants.

During the so-called "Quiet Revolution" of the 1960's the Québec provincial government nationalized or privatized many health and social services, which were originally created by the Roman Catholic Church during the first generations of the colony, or which were developed later.

During all the time that elapsed since the foundation of the colonies in Canada between 1534 and 1608 until the mid-1900's, the French population and its clergy - despite differences of opinion and conviction - acted with one will and common purpose when they needed to collaborate to live out together and to preserve their French language, their faith, their values, culture, and society. Primary among their values were marriage, family life, social order, cooperation, and the value of human life as the bases of a harmonious and healthy community and society. This harmonious collaboration in the service of shared values has now eroded and changed.

Sexual education should be dispensed by parents not by strangers in schools

This September of 2017 - next month - the Québec Ministry of Education is poised to impose on the entire school population, from grades one to eleven, the most aggressive sexual education program this land has ever witnessed. This government is in effect aligning itself with those interests which for years now have been intensively lobbying from the United Nations to persuade or compel nations to abandon traditional values regarding human sexuality and any links of meaning or significance with Christian or other religious and moral principles.

The ideology which is driving "Comprehensive Sexuality Education" is in fact conductin a war on children all over the world and clearly trying to eclipse the Judeo-Christian understanding of human life and human sexuality as only one dimension of this life, albeit an important one. The Québec government and its Ministry of Education are aligning themselves with the proponents of the "sexual revolution" initiated by Alfred Kinsey in the 1940's and 1050's with his fraudulent science, and so they are choosing to ignore everything that our society has come to understand about human development and the maturation of the human person, as well as the social and religious values held and defended by this society until recently.

Kinsey and all those who adopted his erroneous data have done great harm to women and children in particular, as well as to men. However, a good number of people have been laboring to expose the fraudulent science with which Kinsey ignited the "sexual revolution" by enthralling educated as well as relatively undeducated people as he demolished social taboos against speaking about sex at all.

I invite you, reader, to reflect on this further with me, that we may see why sexual eduction should be dispensed by parents and not by strangers in schools.

Sexual education touches children to the very depths of their identity and their purpose and meaning in life; so it should happen in the loving and trusting context of the love and care of parents for their children. Parents know their own children most personally and completely, and in their parental love they are the most qualified and competent to dispense their children's complete human formation.

It seems apparent and undisputable, then, that when the state takes over this crucial parental role of introducing children to such an intimate dimension of their human life and identity - which for those who believe in God as He has revealed himself to Jews and Christians is inseparable from our life of faith in a personal and communal relationship with God - then what the state is doing is declaring that its citizens who are parents are incompetent to educate and form their children adequately.

So then, how is the qualification "adequate" being interpreted here? Those interests - that are so bent on having "Comprehensive Sexuality Education" adopted worldwide - want every child on the planet to explore and play with their genitals and those of other children years in advance of their puberty. It is no longer enough for these homosexuals to be accepted by society; now they want all of society to be as they are, and to this end they are attempting to intimidate the whole world into adopting this very aggressive sex education program. In their eyes, only CSE will be adequate to their ends.

Let's be perfectly clear about it - this CSE sex ed program is indoctrination - which is dangerous for children unless their parents ground them in a wholesome understanding of their human sexuality and dignity in accord with their family values. The web and social media already expose most children from a young age to sexual imagery - inappropriate for the most part from many points of view - which is another reason why parents should initiate sex talk with their children from a young age. Some parents may find this easier to do than others, but even when they find it awkward or difficult, it is still well worth doing, and children will be better off for experiencing their parents' support.

For parents and for all those who authentically care for children, the best way to serve what is good for children and most effectively serve their well being,  the context and setting of parental love and trust is to be prioritized and favored as the most adequate to educate and form children to discover and understand most fully and deeply their human sexuality and dignity. Even parents who embrace the secular values that accept the omnipresence of sexual expression advocate for parents to educate their children to understand their sexuality.

Parents naturally would appreciate true collaboration and support from their children's schools, the ministry of education, and their church.  Christian parents can choose from a variety of approaches from a Christian Bible Study to a Catholic online Family Life Education Program. A Roman Catholic woman - wife and mother - in France has developed an incredibly sensitive, insightful, and creative way to speak to her children about their human dignity and sexuality in a way that reveals the full beauty of God's plan for our happiness and "waxes" children to protect them and help them withstand the onslaught of our hyper-sexualized world.

Children and youth are in flux as they grow and develop

Psychological anthropology had firmly established by the 1980's that the human person has not yet experienced the full cycle of its human development until the mid twenties, when a person's identity tends to arrive at sufficient clarity to enable more mature, balanced, and responsible decisions. This means that children and youth are likely to experience a very wide range of emotions and feelings, but that throughout this period they live in a state of relative flux and development.

Care must be taken not to encourage children or youth to "lock themselves in" on a particular state of being or of experience by applying any social or psychological labels to themselves. Whatever it is that they are going through, they are quite likely to change over time. All the more reason then must care be taken to protect children from indoctrination and manipulative exposure to exceptional or risky lifestyles even though these may be portrayed as normal and safe when they actually represent conditions that present greater risk against health and life.

The period between the age of nightmares (from age 3 to 6) and puberty has come to be understood as the latency stage, when pre-pubescent children are not interested in sex and should be respected and allowed to thrive in their innocence. Naturally curious, they may act out their curiosity and play doctor or nurse to "examine" one another. Moreover, if exposed to sexual situations or images they will show interest, but if left on their own and not forcibly exposed to sexual situations, young children are not spontaneously interested. During this stage they may make derogatory remarks or exchange jokes with their peers to mask their interest, especially if their environment is particularly obsessed with sex and won't allow them not to be interested, but we should not conclude that they are. This has been the considered view of those in the medical and psychological professions, parents, teachers, and pastors until the sexual revolution of the mid-1900's.

Political activist interference in medicine, psychiatry, and science by lobby group interests

It is important to realize that some well established medical knowledge, based upon long experience and scientific study, suddenly changed in the final decades of the 20th century, but not for scientific reasons. The latency period was dropped as were all the psychiatric diagnoses that long considered homosexuality and other peripheral sexual practices as deviant or even diseased. 

The APA - The American Psychiatric Association - dropped homosexuality from its DSM II, its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, in 1973. This came shortly after gay lobby activists disrupted the APA annual convention in San Francisco in 1970, quite intimidating the speakers and convention participants. It was not strict science and medical or psychiatric practice that brought these changes in due course. The fraudulent science and ideological claims of Alfred Kinsey in the 1940's and 1950's exerted undue influence as well. The situation was governed more by politics than science.

The latency period in children is real and it protects them

The latency period, though held as a theory, is based upon observation and makes sense. Much of our medical and psychiatric knowledge is constructed on theories that show themselves to be reliable even though it may not be possible to define them as scientific laws. Not all that happens in nature is as clear cut as gravity. Our developmental stages came to be well established and generally accepted until the gay lobby exerted undue political pressure on medical and psychiatric bodies.

The latency period is good for children and it can be shown that they are worse for it when their latency is disturbed. So much is already changing within children that in order to develop a healthy persona they need during these intense few years to "enjoy a break" from the greater complexity and intensity of emotion which will most certainly be generated by puberty and the great upheaval of sexual awareness. They don't need to be forced to give more attention to sexual things sooner than their human nature requires of them, particularly during this period from 6 to 12 when they are far more preoccupied with learning and with competitiveness in a host of domains and activities.

Unless forcibly exposed to sexual things, during the latency stage the normal child is generally not interested in the other gender or in anything sexual, putting behind them their initial curiosity as little children quite intent on playing "doctor" and "nurse". Older children actually find the other gender or any overtly romantic behaviours as "disgusting" and may take great pleasure in declaring this to the world. While there may be subconscious interest or fascination with sexuality in general and with those who are different in particular, children normally like to show their disgust for such things and to remain free to give their attention to the other concerns and activities which they and their peers prioritize, such as comradeship, games, competition, learning, discovery, and adventure.

We must be alert to sexual abuse and vigorously protect children and all minors

There is a legitimate concern that some children are forcibly exposed to sexual matters, or worse, are actually abused sexually through exposure or by being touched and manipulated by others who are more sexually aware or even predatory. Sexual abuse of minors is a very grave wrong and we must do all we can to prevent it and to care for those who have suffered in such ways. However, protecting the innocence of every single child in a society can never justify broad exposure of all children to controversial sexual lifestyles as a strategy to protect them in advance from abuse by alerting them to every possible danger in exhaustive detail.

What is a woman? What is a man?

Our best understanding of human life is that we require some 25 years to emerge from basic human development with sufficient balance and depth to make responsible decisions for ourselves and for others. Our discussions about human sexuality likewise are more likely to serve the common good on the basis of altruism, that is, selfless love of others, as the primary principle that organizes human existence. This does not for all that exclude the legitimate love of self.

The woman who is aware of her own impulse to seek pleasure and avoid pain but who restrains her impulses when motivated by consideration for and love of others is, in this view, more feminine than should she favor herself over others. She is not forever depriving herself but deliberately choosing to withdraw her attention from self satisfaction for the time it takes for her to care for others, and the more she is willing to endure discomfort - even pain - out of love for others, the more womanly she is. Moreover, there is a higher or deeper or more perfect sense of joy or pleasure or satisfaction available to her for doing so, for serving others in this way. Putting up with labor pains for the sake of giving birth to her child(ren) is the classic example of female altruism.

A man is most manly when he puts up with discomfort and delays or puts aside his own pleasure to attend to and serve the needs and pleasure of others. The more patient, selfless, and courageous he is, the more manly he is deemed to be and appreciated and loved. A classic example of male altruism or selfless love is for a father to put the good of his wife and his children ahead of his own benefit or comfort, even to the point of laying down his life for them.

Similarly, this husband will withdraw his attention from his own pleasure as he approaches his wife in intimacy in order to attend to her; in order for the groom of the bride - the bridegroom - to "groom" his bride or care for her in the ways in which she most needs to be cared for. In the act of sexual intercourse, the male is notoriously "faster" than the female, and this tends to result in dissatisfaction or even pain for the woman when the man is preoccupied with his own pleasure and attending to himself rather than to his wife.

Chaste lovers versus sexual addicts

This is the whole point of chastity in the Judeo-Christian world view and anthropology: a chaste man approaches his wife not seeking his own pleasure but motivated and focusing his attention and energy on expressing love to his wife by attending to her appreciation and pleasure. In response, a chaste woman gladly receives pleasure from her husband and dwells not on her own pleasure only but rather with the beloved who is pleasuring her and responds to him with love, gratitude, and tenderness.

Chastity is primarily and constantly loving the other, not the pleasure I am getting in their company. Chaste love chooses to love the giver of the gift rather than merely on the gift or the pleasure it gives. Chaste marital embrace brings husband and wife face to face, revealing themselves to one another as they do their best to do all day long every day of their lives. How deeply they may contemplate and look into each other's soul through the windows of their eyes as they tenderly hold one another in loving embrace....

This is one reason why the many forms of sexual pleasuring rampant today that tend to join face to genitals rather than face to face may cause feelings of discomfort or embarrassment or shame in one or the other. We can be suspicious that what motivates one to want such things has more to do with desires that evoke addictive impulses than with authentic love of the other. A second reason to doubt the life-giving character of such practices comes from what motivated the Creator to assign pleasure to that specific function that is capable of giving life, of conceiving new life. We can legitimately doubt the validity of any other use we may want to make of sexual pleasure. The chaste conservation of genital sexuality for marriage and family is primarily a manifestation of respect for the procreative act, for the incalculable value of human life, and for the intention of the Creator.

Chastity outside of the relationship of husband and wife opens itself to a love that is wider and deeper than mere sexual passion and pleasure. Outside of marriage, people who love chastely put aside all that seeks sexual gratification in order to attend fully to the people they love and serve, as well as to attend with their full attention to the many complex facets of human life alone and together. Chastity opens one fully to experience and appreciate the simple pleasure of being alive and participating fully in one's life in every wholesome and moral way other than sexual genital expression.

Chastity reveals to human beings that genital sexual expression is not a basic human need akin to our need for food, drink, shelter, heat, clothing, work, society, play, truth, goodness, and beauty. All of these are necessary for human life; whereas genital sexual expression is not. People have clearly demonstrated in every culture and time that human beings can life a fully meaningful and happy life without sex, but there are many today who want to suppress this knowledge and history.

The ephemeral in love is a doorway to the infinite, to the divine

Sexual pleasure is notoriously brief and ephemeral, which is one reason why there is so much hype about it in human society these days. It is an attempt to strech out that sexual pleasure by capitalizing on the pleasure of anticipation. There is no doubting that anticipation is truly a precious aspect of our human existence. Even more precious is the contemplation of which we the human species are all uniquely capable. Married couples - husbands and wives - have witnessed that there is no greater pleasure than laying side by side after having given and received from one another in sexual union.

The undisputably ephemeral character of sexual pleasure is the greatest clue it contains that it was designed not to be experienced in isolation but in conjunction with a close friendship that grows into ever greater and greater depths. True love of the other wants to remain with the other forever to go on pouring oneself out in loving service of the other. Sexual union taken as a rogue act denies this truth and actually inflicts harm on the other as well as on oneself.

The inseparable bonds between sexual union, marriage, new life, and family are strong evidence for their design by a benevolent, loving Creator. Taken by itself, or for its own sake, sexual pleasure in "deflating" emotional energy leads to depression, disappointment, and intensifies loneliness; rather than intensifying communion and selfless love, for which it was designed. Employed as a natural means for developing couple unity and communion in marriage, sexual union unceasingly builds on the past and looks to the future while it attends so generously to the other in the present.

Moreover, for those who believe in God, God's love is enough to more than satisfy the human heart. In fact, only the love of God can truly and lastingly satisfy and fulfill the human heart, even that of spouses, and the love of God relieves spouses of the impossible burden of "making their spouse happy", which is humanly impossible. No human can "make another happy", but God can, because only God can perfectly bestow his life, his own self, upon us. In his Gospel John the Apostle and Evangelist reports Jesus declaring that we can only have life fully by welcoming his gift of himself into us, into our lives.

Sexual union in view of contemplation and the integration of human  life

From the moment they met and fell in love they have grown in their personal capacity to attend to the other and effectively express to the other their love and appreciation, their mutual help and service, and to discover ever more creative ways to spend time together, alone and including their children in time, as well as their families of origin, other relatives, friends, associates, those with whom they share their faith, neighbours, and even strangers. All week long they share their common life and the elements of their lives that are particular and unique to each of them. They journey together even as they are engaged in separate labors, duties, and activities.

Day by day they grow in admiration for one another's qualities and giving of themselves to others, and in compassion and understanding for one another's weaknesses and shortcomings. They offer each other mutual help, encouragement, support, forgiveness, rescue when needed, care, sollicitude, and love. All their intensity of living as individuals and of sharing their lives together and building up this new entity that is their "couple" relationship is what builds their family and creates their home, and it is into this "nest" that they welcome their children when these arrive; whether it is through their own mutual giving in conception and birth or by adoption.

It is all this living and giving and loving that is the true "foreplay" of love between husbands and their wives, which is going on all the time, and the more conscious they are of this truth; then the more beautiful and satisfying - even thrilling - are the moments they experience and efforts they deploy in anticipation of coming together in love and affectionate embrace. By the time they come to their moments of sexual union, their minds, hearts, and souls - for having lived their love for one another so truthfully and completely all week long - are vibrating more deeply and intensively than their bodies. Once their moment of sexual union is over - as it so quickly tends to be - they relax in the utter satisfaction of mutual love and contemplation as they lay side by side, glowing with the love they have for the other and the love they feel and receive from the other in the blessed relationship and union which they are uniquely privileged to enjoy together.

It is in this contemplative dimension of their marriage relationship that Christian husbands and wives discover the loving presence of God as the very source and fountain of the love pouring into them, through them, and out from them to one another and to their children. In contemplating one another in love, wives and husbands discover God revealing Himself in his perfect divine love to them in the person of their spouse. It is precisely for this revelation and life infilling of love that God the Creator designed human beings in his own image, male and female in complementary difference; so that in their willingness to forget about oneself they might in ever greater depths discover themselves and receive more abundant life in the very act of loving the other by giving themselves away.

Forgiveness pushes the boundaries and expands the limits of human love

For people who embrace the Creator's design for our life and loving, they discover how to live in two dimensions simultaneously: the human and the divine. In the human dimension they learn how to live through both pleasure and pain / discomfort without allowing these experiences to overly impress or disturb them; while in the divine dimension they discover ever more deeply how to love the other by pouring themselves out and spending themselves completely in a self-giving that ironically renews the self through the very act of pouring the self out, of spending the self to the very last drop for the sake of the other and the other's highest good. This is what could be called an integrated human sexuality because the sexual dimension is fully integrated into the full meaning and purpose of human existence with all the complexity and depth of what it means to be human.

You may have heard or read the expression or proverb: "to err is human, to forgive, divine." "All people commit sins and make mistakes. God forgives them, and people are acting in a godlike, divine way, when they forgive." This saying is from "An Essay on Criticism" by Alexander Pope. Christian spouses or spouses inspired by Christ who practice mutual forgiveness consistently plumb ever more profound depths of authentic love as they become ever more intimately familiar with one another's faults and are hurt by one another's sins and yet faithfully forgive the other with a pure heart sincerely desiring the other's good, conversion, and perfection. This dimension of forgiveness exponentially increases the mutual love of spouses and enhances their sexual embracing and expressions of love.

This is so because there can be no more perfect or authentic expression of love than forgiveness; since to forgive is to give with no assurance of ever receiving an equal return. Every time they are hurt and forgive, every time they have offended and been forgiven, every time they embrace and show love to the other, every time they pour themselves out in selfless effort and the giving over of their self, every time they love with divine love; every time, they add layers of beauty, truth, and goodness to their spousal love and mutual relationship. Every time they lay side by side after their embraces in the nuptial bed, they continue to weave the tapestry that is their married and family life and make room in its warmth for their children and all those they welcome into their "home".

Matrimony qualifies parents to educate and initiate their children to the beauty of living to love

All of this endeavour transforms marriage from a human contract into a divine covenant, from sexual union into matrimony, which is from the latin mater for mother and monium for state or condition. Matrimony is this enterprise of love initiated by the man / groom / husband and reciprocated by the woman / bride / wife, which creates the optimum conditions for the woman to transform into mother and fully activating her awesome powers for giving and nurturing life, not only for her children but also for her husband and for all those that are privileged to be welcomed into the family circle.

When married couples, husband and wife, embrace this awesome design in their mutual love, they experience the very love of God in each other and in their pouring out selflessly of themselves for the other. It is this very presence of the divine life-giving Spirit within their love and their couple that gives ever more life to husband and wife and the children they welcome into their family. They have every reason to be peaceful and to experience with great joy their great freedom and dignity in God, and have no true reason to be ashamed of their sexuality. They can enjoy and exercise their authority fully as parents to form their children in this wondrous understanding of the meaning and significance of human sexuality and its role in giving both life and love.

The complementarity of marriage and celibacy in the kingdom of God

It can truly be said then that woman needs man in order to fully develop her potential as woman; just as man needs woman in order to fully develop his potential as man. The man needs to love his wife - this other who will always be different from him - accepting in this way without limit to endure pain and deprivation and forgetfulness of his own impulses, needs, and wants, even to the point of laying down his life; in order to become truly manly. The woman needs to be cherished and loved to this extent by her husband in order to fully appreciate her own riches and generosity and so bloom and discover within her depths her almost limitless capacity to give of her riches, pouring out her very life in order to give and nurture life to others without destroying herself.

In the Roman Catholic and Orthodox traditions, what is true of marriage and matrimony is equally true of celibate vocations whereby men and women separately pour themselves out in love and service to their fellow human beings in a great variety of life settings: for medical and social services; for education and human formation; for art, music, and literature; for the cultivation of the Earth and its resources; for the solitary and communal contemplation of the mystery of God; and for providing the opportunity and means for their fellow human beings to come to know, love, serve, and worship the Almighty. This too expands the horizons of all that can be integrated into our human experience.

Integrated human sexuality versus sexology

It would be foolish not to acknowledge that for other human beings, the acceptance or quest for pleasure and the avoidance of pain and discomfort is the primary organizing principle of human life. It is logical then for such people to view sexual pleasure as everywhere and always desirable, in or out of marriage. It their view, given that sexual pleasure is ever available and seems to cost nothing, it makes perfect sense to prioritize it.

From among the adherents of this view of human life and sex we hear that some see themselves as champions of the rights of children and youth to suffer no restrictions in the enjoyment of sex, not even from their parents. What they are doing is substituting themselves as the primary care givers of children, by the same token declaring those parents incompetent and holding them in contempt as likely antagonists working against children's sexual emancipation.

As this trend grows, tolerating no religious or moral principles that would limit in any way their quest for unrestricted sexual pleasure; the appearance of a new layer of society more intensively interested in sex has coincided with the development of "sexology" as a new profession with a claim to seek to help people with sexual dysfunctions or difficulties. Those who embrace this new trend may tend to reject the notion of a period of latency in children to favor the view that human beings are interested in sex in differing degrees from birth throughout their lives. These folks would be among the most energetic proponents of a school based Sex Education program to "trump" the parents.

Comprehensive Sexuality Education - a euphemism for sex without moral restraints

What we are currently witnessing throughout the world could be characterized as a hostile takeover by an aggressive sexual ideology - euphemistically called "Comprehensive Sexuality Education" - which is currently pushing on the world stage to displace what has been the normal constellation of human values since time immemorial. Credible witnesses report weekly the relentless attacks at the United Nations that aggressively seek to impose on all member nations their sexual ideology, which seeks to promote particular lobby interests rather than the actual good and rights of children.

The manifest intention of these lobbyists is to displace those values contained in the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights" and adopted by the United Nations in 1948 and replace them with the complex ideology which underpins what is being called "The Global Sexual Revolution." It is no coincidence that Dr Alfred Kinsey published his first book to disintegrate western society's social and moral values with his first book also in 1948, ostensibly launching the "sexual revolution".

During the French Revolution the Marquis de Sade may have been the first to portray as pleasurable and desirable with the written word forms of sexuality that society found to be perverse. Margaret Sanger (1879-1966) and the Eugenics Movement has been less known but most people living today have at least heard of the Nazi's "pure race" National Socialist ideology which they carried out in Germany by exterminating all those deemed "impure". Here is a quote from Sanger indicating her thought about "engineering" the kind of society we want tomorrow through abortion.

“How are we to breed a race of human thoroughbreds unless we follow the same plan? We must make this country into a garden of children instead of a disorderly back lot overrun with human weeds.” (1924)
Eugenics was "in the air" at the beginning of the 20th century and popularly held in intelligentsia circles, at least some of them, primarily out of a concern for "overpopulation". Margaret is recognized as the foundress of "Planned Parenthood" which movement is far less about parenthood and planning for children and far more about planning for a reduction of babies, particularly among segments of society considered to be less worthy of passing on their genes. This movement is also promoting sex without consequences or risks, which is an illusion and a lie generating deadly effects throughout society. It generates a culture that holds in contempt the very idea of sexual abstinence.

De Sade and Sanger are among the pillars upon which today's sexual activists have their footing. In most societies it is the husband and wife couple that are the heart of the family, and any other models of sexual expression have been marginalized by the majority of their populations. This consigning to the margins may have been simply through benign neglect or withdrawal of attention or through active and even severe persecution and repression. One clear feature of the 20th century has been the various movements of emancipation and liberation, most notably of black slaves in the Americas.

Emancipation has been co-opted as an ideology by homosexuals in what was initially deployed as the social engineering agenda of the "gay lobby" in the middle of the 20th century. Documents internal to this movement have since come to light delineating a clear and deliberate strategy to approach the general population by winning sympathy to their espoused cause of liberation from persecution. Once sympathy was won, the next step was to progressively erode the general population's aversion to homosexuality until this different perspective was accepted as an alternative to the traditional model of marriage and family.

We need to distinguish the political movement from the lives of real people and families

What appeared to be the destination or final goal of the gay lobby was the advent of "gay marriage" or the social acceptance of marriage between two people of the same sex. In fact and practice, "same sex marriage" has stretched the traditional definition of marriage to the point that the word no longer means what it used to mean. Furthermore, the understanding of parenting has also been stretched to make the exceptional situation of single parenting a basis for extending this exceptional reality and practice as a normative alternative for parenting by two mothers or fathers.

We need to carefully make the distinction here between political movements and lobbying and the real lives of people and families. I would dare venture that most if not all of us know someone, maybe even someone whom we love dearly, who have entered into a "same sex civil marriage" and / or are raising children with two mothers or two fathers. As Pope Francis said so well, "Who am I to judge?" We can only have admiration and respect for anyone who brings children into the world or adopts them and the commits decades of their lives to raising them to live a meaningful life.

What we are discussing here is the political movements that are trying to replace traditional values with peripheral ones, that is, trying to indoctrinate children into thinking that a homesexual lifestyle is equal in value to the marriage of one man and one woman for the raising of children, and going so far as to encourage all children to experiment with homosexual sexual expression from a young age in order to engineer a society in which the homosexual agenda may become the dominant one. In the long experience of humanity, it can be fairly and justly said that children have a right to a mother and a father, to have both parents. The gay lobby will have none of that.

In the last few years it has become shockingly apparent that the impression that same sex marriage and parenting would be the final destination of the gay lobby was just that, a false impression, and nothing more. "Gay rights" has since progressively developed towards a full blown ideology which step by step was publicized as "lesbian and gay" rights, then "lesbian, gay, and bisexual" rights, then "lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transexual" rights, then "LGBTQ" rights (adding Q for queer, or for some, questioning, and swapping transexual for transgendered), and most recently with the full deployment of "gender theory" initially in Europe, "LGBTQIA" rights, where T is for transgendered, I is for Intersex, and A is for Asexual.

It is finally clear now for all to see and understand that this entire social movement values, promotes, and champions nothing less than unlimited and unrestricted sex devoid of any traditional morality. This is not to say that those who bear in their spirits these convictions and aspirations are incapable of selfless love and dedication. On the contrary. Every human being is capable of altruism and at some point feels drawn to give selflessly, even courageously and generously. What we are considering here is the degree to which any individual or group wants human life and society to be sexualized. Once again, we are discussing here political manipulation of society and not the value of real lives.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights is no longer quite as universal as it was

Before all these social revolutions, church, government, and most if not all public institutions served the public purpose of defending and promoting the values of the general population and the common good, which since the time of the colony consisted primarily but not exclusively of Judeo-Christian faith and values. While it is true that these values and the lives upon which they are based have gone through varying degrees of erosion; the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights has continued to most accurately represent this society's foundational values, particularly with regard to marriage and family life, and public institutions reflected this fact.

In the public square the primary motor driving change appears to have been what has rapidly evolved from the "gay lobby" into the "LGBTQIA" ideology. At the outset the gay lobby simply called for the general society to recognize as equal citizens those with a different sexual orientation and to help stop persecution and unjust treatment towards such persons. A major shift is now occurring as you read this from Europe to the Americas to Oceania and soon to Asia and Africa: those pushing this complex of ideologies is now demanding that their ideology and interpretation of human anthropology replace all that has gone before. For a growing number of individuals and practitioners of various social, medical, and psychological services, "wall to wall" sex is already the "new normal". Ultimately now, there are those who want children to be so indoctrinated that any other view of what is a human being, what is human life, and what is human sexuality will be stamped out.

The new sex education program will be encouraging children from grade one if not from kindergarten to "explore their sexuality" in every way imaginable, and presenting this as the new normal. Anything else will be increasingly seen as deviant, and perhaps soon, criminal. If you don't believe these words, then check it out for yourself.

December 8th, 1995, the Roman Catholic Church published "The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality" which expresses clearly and intelligibly the place and role of our sexuality in our human life and both private and social beings. Sections V to VIII are specifically addressed to parents as the first educators of their children and declares that states should never displace or attempt to substitute for the parents, and that formation of children in their affective lives and in their human sexuality should take place within the context of their loving and trusting relationship with their parents and with reference to the constellation of our moral values and faith if at all possible.

More life and more love, not less

The good news brought to the Earth and humanity by the Son of God who became incarnate of the Virgin Mary, was born in Bethlehem, and came to be known as Jesus of Nazareth, son of Mary and of Joseph the carpenter - this good news that He brought by his very life and example and then more explicitly in his preaching, miracles, passion, death, and resurrection - this good news is for all of humanity to experience more life and more love, not less.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believe in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Those who believe in him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already, because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God." John 3:16-21
Jesus revealed even more clearly than the Word of God in the Jewish Scriptures that God loves every human being and wants to pour into each person his own divine life. All He asks is that we come to know his ways and then to abide in them. The "manufacturer" has the right to issue instructions or a "user's manual", which is what God has done. It is up to each of us to take greater interest in what He has to say to us about Himself - about God - as well as about us, about our human life. After all, our life here is only a beginning, and when we die, we bring with us all that we have become as a person, both the good and the bad. We hope to lay aside all the bad and retain only the good by the end.

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Sunday, January 31, 2016

Sex - Marriage - Divorce - Family - Gender - Why are we in the mess we're in?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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SEX

A century ago the societies of most nations on Earth had ritual behaviors of various sorts around the experience and use of human sexuality and for the most part a certain primacy was given to marriage and family and the exercise of sex was shrouded in conventions of respect and modesty that kept it out of public display. In the time that elapsed since then various interests have attacked these social norms, qualifying them as taboos harmful to the full human freedom of expression.

As a result we have seen not only the dismantling of sexual taboos but radical loss of respect for the human person and women have suffered the most. The disintegration of marriage and family has caused ever increasing numbers of women to be reduced to the ranks of the poor as they struggle to raise their children as single parents after their divorce or failure to marry. More men than ever are failing to take their full share of responsibilities as spouses and fathers after they have enjoyed sexual union with their partner.

The so called "sexual revolution" of the mid-twentieth century was initiated to free women so that they might be as free as men to fully experience and enjoy their sexuality, but the actual result has been to reduce women to abandonment and poverty in the end. How could we fall so far so quickly?

MARRIAGE

It is no coincidence that during this same period of time Hollywood played a strong role in changing social moral values not only in Western societies but worldwide. Such institutions as the arrangement by parents of the marriages of their offspring worked fairly well for centuries if not for millennia; yet very quickly under the scrutiny of the camera such proven traditional practices were put to shame by ridicule in favor of romance. Tragically, romance did not live up to its enthusiastic claims and has proven to be far less effective in establishing successful and stable marriages and families. Once romance is claimed as a perennial value, it is hard to "turn it off" after one has married the spouse with whom one fell in love. The high hormonal experience of falling in love is often preferred to the long term development of a deeper loving relationship which is the basis and heart of marriage.

DIVORCE

When one perennially sighs for the next partner with whom one can "fall in love" one tends to get stuck in adolescence or at least in young adulthood. By electing not to face the challenges of the real and ever deepening human intimacy which is essential to marriage, one gets locked into what Pope Francis calls the "throw away culture" that is quite willing to "drop" or "throw away" the spouse or partner with whom one is no longer satisfied in favor of another who would be more likely to stir up the high hormonal reaction of "falling in love". When a human being does not live fully or deeply there results a need to experience more intense hormonal reactions in order to verify that one is still alive because the ordinary experiences of everyday life are merely being sampled but not fully tasted.

This is not to say that everyone who divorces is immature and selfish. Sadly, it happens far too often that a mature, selfless, and loving person marries with the best of intentions someone who is not as fully mature or committed as they were. There are few more painful experiences in life than being abandoned by a less committed spouse after one has given everything and held nothing back. The sense of betrayal one experiences under such circumstances is profoundly painful and may for a time be quite debilitating.

PERFECT LOVE

Thankfully, the person with even a minimum of faith can find in God release from such pain and suffering. The human soul was designed by the Creator to seek and receive the presence and love of the Holy Trinity, and the experience of marital abandonment in separation or divorce can become an opportunity for a person to discover God more deeply and personally. It brings great peace and joy to realize that in actual fact only God can truly and perfectly satisfy the longing of the human heart to be loved perfectly, completely, and unceasingly.

The intimate friendship showered by God on chosen individuals such as Abraham, Moses, and the prophets during the time of the Jewish Covenant was also offered and is still offered today to those willing to learn the "fear of the Lord", the way of wisdom which God offers to those who wish and who commit themselves to "walk in the Lord's ways". Such a walk and way of life implies study of the Torah and a life of prayer by both women and men in ways consistent with their calling in life.

Jesus of Nazareth, whom his followers call the Christ - the Messiah - sharpened the focus of God's call and the desirable human response around his commandment to his disciples that they love one another as He loved them and that they teach others to do likewise. Jesus revealed that God is not just a divine being but one in whom there are three persons. In his teaching, life, and example Jesus revealed that God is, in effect, a community of divine persons in one divine being. Jesus taught that we human beings are designed to love and be loved through the same self-giving by which the Holy Trinity pours the divine life of love into us.

FAMILY

Our Creator God designed human beings for a fullness of life through love such that we have truly been created "in the image and likeness" of God as told in the first chapters of Genesis. Bishop Lionel Gendron, P.S.S., Bishop of the Diocese of Saint-Jean-Longueuil south of Montreal in the Province of Québec teaches that the human family is patterned after the Holy Trinity.

Jesus revealed that He the divine Son receives his life from the Father and that He ever seeks to give his life back to the Father as an offering freely given and with the value added of his life, ministry, and sacrifice. The fruit of the love between the Father and the Son is another divine person, the Holy Spirit. When a man cherishes his wife he reflects the love of the Father for his Son; as a cherished wife returns this love to her husband with the value added of her devotion to him, and later to their children, the fruit of their love is the new entity or life which is their "couple" relationship.

Joined in a lifelong commitment in marriage, they are no longer two but one flesh, not only in the physical and emotional union of intercourse but in the mutual self-giving of their shared life and love together. It is the faithful, exclusive, devoted, and unending love and life of husband and wife as a couple that gives birth to a family, whether or not they are able to conceive their own children. The couple made up of a husband and wife who draw their life and love from God is the richest formula for family that can be conceived of, because each relies on God for love and bestows that love on the other. The human heart has such a need for love that no human being can perfectly satisfy it, but only God. When a married couple rely on God's love, they are free to love one another without holding the other responsible for their happiness.

A loving couple consisting of a husband and wife possess in themselves the fullness of human life as  complementary male and female, providing their children with all that they could need as mentors for their upbringing and formation for life. In addition, the family in which the parents are rooted in God provides for the children an environment in which they can come to know and love God as they come to know and experience his love for them by being first introduced to God by the example, formation, and direction of their parents.

GENDER

While the sexual revolution of the 1960's was in part an attempt by some women to experience the same freedom men seemed to have to enjoy sex without responsibility or consequences, women can never free themselves from their biological and psychological design for the conception and gestation of human life. A few try by seeking conversion into males, but then they are no longer females.

Attempts to block conception, control fertility, or induce temporary infertility remain just that, efforts to circumvent or frustrate our natural human design and purpose. While we can do this in a "green" way by respecting our natural processes and avoid conceiving new life for a time, navigating against the current remains a strain for our whole being. The deepest satisfaction human beings can know is that which comes through cooperation with the fundamental design of our nature: we are designed not only to live but also to give life.

In most cultures and human societies there are some who are called not to marry or have children but to live as celibates for another purpose. Celibates reorient their vital energies to live and to love by giving life in other ways and through other forms of contribution to the common good.

Advances in the social sciences - especially in biology and psychology - help us to understand how it is that in most societies and times there are some individuals who for various reasons are not at ease identifying with their own gender. For some it may be that they find it difficult to embrace their own gender mode - the male mode is scientifically established as the "intrusive" mode, and the female mode is scientifically established as the "inclusive" mode - and so they may actually prefer the mode of the other gender or of their opposite gender parent. For some individuals this may lead them to prefer or to identify with the other gender rather than their own.

Failing to embrace or being loath to embrace one's own gender causes confusion for the individual but also for others. There is already enough confusion in human relationships, but gender confusion makes everything much more complicated by tending to confuse much non-verbal communication.

At this time at the beginning of the 21st century there seems to be more gender confusion than ever. There is a social movement or trend lobbying for the elimination of gender distinctions altogether, which would extend gender confusion throughout the whole society. Such a view seems based on the assumption that human nature is a blank on which we can design whatever we wish and on the denial of specific ends for which we have been deferentially designed male or female.

SEXUAL FEELINGS, ORIENTATION, AND IDENTITY

Still, compassion and understanding require of us respect for others and a willingness to give them the benefit of the doubt in the absence of clear explanations for the way things are as they are. Since 1961 when "the pill" was first manufactured and marketed, we have seen the advent of three or more new generations of offspring who have - to a greater or lesser extent - accumulated the effects of this chemical invasion of our women. The pill interferes with a woman hormonal balance with the stated aim of forcing her fertility cycle to become more regular and the admitted side effect that it prevents conception either from taking place or from progressing after it has taken place.

As far as we know at present no longitudinal studies have been conducted to ascertain whether or not additional effects of the pill might be to so upset women's hormonal balance as to cause subsequent gender confusion in some of their offspring. This could be a plausible explanation for same sex attraction in some individuals.

Another factor concerns what social and psychological scientists call the latent sexual period in children aged six to twelve or until the onset of puberty. In a society where sexual matters are kept out of public display children enjoy greater protection from the invasiveness of sexual imagery to disturb their imaginations before this happens naturally in the course of puberty. During the latency period children have sufficient concerns to occupy their complete attention and have been shown to be better prepared for the changes precipitated by puberty when they have been allowed to rest from these added pressures until they are sufficiently developed to face and endure them.

The overwhelmingly public tidal wave of explicit sexuality, sex in advertising, and pornography of varying degrees of intrusiveness has become so all pervasive that children are allowed little or no rest or protection from the invasiveness of sexual imagery and the complex emotions associated with it, such that many children are deprived of the "latency rest" and forced to endure sexual confusion earlier than they would want and before they are sufficiently developed to make sense of it.

In such a hostile environment it is not surprising that more children experience gender confusion from an early age. In addition the proactive if not aggressive lobbying of homosexual movements is undoubtedly adding to the pressure already experienced by confused children to "lock themselves in" and identify themselves with a particular sexual orientation. Given that human beings remain in a process of development that is not completed until the early to mid twenties, though it may not be fully realized until much later in life; it would seem a violation of their human dignity and freedom to require of children that they prematurely label or define themselves so narrowly as by sexual feelings that for the most part are often only incidental, passing, or temporary.

WHY ARE WE IN THE MESS WE'RE IN?

In philosophical and anthropological discourses one can find just about any view conceivable of what a human being is, or what might be the meaning and purpose of human life. The spectrum goes from claiming total freedom to define human life in whatever way we wish, at one end, to declaring, at the other end, that we are already locked into the design of our nature as it is whether we like it or not.

Social scientists tend to limit themselves to factors that are visible, tangible, and measurable, which is why they tend to put aside and exclude from consideration invisible, less tangible, immeasurable factors such as spirituality and divine revelation. Such biases considerably weaken and limit our ability to comprehend the full value and potential of human life, given that we are amphibians of a sort, living both in the physical world and in the spiritual world.

DIVINE REVELATION OF OUR HUMAN ORIGINS

... to be continued shortly....

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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