What is a woman to do when her man "treats her like dirt"? What does a man do when his woman "treats him like dirt"? When one "gets religion" and makes life hell for the other?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Hello Dear Suffering Soul, 

I thank the suffering soul who trusted me with remarks along those lines, and for putting trust in me. I will be as candid as I can be also with you who read me here.

First of all, I have deep respect for women, because of the great dignity which God our Creator has given you, and because of your deep capacity - when this feminine human nature is embraced and accepted by each woman - to give life and nurture life in others.

I also have deep respect for men, because of the great dignity which God our Creator has given you, us because I myself am a man, and because of man's deep capacity to engage the world, struggle with it to cultivate it, and eke out an existence from it for himself and his family.

Of course, men are also capable of giving life and nurturing, but it seems evident that God has specifically designed woman with this capacity. Similarly, women are also capable of engaging the world, struggling with it and cultivating it - in fact, in many cultures women do most of the tilling of the soil - but again, it seems evident that God has specifically designed man with this capacity.

Unfortunately, that same capacity in woman to be inclusive of others and to care for them, can also become a weak point that can be exploited by people who are either unscrupulous or who simply have not sufficiently matured so as to be sensitive to the dignity of others and still too selfish to become aware of others as living persons and to respect them. It's normal for a baby at the breast to be selfish because that is the first stage of life and the other stages have not yet developed. However, it is sad, even tragic, and downright dangerous when a full grown human being is still selfish and entirely preoccupied only with their own self; oblivious to others as living persons.

Man's capacity can also become a weak point exploited by others, which we can readily observe in the "new slavery" evident all over the planet; whereby men are drawn into "voluntary slavery" by being seduced by the "carrot" promising them rewards and advancement, but with the "stick" close behind, threatening to punish them or fire them if they don't comply. The fear, even terror, engendered by this new slavery explains why men surrender to long hours away from their wife, children, and home.

From this point on, I will write only from the woman's point of view, the female soul who wrote to me. Men have only to reverse the values for the text to equally apply to them in their situations of abuse or neglect by their woman.

This seems to be what you reported to me as happening to you by what you sense is a lack of respect, of caring, of responsibility, of friendship, of cooperation, and of love - authentic caring - on the part of your male partner.

If I understand correctly, you and he lived in intimacy for most of the past several years, but then when he suddenly took more interest in religion, he laid down "the law" to you; stating that you could no longer have intimacy unless you got married in the Church.

There is a difference between religion and faith, between rituals and spirituality. People can see themselves as "religious" because they are trying to follow what they perceive as "the rules", but this can turn into rigid and uncaring behaviour. The entire focus is on the rules, following them, being seen as following them, and wanting to escape punishment for not following them.

That was precisely the attitude and behaviour of most of the religious leaders who turned on Jesus and had Him killed. Jesus was the son of Mary but also the Son of God, and He still is, now that in his human body He rose from the dead, left the tomb, walked about meeting his disciples for 40 days, and then ascended to the Father's right hand in Heaven. People who rigidly try to follow religious rules do that because they have not yet actually met the living God in Person. God isn't real to them yet, not in a personal way, but only as a "big threatening figure in the sky" whom they believe to be ready to punish them as soon as they step out of line, or else be ready to throw them down into hell for all eternity at their moment of death. In effect, they understand nothing of who God is nor of the ways of the Lord.

Jesus seriously said that whatever we do to others - all the other people we meet on Earth, and especially the people in our own lives - we do those very same things to Jesus Himself. In other words, Jesus - along with his Father and the Holy Spirit - because they are so united together, we call them the Most Holy Trinity - because they love us without any conditions, they care for us, for each and every one of us so much, that they take personally whatever we do to one another, even to strangers.

That is why Jesus kept repeating: "Repent, and believe the good news."

What I just said about God's unconditional love is the good news. The bad news is that we are badly out of sync with God and his design for us, and we need to stop, turn around, repent, change our attitude and behaviours, and accept to live a new life in communion with God and at peace with our neighbour, and even with enemies.

What you need to hear, my daughter, is that God loves you; you are his daughter, and the dignity that He built into you from the moment of your conception is God's gift to you, the value of who you are for yourself as well as for others, and no one can take your dignity away from you.

You may at times be badly treated by others, but they only betray themselves, making visible the evil within them, or the limits of their goodness, their lack of maturity and responsibility, their lack of sensitivity and caring. Jesus proclaimed us blessed when we suffer in these ways, because we are being treated in the same way that He was treated. Even though Jesus is Love in Person; He was rejected, falsely accused, unfairly condemned, tortured, and cruelly executed. He accepted to suffer in this way because the Father sent Him into the world to demonstrate to humanity for all time what God is really like, and what authentic love looks like in a human being.

You options are, among the following, to accept what you suffer out of love for God, and offer your suffering as a pleasing sacrifice to God; as Jesus did on the Cross. No one can coerce us to do this; it is something that can only happen when we find within us the love to do it willingly and even gladly. That is why every day we need to be filled with God's love for us; filled with the Holy Spirit, because only God living within us and loving us can enable us to love with this same divine love.

Second, you can decide to withdraw from your man and, with God's help, find a better man more qualified and willing to be a true husband. God has filled you with dignity and his gifts and He wants to give you more... his truth, his goodness, and his beauty... and you don't need to feel obliged to "waste" your gifts on someone who is unwilling or unable to appreciate them or you, or who is incapable or unwilling to truly love you. Jesus warned us not to put our pearls (our dignity) before pigs, because they will turn around and maul us.

Third, you can try to have a mature and peaceful conversation with your man, expecting him to behave and chat like a responsible and mature adult. In such a conversation, there are no accusations. No one points a finger and cries out: "You...." Rather, each one calmly relates what it is like being who they are, what it is like to suffer as a result of attitudes shown, words said, actions done, and actions failed to be done. For example: "Yesterday, I heard the following words... these words stabbed me like a knife, and I cried for hours." When I honestly open my mind and heart to someone, their only options are to be silent, to believe me, or not believe me, or they can go on the defensive and try to justify themselves, or they can turn on me with an offensive barrage of accusations.... It can get ugly when one or both are not willing to be honest and humble, willing to believe and trust the other, willing to take responsibility for themselves and to acknowledge the unique life and person of the other.

No one can "put some sense into" another person's head. Each human person must accept to face life's challenges, to take responsibility for their own attitudes, thoughts, words, actions, and failures to act. This is what it means for a boy to become a man and for a girl to become a woman, for a child to become an adult. Each person must decide to stop blaming everyone else for what they suffer and for their disappointments. Life often sucks, and we all have to just get over it. We are called by God our Creator to learn that life is a gift, that other people are persons just like me, that they have dignity given them by God, that they have the right to exist, to breathe, and to live their life fully, and we need to be willing to be grateful, to cultivate an attitude of gratitude for life, for other people and what they contribute to our life, and ultimately, we are for a while on Earth to learn to be grateful to God and offer Him the worship that is due to Him.

When people enter into marriage with a 50 / 50 attitude, it is doomed to failure. God has designed us men and women to become a couple, and most of us try to do it. A few are called to live a solitary life, like priests and religious, and some professionals who dedicate their lives in service to humanity. In this enterprise of becoming a couple and entering into marriage, the man and the woman need to be mature and responsible, and they understand that the other is so precious that the other deserves that I give nothing less than 100% of everything that I am and have all of the time. Naturally, because of the original sin when human beings broke their trust in God and in each other, because of our mortal condition; we never measure up to this ideal of 100% of me and all that I am and have all of the time. That is why we need to practice showing each other kindness and understanding, mercy and forgiveness. This is especially true because we grow and develop at a different pace, in different seasons of life, and go through different stages at different times from each other.

Feel free, my daughter, to reply with further thoughts or questions.

At some point, it would make sense for these exchanges to be between the priest and the couple. If a couple are not capable or willing to open up to a priest with complete and mutual trust; then it would appear that the man and woman are not really a couple. They may be living under the same roof, they may be sharing the same bed, they may even have sexual intimacy, but it is unlikely that it is anything like what God our Creator designed us to be capable of, nor what He intended for us in order to experience life and his blessing in abundance. God's design for the intimate union of a man and a woman is that He designed us for much more than simply copulating as animals do. God designed us to be capable of a union of minds, hearts, and souls, as well as of bodies.

It makes no sense for one to treat the other like dirt all week and then suddenly expect to get intimate. The true and authentic intimacy can only be honest, pure, and true when it has something to express and celebrate... the countless acts of selfless service and authentic caring and tenderness one for the other all through the week, day and night, attentive to each other, striving to fulfill the other's needs, appreciative of the other's caring service and attention to their children. Then it becomes much more than a brief physical climax, but a profound and lingering union of souls melting into one another. Then, after that intimacy, the husband and wife lie next to each other in silence, in rapt contemplation of the profound mystery into which they have been drawn, into a truly "Holy Communion" of persons, as holy as the Holy Communion with Jesus in his Body and Blood. That wife is touched by Jesus when her husband chastely embraces her without thought of grabbing pleasure for himself but entirely preoccupied with blessing her. That husband is touched by Jesus when his wife lovingly accepts his chaste embraces and he understands that Jesus is loving him through her warm presence and affectionate attachment to him....

                                                   Pax + Caritas,       Fr. Gilles

See below my previous post: How can we help our parents, especially when they grow old, as they suffer - and we suffer - because of their faults?

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Pope Francis, representing Jesus the Good Shepherd, is authorizing the giving of blessings even to those who are in "irregular situations" as individuals or as couples, but without it resembling a marriage ritual - Isn't this confusing? If confusing; to whom is it confusing?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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On December 18th, 2023, in an audience with Víctor Manuel Card. Fernández, Prefect, and Mons. Armando MATTEO, Secretary for the Doctrinal Section of the DICASTERY FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH, Pope Francis signed the following document in several languages: 

Declaration Fiducia Supplicans On the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings

        Now, people are wondering and sending me questions and statements about what this really means and how it will play out in reality among us flawed human beings. Here follows an email exchange I have been having with one such seeker of the truth, goodness, and beauty of God. My reply is followed by the seeker's commentary and questioning.

The document itself in ENGLISH.... and in FRENCH 

Home page of the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith 

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First of all, the best we can do is to prayerfully read the actual document itself. You will find links to the document in English and in French up above. 

My initial reply in this dialogue exchange and reflection.... 

We can be too quick to jump to conclusions and not take the time to understand what exactly is intended by these declarations and decisions by Pope Francis and the Vatican dicasteries.

What is a blessing?

I understand blessing first of all in its fundamental sense: to say good words. Jesus clearly expects us to do that unconditionally for anyone and everyone we meet, even enemies, and perhaps especially to enemies and those we may consider "unclean"; which is something Jesus reproached the Pharisees for refusing to do.

The spiritual dimension of a blessing

On a more spiritual or mystical level, to bless someone is to believe that when we do or say good to someone, God himself is the One who truly blesses. Every human being, even criminals, have a right to be blessed because God wants to bless them. A blessing is never an approval of sin, but aimed at the soul in order to lift it up closer to God.

In this particular case, people in irregular situations are already suffering to various degrees in their persons. The simple fact that they seek a blessing from the Church or from a priest, deacon, or bishop indicates that they in some true sense are calling out to the Lord. We have no grounds upon which to withhold a blessing from anyone who asks, no matter their condition. That is why Pope Francis keeps repeating that we should not subject them to exhaustive moral scrutiny and examination before even considering their request, or go so far as to subject them to a humiliating moral examination and judgment of their life and conditions as the Pharisees did. 

From the "ivory tower" and "glass castle" of their wealth, prestige, power, and authority; the Pharisees looked down upon people as "lesser human beings" and, for the most part, as "ritually unclean", that is, as not observing every last one of the 619 laws, rules, and prescriptions and interpretations of the commandments and prescriptions given by God to Moses for the people to observe in order to be righteous before God. 

Now, when a soul is asking for moral guidance or confession, well, that is clearly something else. Then we are certainly obliged to guide them through an examination of their conscience based on divine revelation and all that God wants them to know; so that they can adjust themselves and begin taking steps towards aligning themselves with God's will. They may not always be able to go the full distance all at once or even in their lifetime, but may be able to make progress over time, one step at a time. No one has any right to impose the full journey instantaneously on demand on anyone... the journey is intended by God to take a lifetime, whether that turns out to be long or short. No one has the right to insinuate themselves in between God and a soul... that territory belongs to God alone.

Blessings as sacraments

On a sacramental level, the blessing of couples as couples, especially in a ritual resembling marriage, can clearly only be given to a man and a woman, and even then, under the right circumstances and personal dispositions.

I find it sad when people at any level of status or condition in the Church react with great indignation to Pope Francis' determination to get the Church to stop being so judgmental, so Pharisaical, and turn around and become more pastoral in order to welcome people in their simple requests for a blessing. 

Jesus will one day return on the clouds as Judge to separate the sheep from the goats, but in the meantime, He presents Himself as the Good Shepherd. Every time Pope Francis calls on us to welcome people, regardless of their life situation, and in this case to give a blessing, he also makes it clear that for couples in irregular situations (still bound before God by a previous marriage, or both of the same gender, as in two men or two women, and so on), the blessing cannot resemble anything like a marriage ritual. He cannot make it clearer than that. 

We have no right to tell anyone that they don't belong and can't have access to God's blessing and mercy. Jesus keeps the door to Himself open, and no one has the right to slam it shut in anyone's face, no matter their condition or situation. Jesus made this clear to Sister Saint Faustina Kowalska when He made her the "Secretary of Divine Mercy" and told her how much his merciful love wants to pour itself out into souls; they have only to ask. 

However, none of us has the authority to change God's original plan for marriage and family. One husband married to one wife is God's ideal plan for the procreation and parenting of children. There is some wiggle room, as there was for Mary, who became pregnant with the Son of God by the action of the Holy Spirit. Joseph still married her, after the angel Gabriel told him the child was from the Holy Spirit, and he served Mary well as a good husband and Jesus as a "foster father". Joseph was the only earthly father that Jesus knew and loved. 

All this huffing and puffing by ecclesiastics and even lay people who take it on themselves to criticize and even condemn Pope Francis smacks of clericalism and moral superiority and is light years away from anything resembling humility; which is the only way to approach Almighty God. Such people show nothing but contempt for souls and the suffering of humanity and expose themselves as living in some kind of glass castle or ivory tower. They feel called to act as the great defenders of morality, the ten commandments, and the dignity of the Church and of God Himself, but they are deluded. 

God can and does take care of Himself and of his truth and doesn't need champions. It is enough for us to do as Jesus did and to teach and proclaim the truth, simply, and peacefully; letting people take it in and take the time they need to assimilate it and integrate it into their way of living and behaving towards others over their lifetime. Proclaiming the truth does not exempt us from the obligation to obey Jesus' command to love one another and to extend his mercy to others. 

It is wrong and might even be mortal sin to try to pound moral principles into people's hearts, minds, and souls as a complete package that they must absorb in its entirely NOW because WE DEMAND IT. Treating people this way objectifies them, reducing them to objects who must receive our demands. We then have no respect for the dignity God our Creator has given them as human beings. To make such declarations and demands with everyone on every occasion, every circumstance, at all times and in all places, is a pretence of moral righteousness. It puts obstacles in front of people as pre-conditions to receiving any and all services or blessings. This I believe is the entire point of Pope Francis' campaign to get the Church to become more pastoral, more welcoming, more humble like our Master the Good Shepherd; that is, to get out of the way of people seeking God and let them go to Him.

The Most Holy Trinity know in their infinite wisdom that human souls come only with great difficulty to the full knowledge, acceptance, and living of the truth, of goodness, and of beauty, and as St. Peter wrote in his letter, what appears to us as delay is God's patience shown to souls. He "wants none to perish, but all to come to repentance." Great will be the shock of those with rigid, judgmental minds when they draw their last breath and come into the overwhelming radiance of truth, goodness, beauty, justice, and mercy of the Love of the Most Holy Trinity. That first entry into God's Presence will be terribly embarrassing for many who are so convinced of their moral high ground in this life. That is why our merciful Father provides for the possibility of purification in Purgatory.... Thanks be to God for that. I will quite likely need it, and you may need it too. 

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The original query from a devout Catholic seeking clarity in these confusing times:

According to the latest document from the Vatican, under certain conditions couples in “irregular” (sinful?) situations and same-sex couples could receive blessings, provided these blessings don’t give the appearance of sacramental matrimony.

           Since the publication and promulgation of this document, cardinals, bishops, even entire episcopal conferences have stated that they will not implement such blessings.

           This brings to mind two approved apparitions and their prophecies – Fatima and Akita:

           From Fatima: Sr. Lucia of Fatima told Cardinal Carlo Caffarra that a "decisive battle between the kingdom of Christ and Satan will be over marriage and the family."

From Akita: On October 13, Mary then warned of the impending dangers for the Church.

"The work of the devil will infiltrate even into the Church in such a way that one will see cardinals opposing cardinals, bishops against bishops. The priests who venerate me will be scorned and opposed by their confreres...churches and altars sacked; the Church will be full of those who accept compromises and the demon will press many priests and consecrated souls to leave the service of the Lord.

           Folks – these prophecies have come true!

           Let us pray many rosaries of repentance and for the Holy Spirit to send us courageous cardinals, bishops, and priests who will lead us to our salvation by “preaching the Gospel in season and out of season”  (II Tim 4:2).

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Dialogue partner's reply to my response as above to the original quwry, eagerly seeking the truth and what is right and in accord with God's will:

Whatever is intended by Pope Francis in this or other writings/speeches he has made, there is almost always great confusion; his remarks, while well intentioned, can be taken many ways, and those include by enemies WITHIN the Church!  Lest we forget, Pope Paul VI had proclaimed that the smoke of Satan has entered the Church.

I’m absolutely sure that the Blessed Mother revealed the prophecies to Srs. Lucia and Agnes for our edification and salvation.  Well, here are the facts - cardinals and bishops ARE against each other; the issue of homosexuality has been in the background for a long time, including so-called “gay marriage”. Couples living together (“irregular situations”) without the sacrament of matrimony are living in sin. That is the teaching. It is the duty of every baptized Catholic to pray, regularly receive the sacraments, and encourage everyone to do the same. That is also the mission of the Church.

While the document takes great pains to differentiate a blessing from an endorsement of these “couples”, it is not clear what the purpose of this blessing is - a call to repentance?.../why people in such situations seek a blessing? Confusion!

Fatima and Akita are approved apparitions; the BVM does not lie! Sorry Gilles, but I strongly disagree. I continue to pray for all of the ordained.

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My further reply, also seeking God's will for us all: 

I frankly enjoy these dialogues with you, because you never lack for an expression of conviction. Still, on this Earth, I believe that none of us are capable of comprehending, let alone giving appropriate and just expression to, the complete and full wisdom of the Most Holy Trinity. The best we can do is mutter partialities, like the "ligue du vieux poêle" who make hockey commentaries fun.

The social upheaval of the 20th century

In our societies that were not devastated as were the "theatres of war" during WWII - there emerged a generalized selfishness due to the sudden prosperity of the 1950's, which we must remember was a result of society's mobilization for world war. This sudden prosperity creared a disparity between our society's values and the new "lifestyles of prosperity", which in turn caused a crisis in parenting. The new generations may not have understood it, but they observed the prosperity which came out of the business of killing people in war. 

We can understand how the young would have trouble with this disparity between responsible values their parents tried to pass on to them from the past and what they now saw as at times reckless living due to prosperity in the present. It would be untrue and unjust to shift the entire blame to these youth for becoming part of what is now seen as their irresponsible "teen age" demographic. These rapid changes were accompanied by the cultural, psychological, societal, and spiritual "explosion" of the 60's - this would include what is still called the "sexual revolution", which is ongoing today all over the world. 

All this upheaval ushered in what we could call a carefree abandon of morality and bold exploration of human boundaries inherent in civilized societies until then. Going beyond the boundaries, demolishing them, and substituting other values or even anti-values went on throughout the 70's, 80's, 90's and even until today. Many are those who have lost any bearing to the truth or any moral compass, and legion perhaps are those who never had the benefit of even hearing about a moral compass or direction, meaning, or purpose for their life.

The outbreak of scandals in the past three decades

However, much of what we have seen of scandalous sin in recent decades was already there to some degree, but was hypocritically hidden behind carefully starched collars and fine lace. Divine Providence has allowed the past century to happen for God's divine kind purposes. One reason people rebelled against the morality of their parents and society is because until then it had been imposed, without much room for questioning or understanding. You recall how in the 1950's we had to render our memorized catechism answers, complete with correct punctuation. Questions were not allowed, and understanding was deemed unnecessary. Only blind obedience was required. 

This entire approach to the education and formation of the young and of evangelization was wrong. God does not impose his will on us; that is not his way. The ways of the Lord are not our ways. Rather, his ways are more like the behaviour of the farmer who watches and waits for the crop to arise on its own. It is true that obedience is the highway to communion with the Most Holy Trinity, but God wants our obedience to be not blind, but freely and gladly given, and with increasing understanding. 

The authoritative Church past did not help people face life's challenges with free will 

In times past, the Magisterium behaved much like a hammer, and when you're a hammer, everything becomes a nail. For centuries, the documents emerging from councils were long lists of condemnations to hell. In Québec, if people have abandoned the Church, it is manifestly because for centuries the Church failed to mentor people toward love of God; failing to direct people to grow to moral maturity and learn to make their own right choices, attitudes, and behaviours, as well as works. For this to have happened, it would have been necessary for the Church to accept the risk that people would make mistakes, which God does with us.

When you apply unrelenting pressure, you prepare the way for an inevitable explosion. This is a law of nature. No matter what stance a pope takes, there will always be plenty of those around who will misinterpret and wreak havoc; which is the way of the enemy of humanity, ever ready to exploit us at our weakest point.

Thankfully, the landscape of the Church was not entirely bleak. There were some religious teachers and some pastors with greater maturity, autonomy of mind, understanding and wisdom of heart; who did in fact mentor other religious, pastors, and also parents. They taught them not only to understand the Word of God and the Church's teachings and Tradition, but also to apply the truth to life and to think and take responsibility for themselves. 

Reality is complex and we need to let Jesus be Lord 

As usual, this discourse cannot but go around in circles unless we admit that the reality is far more complex than can be delineated in a few paragraphs. For my part, I cling to the belief that the Lord Jesus is not on vacation, nor asleep; nor has he retired or quit. He remains Lord of Lords and King of Kings, but also the Good Shepherd. Both are true: God's divine justice and his divine mercy. His mercy is just and his justice is merciful. We cannot attempt to have one without the other.

One thing seems certain: there is no going back to a Church with which the Pharisees would have been most comfortable or would have admired - a Church wherein the "righteous" from on high in their ivory or glass towers and rich palaces condemn all the "unclean" - and see themselves as superior to the rest of humanity, "the great crowd of the unwashed". Jesus died to manifest the hollow emptiness of that attitude and approach, and I believe He will not tolerate his Church emulating or trying to go back to that hypocritical backwardness.

God wants all to be saved and we had best not hinder his efforts

Yes, Pope Francis is trying to convey to both clergy and laity alike, to unbelievers and atheists, and to all, that God is both just and merciful - that Marriage is only between one man and one woman for life in all fidelity and chastity - but that all those unable or unwilling to enter into that mode of living still remain children of God, whom He loves, and for whom Jesus died and rose again. Therefore, all can approach in their search for God and seek a blessing, or guidance, or confession, or Christian initiation. 

We may fool humans for a time, but no one can fool God 

If any attempt to approach with a false conscience or in a futile attempt to extract from the Church anything for which it has no authority to grant; then they may fool humans for a while, but they will never be able to fool God. When the ultimate and terrifying moment comes for us to find ourselves face to face with the Almighty, the Creator of the universe; then all pretense will fall away, and the soul will find itself irremediably naked before the Divine Scrutiny, which is both just and merciful. What will happen then will depend a lot on the soul's disposition. If it still refuses to bend to the Divine Will, it will opt for hell with all the rebellious angels and other human souls in that frame of conscience.

If it accepts to humbly bend to and make room for the Divine Will but is still too embarrassed to endure the intense and radiant Divine Love, it will opt to remove itself for a time from that blazing light and heat and find refuge in Purgatory; for as long as it takes for it to fully embrace the Divine Will, Truth and Goodness, Justice, Mercy, and Love.

For those who are already there, they will hear: "Beloved of my Father, enter into your divine inheritance. Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into your Master's Joy." 

As my lively dialogue partner has indicated, we had best pray to God - and ask our Blessed Mother Mary to intercede for us sinners, for all of humanity - so that we may all come to the knowledge and love of God. 

See 2 Peter 3:8-10; Ephesians 3:19-21; 4:13-16; 1 Timothy 2:1-6

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Controversy and confusion over Pope Francis & "Amoris Laetitia" Part 2 - In more personal settings and situations we need to show more compassion, wisdom, understanding, and counsel.

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Thanks to some good Catholic Christian friends I've had occasion to reflect on and discuss these matters at some length over time. Time actually is itself a gift from God and in the time in between our exchanges, upon further reflection, by the grace of God it occurred to me that our "fencing" over such matters might get closer to the target by taking a more concrete approach. Let's examine different scenarios or venues in which to apply these principles, or to put it differently, two primary modes for dialogue over God's revealed truth and his will: first, the classroom mode, and secondly, the confidential mode.

In the "classroom" mode or approach

In a classroom, regardless of setting or age of the learners, the professor or teacher is expected to not beat around the bush presenting the material, in this case, God's revealed truth and subsequently the Church's teaching on it, and so to be very clear about the material and also to present specific cases to illustrate the principles. The clearer and more direct the presentation, the more likely the participants may have reactions, questions, comments, and hence a good discussion may follow. Along the way, the teachers apply their skills to observe and check out whether or not the material is being properly assimilated. Depending on the class's responses and reactions, it may take more or less time for the whole group to take it all in. It is the teacher's responsibility to map out over time the presentation and assimilation of the entire segment of the material and to prepare the class for testing and for practical exercises.

In the "confidential" mode or approach

In a confessional or in a priest's cabinet or office or when a person confidentially approaches a priest for personal advice and counsel, the classroom approach might risk being perceived as a "dumping" of a whole lot of theory and stifling the person's ability to express their concern. If he is not careful, a young inexperienced and zealous priest, or even an older one, can "cut the person off and stop them in their tracks" by being too categorical too quickly, and demonstrating zero patience to allow the person the time to take it in and wrestle with it. Wrestling with God is one of the classic images of how God is ready and eager to relate to souls, as with Jacob who became Israel because of the wrestling, and as Jesus treated with his apostles and disciples.

What priests must quickly learn in their ministry is that most of the time, if not all of the time, when people approach us more formally in one of these or in similar settings, they initially put out a "feeler", i.e. a formulation of their concern that is a little more general, or apparently more theoretical. Whether they realize it or not, they are testing us, to see whether or not they can trust us, whether or not they can be safe with us, whether or not we will pour balm on their hurt or simply intensify the hurt by wounding them some more. People often already apprehend the truth, to some degree, and merely need to have it confirmed or clarified.

In the arena of conscience

People, or souls, are often already being disturbed by their conscience, and are often afraid that they are unable to accept or to take the full impact and brunt or burden of the truth or of God's will. In addition they often, as we all do, suffer under imperfect images or understanding of who God is, and the more fearsome, the worse it is for them. When people don't have  fear of the Lord but only terror instead, they tend to manifest a conscience that is more scrupulous.

On the other hand, when people have a false view of God as loving and adopt a falsely "familiar" attitude towards God as "buddy" or as a God who is "permissive"; then they run the great and dangerous risk of presumption, of taking God for granted and avoiding his judgement or justice. The more they live and act out of fear / terror, or out of presumption / permissiveness, the less likely are they to ever truly understand morality or relate truly to God or know his love and mercy and finally respond with gratitude, praise, and a return of love that goes out to others.

Often, before we can say anything to them about the matter of their concern, it is more urgent to treat their misguided, mistaken, erroneous, or incomplete images or understanding of who God is and of what are his ways. Knowing the Lord's ways, or how God treats souls, makes possible the true "fear of the Lord" and is the beginning of wisdom. Jeremiah reported in 31:31-34 God's promise that the time would come, and it came with Jesus, when the Lord would make a new covenant with his people and they would all know Him, from the greatest to the least, and they would not need to be instructed because the Lord would instruct them himself.

After the example of the "Good Shepherd"

So, what proves better is for the priest to be receptive and just listen at first. After the soul's initial outpouring of concern, some priests may then "lay down the law" as it were, lest the person continue to "stray" and get more completely lost. However, what proves more effective is a similar skill as that put into practice by the teacher observing and measuring assimilation of the material, that is, it is for the priest to initially, before spelling out the truth, asking the person to say what they understand to be God's will in the matter, or how much they know of the Church's teaching about the revelation and will of God.

Then the priest can see whether or not the person knows the truth and is simply having a hard time accepting it or putting it into practice, or whether the person is stumbling around in the dark for not knowing God's revealed truth on the matter or the Church's teaching of it. The wise and experienced priest, like the counselor or therapist, then leads the person one step at a time, and while so doing, observes whether or not the person is able to take that step in and consider it. If not, then the reason or obstacle becomes the next point of focus, and so on. As in the classroom, with the individual, couple, family or other group, the priest will observe how much they are able to take the truth in and consider it, and it will become more apparent how long they have been struggling (often their whole life) and how much time the process may take.

We have to remember here that it is not our place to "force open" or "stretch by force" the opening of the consciences and wills. That is God's job and the Holy Trinity are at work on it 24/7. Our part is to discern how much we can do at any one sitting and invite the person to continue then with the next step, and so on. Secondly, we are to do all we can to help the person(s) anticipate to be tested in real time by the events of life and also by the Lord. Our role, like the role of every Christian to "walk with others in their faith journey", is to encourage souls and to learn the Lord's ways, to discover what the Lord is like, and to "Be a man and accept the Lord's discipline...." says 1 Kings 2

In a more casual setting such as before or after Mass or a coincidental encounter in public or other such "bumping into" each other, when a person puts an ethical or moral question to a priest, once again the priest must realize that just as in the more formal settings, people initially "test" us to see whether or not they can trust us not to hurt them, not to "rape" or "violence" them with the truth, wielding it like a club to subdue them or to impress it upon them and "control" their conscience, or contrarily, whether we will manifest respect for their conscience, i.e., whether we will respond in the knowledge that in the end it is for them to decide and to act in conscience before the Lord. God alone is competent to judge souls because He alone knows them better than we know ourselves.

People want to know that we will "release" them into the Lord's hands and allow them to conduct themselves upon the knowledge of the truth, just as parents do when they send their children out to go to school or to other activities out in the world. God trust us even to the point of allowing us to get it wrong, to makes mistakes, and to learn from them. In God's school we always have the option of learning the "easy" way and the "hard" way.

In conclusion, let us follow Jesus in his shepherd Pope Francis

In conclusion, then, I believe that a primary reason for the persisting confusion in public discourse over Pope Francis' "Post Synodal Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia" is that most participants in the public debate are functioning in the "classroom mode", whereas Pope Francis is appealing to both pastors and souls to leave the "classroom mode" to those other settings of learning, and instead, to pay closer attention to the "confidential mode".

Pope Francis gave the universal Church - with the conviction that Almighty God ardently desired it for his Church - the Jubilee Year of Mercy precisely due to the urgency of leading the Lord's flock away from "terror" of the Lord or excessive and false "familiarity" with the Lord and, instead, to real experience of the Lord and both just (and so confessing to Him) and merciful (and so approaching Him in his priests without fear).

Pope Francis from his very first days as Bishop of Rome has been continually, energetically, and confidently exhorting pastors to show mercy through hospitality of spirit, kindness, understanding, patience, generosity, and gentleness; while simultaneously exhorting souls to practice greater trust in the Lord and confidence in his mercy and in his presence and power at work in his priests, and to approach God through priests and other people exercising pastoral ministry without fear.

The longer those engaged in this debate continue to avoid discerning the difference between these two modes, approaches, or objectives - the "classroom mode" and the "confidential mode" - the greater, thicker, deeper, and more destructive will the confusion become. That is what I have been trying to elucidate all along through my stumbling and bumbling comments and reflections; so thank you dear friends in the Lord, for granting me the venue and opportunity to clarify my thought.

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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You don't need adrenaline rushes and extreme sports to feel alive. What a ride it is just really being a Christian, and even more so a R.C. priest!

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Relevant links added March 22nd, 2021. March 7th, 2005 I noticed and wanted to publicize a "March for Marriage" taking place at the time to raise the profile on traditional Marriage. Over the years this subject has taken on wide-ranging ramifications as new issues have arisen.

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National Organization for Marriage - March for Marriage - Thousands and thousands of marriage supporters as well as over 40 co-sponsoring organizations joined NOM’s March for Marriage in Washington, D.C., which took place the same day as the Supreme Court heard arguments in the Proposition 8 case.
CNA - Catholic News Agency - March for Marriage - Latest News 
‘March for Marriage’ rally reflects steadfast opposition to gay marriage among evangelical ChristiansBY DAVID MASCI     JUNE 19, 2014At a time when polls show a growing number of Americans favor same-sex marriage, a coalition of groups opposing gay marriage are holding a “March for Marriage” today in Washington, D.C., to demonstrate what organizers call a “deep and wide support for the definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman,” according to National Organization for Marriage president Brian Brown.

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I can't believe it's already been 2 months since my last post... and I thought that I "was back". Well, I was back from a wonderful sabbatical experience in Chicago, and back into the amazing adventure of pastoring a parish here in the Archdiocese of Montreal. There is so much to engross a pastor and completely fill his time. I mean, everyday I awaken to life as a Christian, let alone to that of still being a pastor in a parish full of vitality and activity, where people gather to be strengthened weekly or even daily on their pilgrimage to the "Lord's House" and their life as Catholic Christians in the world. 

As Christians, we observe and bump into so much that is not true, evil, or ugly, in life around us and even within us, and we are to refuse no battle. However, we have limits and at times must learn to choose our battles, or engage in those in which it is clear that we must. We ever seek the Lord's guidance, and He most often speaks to us through our loved ones, those to whom we have committed ourselves in a loving relationship, or one of caring and responsibility. Our God is ever helping us to be the best child, sibling, spouse, parent, godparent, friend, employee, or employer that we can be. We give glory to God by doing even small things well, with excellence, and with great love. 

The thread that runs through my previous recent blogs going back to the sabbatical experience in Chicago last Fall continues to occupy me daily. Every day, what is of the utmost importance is that I remain awake and relate in a lively way to our Beloved "tri-personal God", in whom I can also remain awake, attentive, and available to others, my neighbor, in my personal family and in the family of faith, in which I live out my Christian calling as a father, a shepherd, in the Lord to his people. 

As a priest, I certainly don't need to do extreme sports or drugs in order to have the impression that I'm still alive. I do find it odd that so many today need to ride the edge of death in order to feel even a bit alive or to get a rush of adrenaline in order to feel they're not dead yet. It's a sad and dangerous thing to allow oneself to become so desensitized by the brash noise and strident posturing of the fringes of our culture that ordinary living seems somehow unreal to people. 

It's becoming increasingly true for many that if they could see themselves on T.V. they would finally know that they are alive and that their life is real or worth living, because all through the day, as they are actually living their life, they do not feel alive, or their life doesn't seem real or of value to them. 

I am in the thick of my own "reality show" every moment... most especially when I come before the Lord to entertain his marvelous presence and be entertained by Him - which is what prayer is about - and when I go to people or receive them here in my office or in church, but also when I am alone with my thoughts and a wave of new thoughts comes in like the new tide, and I just know that some of these are a gift from the Lord, shedding so much light on many things. 

I shared a wonderful moment of fraternity with a close priest friend today... we chatted and shared what's happening in our lives, then we prayed together, had some breakfast, and then went out into the arctic cold and did some cross-country skiing for an hour and a half, came back chatting, and had some lunch together, before going our separate ways. Because we share the great adventure of the priesthood, we once again reflected very deeply on what we are going through, what we see the Lord doing for his people through us, and where the tide of God's grace seems to be leading us. 

Once again, it was my great privilege this weekend to hear the confessions of many, older and younger, and witness the faith journey of those for whom our Beloved Jesus suffered and died, that they too might have eternal life at the heart of God, beginning even now, and lasting into eternity. We live in a culture indifferent to hostile towards God and the values He has given us to live, and we really need to "be astute or cunning as serpents and innocent as doves" in order to realize what's going on in the world and not be taken in by the lies and deceit, the lust and the greed, and the power games. 

I continue to work on my research project on pastoring in the parish setting, and have also written some reflections on intimacy in married couples and prayer for them and engaged couples. I am still learning to "upload" documents to my website so I can link them to his blog. I'm not as fast as the younger generation, but with time I know I will be able to do this. It's a wonderful thing to be involved in this new mode of "instant publishing". 

In addition to the ongoing seasons and tasks required in the preparation of the Sunday Liturgy, faith education for all ages, sacramental ministry, and personal guidance, there is the oversight of the various ministries and ongoing renewal of leadership, as people eventually leave one thing to do another or spend more time with their families. As well, as we approach my final year as pastor, it will be both useful and necessary to call the faith community into a spiritual exercise of good discipleship by reflecting on and giving an account of our stewardship as members of this Parish and in the various roles we have each undertaken. 

These reflections and reports will become a historical record which will compose an ongoing Parish History. Our webmaster can already see interesting possibilities for posting elements of our history and activity on the web. So many things... important and exciting activity... Like I said, I don't need to take anything to know that I'm alive. Just being a priest and trying to do my best with God as my partner is an incredible ride! Reality in spades! 

To be continued....

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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"Unmasking the demon" lurking behind the T.V. especially late at night - a Christmas grace.

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Christmas is a time of great grace for anyone willing to receive the inner, spiritual gifts. What follows, and it was to be continued, is the reflection of a diocesan priest shortly after his return from sabbatical on what "the demons" that plague all of humanity looked like in his particular experience. It is one of the signs that the Child born in the manger of Bethlehem's shepherds' fields 2000 years or so ago truly is the Son of God that simply observing the festival of his birth brings fresh freedom to those who look to Him with hope. 

May this account open up the window of your own human journey and struggle with "the dark side" and help you enter resolutely deeper into the light! As Sam said to Rosie at the end of "The Return of the King", volume 3 of The Lord of the Rings, I too can draw a breath tonight and say, "I'm back." Sam had accompanied Frodo on his last journey, the one which led him away from Middle Earth to the eternal realm of the elves, the "undying lands" of Eressea and Valinor. The Elves, the Eldar, left Middle Earth when they had a sense that they had accomplished all they could for Middle Earth and its peoples, or else when they felt they could do nothing more in defense against the evils overtaking the world. 

For my part, I have come back from a sabbatical time - and liken it to a long stay in Rivendell, or better yet, Lothlorien. It isn't so much that the people I left behind were so mortal and flawed or that the people with whom I stayed in Chicago were perfect and other worldly like elves or angels. No, it was more like I found a refuge among good and kindly people, in whom there was sufficient selflessness and where I found sufficient distance from all the constraints of the intensive life of pastoral charity and from the long breathlessness of life's journey to remember who I am, that I am loved, what road I find myself travelling in the great pilgrimage of life, and what are the most important things for which I most desire, in Jesus, to spend the time and energy that are given to me as a gift, day by day, by our heavenly Father. 

As I sit here tonight and sense rising within me a full hearted "I'm back!" reverberating in my chest, it's perhaps because the grace of Christmas has overtaken me at last. There were, after all, 12 days of Christmas in the secular world of old, from Christmas to Epiphany, and today our Church kindly extends the Christmas season to the Solemnity of the Baptism of the Lord, so I'm riding on the "extension" of those 12 days - today is actually the 15th day of Christmas. 

Sadly, the secular world today has lost considerable ground since the time of the secular society of Charles Dickens' day, the world of Ebenezer Scrooge. My own experience this Christmas certainly speaks eloquently of our mortal need for patience, to "wait for the grace" as it were. To understand what I'm talking about, let me review briefly the sequence of events as I have lived them these past few months, with a thumbnail view of the past. 

When I first came to Becket, I left behind a considerably smaller congregation, but a wonderful people among whom I found a more wholesome life and a closer relationship with God. The very satisfying balance of life and routine I had come to know was all blown away by the greater intensity and activity of Becket. In addition, there were complications, and in response to these I applied myself to many practical things, such as 

1. responding to immediate needs and duties of the pastoral ministry, 
2. getting to know people and listening to their stories, heartaches, and hopes, 
3. applying myself to the consecration of the Church and Altar on the occasion of the 30th anniversary in 1996, 
4. supporting the initiative of parishioners and the development of the Alpha Course from 1997 on, 
5. participating in the formation of young men for the priesthood (Fr. Robert and Fr. Stephen), 
6. leading the Parish Think Tank and Pastoral Action Plan, 
7. reviving and saving Becket's Fania project in Honduras and 
8. World Youth Day in 2002, 
9. more fully sharing authority for administration with members of the Parish, and 
10. developing our understanding of and willingness for Discipleship and Stewardship. 

What I thought I had before I came to Becket was an openness and listening to the Lord for what He is doing and wants to do, and by extension, what He wants me and us to do. In the whirlwind of activity, questioning, challenging, rich diversity of views, needs, talents and gifts, and of initiatives here at Becket - not to mention the difficult transition of the early 90's - I got so caught up in need to do so much stuff that I quite lost that stance of listening to and waiting on the Lord; without which life is hell, basically. Hell is being trapped in a burning fire but not being able to get oneself out of it, and I suppose not even having the desire to get out. 

Actually, the real hell is also filled with anger and blaming of God in an attempt to escape accepting one's own responsibility for failures and sin. I give thanks to God that I never slid into actual Hell; however, I was caught in a trap. The intensity of life, activity, needs, pastoral ministry, planning for the near and distant future, social changes (Catholic schools), the neverending revolving door of lay leadership in the various groups and ministries, and much more.... all added up to a life that barely had time to think, let alone stand back to see the bigger picture. 

Well, it's 11:19 on Saturday night, and part of my sabbatical grace is the renewed freedom to get real, get a life, hear and listen to the Lord, and pay attention to the body; so I must ask you to stay tuned for the next installment. However, not to leave you hanging too much, let me just say a few things more. In the title, I mentioned something about "unmasking the demon" and the grace of freedom to talk openly of the obvious. 

Well, the obvious was that since before I came to Becket, I had begun to struggle with staying up late watching TV, and for the reasons given above, my condition just became worse after 1994. All along, I was patiently (this means in suffering and endurance by God's grace) praying and waiting for the power of God to draw me out of the "pit." It just didn't seem to be happening, though there were moments of grace, relief, and some progress. But I didn't understand what was happening to me, or within. 

It took this sabbatical grace for the Lord to draw me up, and tonight is the first time I find within me the leisure of spirit to allow some of that grace to tumble out into the light of day. It would be too long to delve into it, but until next time let me just say, that between December 2003 and these days of Christmas 2004-2005, what has come into the light of day is that in my vocation as priest I have been - in the words of Archbishop Paul Cardinal Gregoire who ordained me - "like welded to Christ". 

The heart of Christ agonizes still in the sufferings of each and every member of his Mystical Body, all the baptized; yet He also rejoices in the love of his Father. I too have felt both states in myself, but was mostly at a loss about where to start each day. There was just too much "stuff" and I wasn't praying enough, not listening enough to the Spirit speaking within me.... 

The first grace of the sabbatical was simply to leave, to get out of the rut, to go away, where I could more easily see the bad habits I had acquired and the turmoil of soul which deprived me of the peace and joy I had once known. The sabbatical time was just long enough for this process to open up and for the Spirit to plunge his light and truth and healing love deep within me. I have returned with the conviction that I don't ever want to go back to the way it was, that I can't live without the Lord and spending a lot of time contemplating his love and beauty, and that my soul deeply desires to spend more time with people, with the Lord's "lambs".... walking among them, leading them, caring for and pasturing them. 

This Noel finds me filled with joy and delight in the great gift of the Father who has sent us Jesus his Son, Emmanuel, who has come to dwell among us and within us. In his great light, all the demons are exposed for what they are, and I can now name the one which oppressed me for too long. It has many faces and many names: fear of not being able to do what is right, feeling sorry for myself, feeling excessively responsible, not asking for help or knowing how, the misery of those poor who grow up without all of life's skills, at the root - pride - and sloth, which is failing to act prudently or do at any moment the most important thing, which always begins with acknowledging God and turning to Him. Time to prudently act on the sabbatical grace welling up within me and simply pray a bit before the Lord, and go to be. Goodnight. to be continued....

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Jesus the spiritual teacher opens our mind to the spirit realm, away from the traffic of the senses - "Spiritual Development and the Gospel Narratives 8" by John Shea

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Our professor John Shea explained to the class that, like Jesus, we too must practice spiritual disciplines, if we are to become conscious of the presence of God all around us and in creation, as well as within us. Moreover, because our mind tends not to be spiritual and to go with all that we take in through our senses, spiritual disciplines and pondering the Word of God draws our mind beyond the limited vision and realities of the physical world in order to catch a glimpse of the "bigger picture". One such spiritual discipline is the practice of meditation, or of stilling the body, the mind, and the heart, so that we can find our way within to the place of our soul or spirit, which has been created by God with a capacity to be in union with Him.

To become conscious of my inner self, and get out of the heavy traffic of the senses, I pull in my consciousness and immediately become aware of my body in a way I wasn’t until now; so I may suddenly realize I have an ache in my leg, or that I am cold, and so on. I acknowledge the body - make any necessary adjustments to my posture to put the body at ease so it won't need to continue to seek my conscious attention - and pull my consciousness in further, and become aware of the mind, whose every thought wants me to identify with it, give it my full attention, or resist it.

I do none of that, but acknowledge each thought, and then simply let it go, and pull in further to the place between my thinking apparatus and my deep inner self, where there is contact between my spirit and the Spirit of God. Now this sounds simple, and in reality it really is, but it is not so easy to actually do. That's why it is called a spiritual discipline, requiring steady efforts to do it, without much regard for success or failure, but just to do it and be there, with trust that God is faithful and always keeps his appointments. Whether or not we actually sense anything go on within us really doesn't matter, since the Scriptures make it clear that God prefers to come in a silence and stillness in which we cannot lay hold of Him or manipulate Him the way we tend to do with things and people in the physical world. God is great and will not be used by us. He is sovereign and decides what is best for us. He loves us too much to allow us to sink into the illusion of  manipulating or having any "control" over Him. Seeking or taking control shuts down freedom, relationship, and any possibility of love. 

Normally, the mind wants to take hold of such a spiritual discipline and control everything about it in the same way it controls much of what we do all day long, with thoughts about what to do to prepare, what to do during, and what to do after, and more thoughts on how things seem to be progressing. None of that is relevant in the realm of the spirit. Whatever God wants us to know He will allow to stay with us afterwards as a lingering impression that won't go away. That is one way we can know what was real and from God, by what lingers persistently and remains for us to notice. Some of that may still be just from our own mind, heart, psyche, or body; so we need to learn and we can learn to distinguish where each thought, sentiment, or impression really comes from over time.

As I try to enter into this meditation and try to be still, the mind lets me release its many thoughts that come to me by the Word of God that I take in, which gives the mind truths to consider that capture its interest and stimulate it to open itself to more depth and abundance that it will find within, in the realm of spirit. As I employ this discipline regularly my mind opens more readily to my own spirit within, where it can draw Living Waters from the deep wells of Spirit within, as Jesus told the Samaritan woman He met at Jacob's well.

The Pharisees exemplify people with minds closed to spirit. They are so identified with closed worldly thoughts of fear, insecurity, competition, influence, keeping records of sins and wrongs, and of course domination, that they cannot open themselves to the Spirit. Jesus calls their attention to their thoughts and offers them a more helpful set of thoughts. Much of our pain is self-inflicted from the deadly thoughts to which we give our whole attention, such as all the many considerations around providing a life for ourselves and our families, and all that is within us concerned about how we are doing or what people think of us, and so on. Spiritual teachers always situate themselves in tension with the person, to intrigue, shock, or cajole the mind to give its attention instead to a spiritual set of thoughts capable of drawing the mind inwards to the spirit place, whence it might draw from the wellsprings of spirit and life. The spiritual teacher Jesus doesn’t focus on what a person says, but on the person itself, and is always trying to open the mind to the spirit within.

Jesus knows what is happening, when we are into “mob think” and caught up in shallow worldly ways of self-sufficiency, power, initiative, competition, and domination. Jesus hears our unproductive thoughts and calls us beyond that limited mind (meta-noia) into the “game” of repentance and life. He acknowledges our painful situation or struggle and calls us to go beyond it into mission and bear fruit. Jesus cursed the fig tree without fruit and it withered, even though it wasn’t the season for fruit, to get everyone's attention with a clear statement that He, Jesus, is the gardener and also the season for fruit – with Jesus, the time to bear fruit is always now, today. He digs up our roots to manure them, but we must be aware that our time for bearing fruit is limited – we don’t have unlimited time - we need to wake up now to what the Spirit is saying to us in the depths of our soul.

There is only so much space in our consciousness; speculation, idle amazement, chronic worry about life or excessive fear block out thoughts that can lead to conversion and openness to spirit. As spiritual teacher, Jesus tries to wake us up, using whatever we are experiencing: troubles, illness, or even death, to supplant unproductive, closed minded worldly thoughts with productive, open minded spiritual ones. It's not that the world is bad, after all, it is God's own creation and handiwork. It's simply that there is the realm of spirit that suffuses and radiates from within all that God the Father sustains in being, and He has created us with an inner capacity to recognize the inner spiritual radiance of his presence in all creatures. St. Francis of Assisi was sensitive to this presence of God in creatures and called them "Sister" and "Brother".

Spiritual teachers either love the teaching and give it to us, or else they love us and set the conditions for us to discover the teaching for ourselves – Jesus uses both tracks. In this way we can understand Jesus’ “dueling of words” in the Gospels, especially with the Pharisees, at the service of waking people’s consciousness to truth and to his guidance to life in the Spirit. He draws us away from our inner web of anxious thoughts in the project of survival towards faith in our Father's love and confidence that God cares for us, notwithstanding the sensory “evidence” to the contrary, erroneously filling us with thoughts like "It's a jungle out there. It's every man for himself."

God is always present, the Spirit / wind always blowing, but we have to put up our sails to catch it. The open sail is deliberate, trusting prayer. In Matthew, prayer isn’t telling God our needs, since He already knows even more than we do about what we need, but consciousness of God’s graciousness. We draw our mind away from tomorrow thinking by meditating on the gift of being alive today, now. In God we draw from a fullness of abundance - the divine abundance that gives meaning and purpose to our spirit - even in the midst of poverty, pain, mourning or persecution; as Jesus taught in the "beatitudes" portion of his sermon on the mount. It is only by receiving from this abundance that we can engage in Christian ministry, because the ministry Jesus began and then entrusted to his disciples to carry on is a ministry drawing from the abundance of the Father's love for his children.

The spiritual teacher frees us from the domination and tyranny of our senses, which keep insisting that we are separate beings and that life is a competition for limited resources. As our spiritual teacher, Jesus shows us how to glide - buoyed up by grace like the swan once it hobbles off the land into the water - by freely choosing to waddle with difficulty off the land into the water of God's presence all around us.

Today is the time of beginning again, and we can recommit ourselves to the practice of various useful Christian disciplines like (1) observing the Lord’s Day as a Sabbath rest and celebration and letting this rest filter into each day, month, and year; (2) stopping the impulse to possess by actively receiving spirit from Jesus and practicing fasting and almsgiving; and (3) practicing meditation and prayer to seek the Spirit within, to be drawn where the Spirit wills, and to draw from the font of Living Water.

to be continued....

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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