My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.
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What do you do when one of your parents, especially in a situation where they are separated and divorced, enters into an "affair" or illicit relationship with another person, a situation which at face value at least very much resembles adultery?
There are people who want advice and those who don't, those who look to be guided by authorities greater than themselves and others who are allergic to authorities and want only to follow their own heart, mind, conscience. The problem is original sin, which causes us to delude ourselves, and makes our own hearts unreliable as guides. We need God, we need others, we need to repent as Jesus said in order to welcome and believe the good news.
Your Mom is your Mom, not your daughter, and if it's your Dad, then he too is your Dad and not your son. You are not responsible for him or her, but of course you do care for them. St Monica was not able to tell her son Augustine what to do because he wasn't looking to her for advice; he was trying to find his own way. So she prayed for him, suffered and wept, and prayer some more, fasted, and kept on praying for years....
The only thing the commandments tell us to do with our parents is honor them. You can continue to honor your Mom and Dad for giving you life, and caring for you all those years, but you don't have to approve of their behaviour. You need to have pity for them and have mercy on them in their current state of weakness, confusion, or disorientation, and pray for them.
You know that we must all grow up sooner or later, and for many, it is later. Those who went from childhood straight into adulthood, having children and raising them, never got to fully grow up and discover for themselves the truth of all that they were told by their elders. That is why we find more frequently today the odd situation of "elderly adolescents" or "senior teenagers" who are of retirement age or older but behaving not unlike teenagers, doing strange things, acting as though they suddenly had no conscience, and so on.
It's not all bad news.... By the grace of God they will discover the hard way, if not the proper way, what's true and what's false, what's good and what's evil, and may come around to having room within them to consider what God wants of them....
Just as parents must be patient with their teenagers, so must we be patient at times with our parents, since God is patient with all of us, so that we might in time repent and come back to Him with all our hearts....
Suivons Jésus Christ, Lui donnant la 1ère place en 2010 !
Let us follow Jesus Christ, giving Him 1st place in 2010!
PAX + CARITAS Year for Priests – Année Sacerdotale
L'abbé / Fr. Gilles
© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
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And, too, conscience has come to have an odd meaning in some circles. If we feel "good," then we think it is our "conscience" telling us that we ARE good. I think we can get easily fooled by "having a good conscience" about things. I have seen people wave away the most unconscionable things by saying that their conscience is clear. Who are WE to say that OUR conscience is clear. It seems to me that we need to examine our conscience in the light of God's commandments and to allow God to determine whether our conscience should be clear -- or not.
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