How can we help our parents, especially when they grow old, as they suffer - and we suffer - because of their faults?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Dear caring daughter or son of an aging parent,

How do I know that you care about your aging parent? It is simply because you are taking the time to read this post.

Christ is risen, alleluia!

I'm so happy to know that you are reading this probably because you care about your aging parent(s). Your relationship with an aging parent or parents may in fact be difficult, unpleasant, or even painful. The good news is that you still care! Even whatever trouble may be happening between you and your aging parent(s) may in fact be good news; not because we should enjoy pain, but because of the ways of the Lord with us. After you read all this, I think you may agree that what is happening is good news. 

God is good... all the time... and all the time... God is good!

I hope and pray for you that otherwise all is well with you. All is well with me too despite the trials of life, and often, because of these trials... God has been giving me some amazing graces after two and a half years of doing the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola.... 

The Madonna House Apostolate

Recently, I really enjoyed spending three weeks at Madonna House Apostolate Training Center in Combermere ON, which included Holy Week and the Easter Octave. You would really love the faith community there. Are you single or married? If married, your spouse would probably enjoy the experience as well. Guests are called "working guests" because MHA accepts donations but charges no fee, whether people stay for a week, a month, or a year, and they do expect all lay men and women guests to participate fully in the life of the community - prayers, meals, manual labour, Holy Mass, and recreation.... Guests sleep in dormitories for women or for men. Priest guests, especially elders, are a bit more free to do manual labour or not because they know how much priests are exhausted when they come and are very much in need of a rest.

It is good to harbour feelings of gratitude and give thanks to God our Creator

I join you in giving thanks to God for the wonderful graces and progress with which the Lord has been blessing you in your life. How do I know this? It is unlikely that you would be reading this if it were otherwise. Even the most difficult and painful, lonely human existence has blessings, most of which we don't even realize or notice. It has taken me over forty years to realize such blessings as my heart beating and my lungs breathing, over which I have no control at all. 

How wonderful it is the way Almighty God is so patient with us, so careful not to do damage to our free will, which is why God is being so patient with your aging parent(s). It is wonderful that you are now trying to love your aging parent(s) in accord with their needs, and now the Lord will help you to love your aging parent(s) the way they need to be loved, which may not the way you have been trying to do it. Don't beat yourself up about this, though, because we all fall into this trap; trying to change our parents. It's called the "role reversal trap" when children try to behave as parents towards their own parents, especially when they become old or older. God has given us wisdom about this in the Old Testament book of Sirach chapter 3.

We are not on Earth to find happiness. Oh, really?!?

We are not on Earth to find happiness, because this is something that the Most Holy Trinity is preparing for us in eternity. We are on Earth to become saints, and the only way to become a saint is to walk in the steps of Jesus and accept the Holy Spirit's guidance to live as Jesus did. This of necessity includes accepting freely and gladly carrying the cross of suffering that life brings us, either in our own life, or because of our love for others. You may find this hard to believe, but Jesus really wants to help you become a saint, like all the saints now in Heaven! Jesus will do this through the ordinary events of your life.

The "ways of the Lord"

We are all learning "the ways of the Lord" and his patience is something we generally find difficult to accept, especially when it comes to other people in our lives. We have the impression we know what they need, and we try to tell them what to do, but this generally doesn't work. If anything, the more we persist in "nagging at them", the more likely it is that they will "harden" their views and "dig in their heels". It's human nature.

We mostly don't realize it, but God is "at work" within us, in our lives

This may be a new stage in your life now. Whenever we turn aside from any form of bad habit, evil behaviour, or sin, such as when we accept to live in the grace of chastity, the Holy Spirit cleanses the eyes of our mind, heart, and soul, and we begin to see more clearly and to see as God sees. We will need all eternity to approach the wisdom and love that is in the Most Holy Trinity, but rejoice and be glad that the Holy Spirit now seems to be leading you on this path. You can know this, because Jesus is sharing with you his Sacred Heart. His Sacred Heart suffers, even though his humanity is risen from the dead and now immortal in Heaven, because He FEELS our sufferings as though they are his own. This is what perfect love does.

So, Jesus is now inviting you to accept to endure the suffering you see in your aging parent(s), simply to accept to suffer what they are suffering, without trying to change them in any way.  This is how God behaves towards us, but Jesus also prays to the Father, interceding for us in eternity. Romans 8:34 Jesus ever lives to intercede for us with his Father. Hebrews 7:25

Honouring our parents may be the most difficult commandment to observe....

As your parents' child, you owe your aging parent(s) respect and love, according to the 4th commandment in Exodus 20:12: "Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you." On this depends the possibility for you to live well and long in the land. These are the ways of the Lord which He wants us to respect so that we can then receive his abundant blessings. Even if your aging parent(s) were terrible criminals, you would still owe them respect and need to honour them for having participated with God our Creator in giving you life. The more your aging parent(s) have in addition to this done good things for you, then you need all the more to honour and respect them and love them. Jesus will help you to love your aging parent(s) as Jesus and the Father and the Holy Spirit love you.

The difficult temptation to treat our aging parents as though they were children

It is not your place in life to reform your aging parent(s). They must do that for themselves, just as you are now doing it for yourself, with the grace of God. You will have peace about your aging parent(s)'s troubles once you adopt Jesus' own attitude of trust in the Father on behalf of your earthly parents and join Jesus in interceding for them. You can do this by offering what you suffer on your aging parent(s)'s behalf at every Mass, putting your offering of yourself with your aging parent(s) on the altar with the bread and wine.

The liberating Christian practice of "becoming a living sacrifice"

Day by day, every time you suffer something with or because of your aging parent(s), every time immediately intercede for them, talk to our Heavenly Father about it, ask Jesus to have mercy on your aging parent(s), and join Jesus in praying for your aging parent(s). You can offer the Divine Mercy Chaplet for your aging parent(s); it only takes a few minutes. Every big or little thing willingly endured out of love... every prayer... every gesture of kindness... is an agreeable offering to God, and this regular practice makes us into a "living sacrifice pleasing to God" according to Saint Paul in his Letter to the Romans 12:1.

You can fast and offer penances to God on behalf of your aging parent(s), but offering your participation at Holy Mass is the most powerful thing you can do for them. Know that your personal prayers, fasts, and penances you offer for your aging parent(s) are the most powerful acts you can make on their behalf.

In time, when they are ready, your aging parent(s) will also experience the graces you now enjoy, and they too will learn to put their trust in God instead of in earthly things.

Peace to you and your family. Through the communion of saints, I am glad to join you in praying for your aging parent(s).

Remember to ask our Blessed Mother Mary, Queen of Peace, to also join you in praying for your aging parent(s). "Mother Mary, pray for us. Thank you, Mother Mary." "Saint Joseph, just man and foster father of Jesus our Saviour, pray for us."

Christ is risen, alleluia!

                                                   Pax + Caritas,       Fr. Gilles

    

                      Fr. Gilles A. Surprenant – Associate Priest of the Madonna House Apostolate

 

                         "Were not our hearts burning within us as He talked to us on the road

                                              and explained the Scriptures to us?"  Luke 24:32

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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When we die... what happens to us then? Why do we pray for the dead?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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There is life after death... but what is it like?

Most Christians believe in eternal life... it's right there in the Creed we all accept

As Catholic and Orthodox Christians, as well as the various "Protestant, Evangelical, Baptist, or Pentecostal" denominations; we all believe that human life continues beyond death into eternity with God or away from God. Our eternal destiny depends a great deal on our own will, on whether or not we are willing to accept God's love, and to accept his love on his terms.

Catholic and Orthodox and some other Christians pray for the dead. Why do we do it?

It is an indication of this faith in the eternal life that God wants to give us that we pray for the dead. Why do we pray for the dead? It's just in case they might have a little bit of "unfinished business" to attend to... any hesitation to let themselves be embraced by God's brilliant and intense love... so our prayers and offerings of Holy Mass are an encouragement and spiritual help for them. If they don't need it, then of course they will simply pass it on to some other poor soul who needs it.

What happens to us when we die remains mysterious... some don't believe in anything

What prompts me to write is the awesome mystery of what happens to us when our spirit leaves behind our mortal body, much as we put aside our clothing when we prepare for sleep at night. Over the years I've been disturbed to discover that many people don't really believe that anything happens to us when we die or understand it, or if they do, they don't much know what to do about it. Equally serious is the fact that people not only consider ending their life prematurely, before their natural time to die, but in some cases actually take measures to end their life of have someone end it for them.

Our dubious distinction: Canada leads the way in expanding "MAiD"... i.e. medical suicide

Canada is now almost leading the world in extending "MAiD" - medical aid in dying - to almost anyone who wants it. It began with allowing it for people just about at the end of their life anyway but who are in great pain or suffering, physically, or psychologically, or both. Gradually, the barriers have been pushed further and further back, until it is conceivable that one day anyone will be able to ask to be killed just because they are tired of living. This is pretty scary....

Asking for MAiD is mostly an indication they feel that no one really cares for them

What is truly sad and tragic is that, in all likelihood, most of those who have asked for MAiD, or who are planning to do so, probably wouldn't do it if they knew that someone cared for them, and that their condition is not a burden others are unwilling to bear with them; in solidarity with them out of love. We all need to be reassured at times that we are loved; this is our human condition, to be uncertain. 

I suppose if I am miserable to everybody during my lifetime, there may not be anybody willing to show me that they care for me when I become terminally or seriously ill. Still, a truly loving person may still show that they care even for a miserable, grouchy, uncaring, hard-hearted person. Some people truly are that loving; their life is so full of love, that they have to pour it out on others. 

"Killing people off" may already be a covert economic strategy!

What is truly evil and may actually be criminal is the possibility that health care institutions may look upon killing people as economically advantageous... to get rid of people who are suffering and lingering in order to free up their bed and room in the hospital or other institution. 

A few thoughts that may help....

I don't know how you were raised - with faith or not - or what kind of life you have lived, or what sort of challenges you have faced, what pain and suffering you have endured, but still, it won't hurt for me to share a few thoughts with you, and who knows, you may find them helpful.

Our mortal human life is, paradoxically, surprisingly resilient; yet fragile 

Our mortal flesh, our human life in the body, is amazingly resilient... just think of all that we go through in life and survive; as your oved ones may have done their whole life long. Yet, when it comes right down to it, our life is also quite fragile. When enough pressure is put on our life, it simply stops.... All that we have become, on the inside, is what we call the soul or spirit. When we die... what happens to us then?

If science can't observe or measure it, does that mean it doesn't exist?

Many if not most scientists today, as brilliant as they are, deny the existence of our soul simply because they can't "observe" it, measure it, demonstrate or "prove" that it exists. They track all of our speaking, behaving, and acting to activity - the firing of neurons - in the brain. So for them, whatever doesn't track to the brain and show the firing of neurons isn't real and doesn't exist.

However, other scientists - especially neuroscientists - have begun to demonstrate that some of who we are and what we do is not at all related to activity in our brain... it remains quiet and "dark" with no synapses firing; yet a lot is going on inside us. They have observed that when we decide NOT to do something, the brain is quiet and dark. THAT decision doesn't come from our brain but from elsewhere outside our flesh. We who believe know where such decisions come from... they come from our will, our mind, our soul.

Beyond science, we have other ways of knowing the truth....

There are sources of knowledge and information beyond science, such as divine revelation as we have it in the Bible. Jesus Christ has provided plenty of evidence that his word is reliable. There are also the mystical experiences and intuitions of the saints. It is in our soul that God comes to dwell with us in Spirit. God our Father created our soul in the image and likeness of God... our soul is spirit as God is spirit, as the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are spirit. They are divine spirit and we are human spirit. Our soul has an "empty place" deep within us that God designed for Him to come and dwell within us. We are most fully alive, most fully human, most fully ourselves when we welcome God within us. That is why Holy Communion is such an awesome gift, a priceless gift.

Where is your departed loved one now?

So, where is your departed loved one now, their soul, their spirit, all that they came to BE by the time they drew their last breath on this Earth? The Bible tells us that God receives our soul when it must leave the body behind. Our soul is, in a way, naked or unclothed anymore with its flesh, and in his goodness God provides a "heavenly habitation" for the soul while it must wait for the FINAL RESURRECTION when God will raise up our mortal bodies to be like his own in glory. If you are interested you will find many quotes from the Bible about this HERE.

So we have God's word on this... nothing is lost when we die... because all that we have become is precious in God's eyes and He welcomes us into his radiant presence to share eternal life with God, the Most Holy Trinity. We have trouble understanding who and what God is because God is so different.... One single Divine Being who is so full of life that there are actually Three Divine Persons living in intimate community, family, unity and communion of love - the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.

The Incarnation of the Son of God as Jesus is the greatest event in the universe!

The Father sent the Son and the Son accepted to go, to come down among us when Mary replied to the Archangel Gabriel: "I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let it be done to me according to your word." Luke's Gospel chapter one verse 38. That's when the Son took on flesh and became Jesus.

We celebrate that moment every year on March 25th, the Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord. That's coming up again in this New Year 2024, just next March 25th. Happy Feast Day!

We believe in the "communion of saints"; so, why not put it into practice?

All the above being true, you can continue to be "in communion" with your departed loved one in the spirit, that is, deep within yourself. We're talking about deeper than feelings, deeper than thoughts, way down deep at the centre of who you are, where God comes to be with you... it's in that place that we taste the goodness of God, that we know we are loved, that we know we are united to those we love and can never be separated from them... regardless of how we may "feel". Allow me to close with a suggestion: let's "practice the communion of saints". 

This "communion of saints" is too deep, too mysterious to capture or put into words, really, and our mind cannot grasp it nor control it, but we can gently allow ourselves to enter into it. It is the Holy Spirit who carries us there and who instills divine peace into us, no matter what may be going on up on the surface of our awareness... loss, grief, fear, regrets, guilt, anxiety, concern, desperation... and all sorts of "negative" thoughts and emotions... or even the positive ones... peace, love, hope, faith, consolation, joy, enthusiasm.... All of these of which we "are aware" happen, we could say, "on the surface" of our lives. God "moves" within our soul "in the depths".

We are complex beings living on many levels and dimensions all at the same time, and it's okay. We don't have to understand it all and we certainly don't need to have it all "under control". Life is an adventure to be lived, not a problem to be solved.

So, if you have recently lost a loved one who has died and left this mortal existence, my sincere sympathies on your loss, and please know that every day we pray for the departed souls and their intentions and all your intentions as well every time we approach the Altar for Holy Mass....

Peace to you all and your families, and may you have a peaceful entry into the Season of Lent in just four weeks. May the Word of God which we will hear during the next couple of weeks bring you much consolation and hope.

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Pope Francis, representing Jesus the Good Shepherd, is authorizing the giving of blessings even to those who are in "irregular situations" as individuals or as couples, but without it resembling a marriage ritual - Isn't this confusing? If confusing; to whom is it confusing?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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On December 18th, 2023, in an audience with Víctor Manuel Card. Fernández, Prefect, and Mons. Armando MATTEO, Secretary for the Doctrinal Section of the DICASTERY FOR THE DOCTRINE OF THE FAITH, Pope Francis signed the following document in several languages: 

Declaration Fiducia Supplicans On the Pastoral Meaning of Blessings

        Now, people are wondering and sending me questions and statements about what this really means and how it will play out in reality among us flawed human beings. Here follows an email exchange I have been having with one such seeker of the truth, goodness, and beauty of God. My reply is followed by the seeker's commentary and questioning.

The document itself in ENGLISH.... and in FRENCH 

Home page of the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith 

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First of all, the best we can do is to prayerfully read the actual document itself. You will find links to the document in English and in French up above. 

My initial reply in this dialogue exchange and reflection.... 

We can be too quick to jump to conclusions and not take the time to understand what exactly is intended by these declarations and decisions by Pope Francis and the Vatican dicasteries.

What is a blessing?

I understand blessing first of all in its fundamental sense: to say good words. Jesus clearly expects us to do that unconditionally for anyone and everyone we meet, even enemies, and perhaps especially to enemies and those we may consider "unclean"; which is something Jesus reproached the Pharisees for refusing to do.

The spiritual dimension of a blessing

On a more spiritual or mystical level, to bless someone is to believe that when we do or say good to someone, God himself is the One who truly blesses. Every human being, even criminals, have a right to be blessed because God wants to bless them. A blessing is never an approval of sin, but aimed at the soul in order to lift it up closer to God.

In this particular case, people in irregular situations are already suffering to various degrees in their persons. The simple fact that they seek a blessing from the Church or from a priest, deacon, or bishop indicates that they in some true sense are calling out to the Lord. We have no grounds upon which to withhold a blessing from anyone who asks, no matter their condition. That is why Pope Francis keeps repeating that we should not subject them to exhaustive moral scrutiny and examination before even considering their request, or go so far as to subject them to a humiliating moral examination and judgment of their life and conditions as the Pharisees did. 

From the "ivory tower" and "glass castle" of their wealth, prestige, power, and authority; the Pharisees looked down upon people as "lesser human beings" and, for the most part, as "ritually unclean", that is, as not observing every last one of the 619 laws, rules, and prescriptions and interpretations of the commandments and prescriptions given by God to Moses for the people to observe in order to be righteous before God. 

Now, when a soul is asking for moral guidance or confession, well, that is clearly something else. Then we are certainly obliged to guide them through an examination of their conscience based on divine revelation and all that God wants them to know; so that they can adjust themselves and begin taking steps towards aligning themselves with God's will. They may not always be able to go the full distance all at once or even in their lifetime, but may be able to make progress over time, one step at a time. No one has any right to impose the full journey instantaneously on demand on anyone... the journey is intended by God to take a lifetime, whether that turns out to be long or short. No one has the right to insinuate themselves in between God and a soul... that territory belongs to God alone.

Blessings as sacraments

On a sacramental level, the blessing of couples as couples, especially in a ritual resembling marriage, can clearly only be given to a man and a woman, and even then, under the right circumstances and personal dispositions.

I find it sad when people at any level of status or condition in the Church react with great indignation to Pope Francis' determination to get the Church to stop being so judgmental, so Pharisaical, and turn around and become more pastoral in order to welcome people in their simple requests for a blessing. 

Jesus will one day return on the clouds as Judge to separate the sheep from the goats, but in the meantime, He presents Himself as the Good Shepherd. Every time Pope Francis calls on us to welcome people, regardless of their life situation, and in this case to give a blessing, he also makes it clear that for couples in irregular situations (still bound before God by a previous marriage, or both of the same gender, as in two men or two women, and so on), the blessing cannot resemble anything like a marriage ritual. He cannot make it clearer than that. 

We have no right to tell anyone that they don't belong and can't have access to God's blessing and mercy. Jesus keeps the door to Himself open, and no one has the right to slam it shut in anyone's face, no matter their condition or situation. Jesus made this clear to Sister Saint Faustina Kowalska when He made her the "Secretary of Divine Mercy" and told her how much his merciful love wants to pour itself out into souls; they have only to ask. 

However, none of us has the authority to change God's original plan for marriage and family. One husband married to one wife is God's ideal plan for the procreation and parenting of children. There is some wiggle room, as there was for Mary, who became pregnant with the Son of God by the action of the Holy Spirit. Joseph still married her, after the angel Gabriel told him the child was from the Holy Spirit, and he served Mary well as a good husband and Jesus as a "foster father". Joseph was the only earthly father that Jesus knew and loved. 

All this huffing and puffing by ecclesiastics and even lay people who take it on themselves to criticize and even condemn Pope Francis smacks of clericalism and moral superiority and is light years away from anything resembling humility; which is the only way to approach Almighty God. Such people show nothing but contempt for souls and the suffering of humanity and expose themselves as living in some kind of glass castle or ivory tower. They feel called to act as the great defenders of morality, the ten commandments, and the dignity of the Church and of God Himself, but they are deluded. 

God can and does take care of Himself and of his truth and doesn't need champions. It is enough for us to do as Jesus did and to teach and proclaim the truth, simply, and peacefully; letting people take it in and take the time they need to assimilate it and integrate it into their way of living and behaving towards others over their lifetime. Proclaiming the truth does not exempt us from the obligation to obey Jesus' command to love one another and to extend his mercy to others. 

It is wrong and might even be mortal sin to try to pound moral principles into people's hearts, minds, and souls as a complete package that they must absorb in its entirely NOW because WE DEMAND IT. Treating people this way objectifies them, reducing them to objects who must receive our demands. We then have no respect for the dignity God our Creator has given them as human beings. To make such declarations and demands with everyone on every occasion, every circumstance, at all times and in all places, is a pretence of moral righteousness. It puts obstacles in front of people as pre-conditions to receiving any and all services or blessings. This I believe is the entire point of Pope Francis' campaign to get the Church to become more pastoral, more welcoming, more humble like our Master the Good Shepherd; that is, to get out of the way of people seeking God and let them go to Him.

The Most Holy Trinity know in their infinite wisdom that human souls come only with great difficulty to the full knowledge, acceptance, and living of the truth, of goodness, and of beauty, and as St. Peter wrote in his letter, what appears to us as delay is God's patience shown to souls. He "wants none to perish, but all to come to repentance." Great will be the shock of those with rigid, judgmental minds when they draw their last breath and come into the overwhelming radiance of truth, goodness, beauty, justice, and mercy of the Love of the Most Holy Trinity. That first entry into God's Presence will be terribly embarrassing for many who are so convinced of their moral high ground in this life. That is why our merciful Father provides for the possibility of purification in Purgatory.... Thanks be to God for that. I will quite likely need it, and you may need it too. 

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The original query from a devout Catholic seeking clarity in these confusing times:

According to the latest document from the Vatican, under certain conditions couples in “irregular” (sinful?) situations and same-sex couples could receive blessings, provided these blessings don’t give the appearance of sacramental matrimony.

           Since the publication and promulgation of this document, cardinals, bishops, even entire episcopal conferences have stated that they will not implement such blessings.

           This brings to mind two approved apparitions and their prophecies – Fatima and Akita:

           From Fatima: Sr. Lucia of Fatima told Cardinal Carlo Caffarra that a "decisive battle between the kingdom of Christ and Satan will be over marriage and the family."

From Akita: On October 13, Mary then warned of the impending dangers for the Church.

"The work of the devil will infiltrate even into the Church in such a way that one will see cardinals opposing cardinals, bishops against bishops. The priests who venerate me will be scorned and opposed by their confreres...churches and altars sacked; the Church will be full of those who accept compromises and the demon will press many priests and consecrated souls to leave the service of the Lord.

           Folks – these prophecies have come true!

           Let us pray many rosaries of repentance and for the Holy Spirit to send us courageous cardinals, bishops, and priests who will lead us to our salvation by “preaching the Gospel in season and out of season”  (II Tim 4:2).

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Dialogue partner's reply to my response as above to the original quwry, eagerly seeking the truth and what is right and in accord with God's will:

Whatever is intended by Pope Francis in this or other writings/speeches he has made, there is almost always great confusion; his remarks, while well intentioned, can be taken many ways, and those include by enemies WITHIN the Church!  Lest we forget, Pope Paul VI had proclaimed that the smoke of Satan has entered the Church.

I’m absolutely sure that the Blessed Mother revealed the prophecies to Srs. Lucia and Agnes for our edification and salvation.  Well, here are the facts - cardinals and bishops ARE against each other; the issue of homosexuality has been in the background for a long time, including so-called “gay marriage”. Couples living together (“irregular situations”) without the sacrament of matrimony are living in sin. That is the teaching. It is the duty of every baptized Catholic to pray, regularly receive the sacraments, and encourage everyone to do the same. That is also the mission of the Church.

While the document takes great pains to differentiate a blessing from an endorsement of these “couples”, it is not clear what the purpose of this blessing is - a call to repentance?.../why people in such situations seek a blessing? Confusion!

Fatima and Akita are approved apparitions; the BVM does not lie! Sorry Gilles, but I strongly disagree. I continue to pray for all of the ordained.

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My further reply, also seeking God's will for us all: 

I frankly enjoy these dialogues with you, because you never lack for an expression of conviction. Still, on this Earth, I believe that none of us are capable of comprehending, let alone giving appropriate and just expression to, the complete and full wisdom of the Most Holy Trinity. The best we can do is mutter partialities, like the "ligue du vieux poêle" who make hockey commentaries fun.

The social upheaval of the 20th century

In our societies that were not devastated as were the "theatres of war" during WWII - there emerged a generalized selfishness due to the sudden prosperity of the 1950's, which we must remember was a result of society's mobilization for world war. This sudden prosperity creared a disparity between our society's values and the new "lifestyles of prosperity", which in turn caused a crisis in parenting. The new generations may not have understood it, but they observed the prosperity which came out of the business of killing people in war. 

We can understand how the young would have trouble with this disparity between responsible values their parents tried to pass on to them from the past and what they now saw as at times reckless living due to prosperity in the present. It would be untrue and unjust to shift the entire blame to these youth for becoming part of what is now seen as their irresponsible "teen age" demographic. These rapid changes were accompanied by the cultural, psychological, societal, and spiritual "explosion" of the 60's - this would include what is still called the "sexual revolution", which is ongoing today all over the world. 

All this upheaval ushered in what we could call a carefree abandon of morality and bold exploration of human boundaries inherent in civilized societies until then. Going beyond the boundaries, demolishing them, and substituting other values or even anti-values went on throughout the 70's, 80's, 90's and even until today. Many are those who have lost any bearing to the truth or any moral compass, and legion perhaps are those who never had the benefit of even hearing about a moral compass or direction, meaning, or purpose for their life.

The outbreak of scandals in the past three decades

However, much of what we have seen of scandalous sin in recent decades was already there to some degree, but was hypocritically hidden behind carefully starched collars and fine lace. Divine Providence has allowed the past century to happen for God's divine kind purposes. One reason people rebelled against the morality of their parents and society is because until then it had been imposed, without much room for questioning or understanding. You recall how in the 1950's we had to render our memorized catechism answers, complete with correct punctuation. Questions were not allowed, and understanding was deemed unnecessary. Only blind obedience was required. 

This entire approach to the education and formation of the young and of evangelization was wrong. God does not impose his will on us; that is not his way. The ways of the Lord are not our ways. Rather, his ways are more like the behaviour of the farmer who watches and waits for the crop to arise on its own. It is true that obedience is the highway to communion with the Most Holy Trinity, but God wants our obedience to be not blind, but freely and gladly given, and with increasing understanding. 

The authoritative Church past did not help people face life's challenges with free will 

In times past, the Magisterium behaved much like a hammer, and when you're a hammer, everything becomes a nail. For centuries, the documents emerging from councils were long lists of condemnations to hell. In Québec, if people have abandoned the Church, it is manifestly because for centuries the Church failed to mentor people toward love of God; failing to direct people to grow to moral maturity and learn to make their own right choices, attitudes, and behaviours, as well as works. For this to have happened, it would have been necessary for the Church to accept the risk that people would make mistakes, which God does with us.

When you apply unrelenting pressure, you prepare the way for an inevitable explosion. This is a law of nature. No matter what stance a pope takes, there will always be plenty of those around who will misinterpret and wreak havoc; which is the way of the enemy of humanity, ever ready to exploit us at our weakest point.

Thankfully, the landscape of the Church was not entirely bleak. There were some religious teachers and some pastors with greater maturity, autonomy of mind, understanding and wisdom of heart; who did in fact mentor other religious, pastors, and also parents. They taught them not only to understand the Word of God and the Church's teachings and Tradition, but also to apply the truth to life and to think and take responsibility for themselves. 

Reality is complex and we need to let Jesus be Lord 

As usual, this discourse cannot but go around in circles unless we admit that the reality is far more complex than can be delineated in a few paragraphs. For my part, I cling to the belief that the Lord Jesus is not on vacation, nor asleep; nor has he retired or quit. He remains Lord of Lords and King of Kings, but also the Good Shepherd. Both are true: God's divine justice and his divine mercy. His mercy is just and his justice is merciful. We cannot attempt to have one without the other.

One thing seems certain: there is no going back to a Church with which the Pharisees would have been most comfortable or would have admired - a Church wherein the "righteous" from on high in their ivory or glass towers and rich palaces condemn all the "unclean" - and see themselves as superior to the rest of humanity, "the great crowd of the unwashed". Jesus died to manifest the hollow emptiness of that attitude and approach, and I believe He will not tolerate his Church emulating or trying to go back to that hypocritical backwardness.

God wants all to be saved and we had best not hinder his efforts

Yes, Pope Francis is trying to convey to both clergy and laity alike, to unbelievers and atheists, and to all, that God is both just and merciful - that Marriage is only between one man and one woman for life in all fidelity and chastity - but that all those unable or unwilling to enter into that mode of living still remain children of God, whom He loves, and for whom Jesus died and rose again. Therefore, all can approach in their search for God and seek a blessing, or guidance, or confession, or Christian initiation. 

We may fool humans for a time, but no one can fool God 

If any attempt to approach with a false conscience or in a futile attempt to extract from the Church anything for which it has no authority to grant; then they may fool humans for a while, but they will never be able to fool God. When the ultimate and terrifying moment comes for us to find ourselves face to face with the Almighty, the Creator of the universe; then all pretense will fall away, and the soul will find itself irremediably naked before the Divine Scrutiny, which is both just and merciful. What will happen then will depend a lot on the soul's disposition. If it still refuses to bend to the Divine Will, it will opt for hell with all the rebellious angels and other human souls in that frame of conscience.

If it accepts to humbly bend to and make room for the Divine Will but is still too embarrassed to endure the intense and radiant Divine Love, it will opt to remove itself for a time from that blazing light and heat and find refuge in Purgatory; for as long as it takes for it to fully embrace the Divine Will, Truth and Goodness, Justice, Mercy, and Love.

For those who are already there, they will hear: "Beloved of my Father, enter into your divine inheritance. Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into your Master's Joy." 

As my lively dialogue partner has indicated, we had best pray to God - and ask our Blessed Mother Mary to intercede for us sinners, for all of humanity - so that we may all come to the knowledge and love of God. 

See 2 Peter 3:8-10; Ephesians 3:19-21; 4:13-16; 1 Timothy 2:1-6

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2024 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2024 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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Jesus sends us out to "make disciples".... In the face of the world as it now is, how exactly do we do that?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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How do we go out and "make disciples" in our world in 2023?

Chand Barkat, a persecuted Christian now living in Canada 

        In reflecting on this question, I'd like to relate a glimpse of the life story of a devout Roman Catholic Christian man I have come to know these past ten years. He works in our residence as a kitchen aid and sometimes assistant cook. He is in his sixties, is married, and has six grown children. Until last year, he enriched our lives by labouring joyfully at our service five days a week, from Monday through Friday. Last year, as he began to receive pensions, he cut back his work to half time, coming in two days one week and three days the next. His joy is so infectious, that we miss him on those other days, just as previously, we missed him on the weekends. 

        Chand Barak's story is relevant to our question because he is a remarkable witness to the Good News by his attitude and behaviour as well as by what he likes to tell. In the early years of our acquaintance, I simply assumed that he was a remarkable and unique individual, but that his story could not be imitated and therefore was not all that relevant for the issue at hand.

        You will find at this link a record and summary of his case as a persecuted Christian in Pakistan in the early 1990's, dated from mid-1994. You will find the pertinent text in section "3. Cases of abuse of the blasphemy law". He was a small merchant with a stall in a public market when another merchant saw him as a competitor and threatened him to remove his stall. When Chand didn't, the other accused him of blasphemy in order to make use of the law against him. However, this account does not tell how Chand's story unfolded, but which he has related on a number of occasions. As indicated in the record, the judge wanted to release him, but under the threats from his persecutors, the judge was loath to release him and suffer along with him the wrath of the mob. 

        The judge informed him that he would be released late at night or early in the morning, but that he would need help to be taken to a safe refuge. Help was found and in time Chand found refuge in the house of some missionaries who arranged for his safe departure from the country and travel to Canada as a refugee. In time, he was able to obtain similar help for his wife and six children, and they all found refuge here among us. He was generously helped by his local Pastor, Fr. Paul Pomkoski of St. Brendan Parish in the Rosemont district of Montreal, and finally able to obtain gainful employment. His wife and children, as they were able and desired, were also able to find work and are doing well. 

Chand Barkat, a missionary disciple 

        Chand does not proselytize nor go around proclaiming the Good News; so, how could he be a missionary disciple? The answer is both complex and simple. It is complex in that he "effects a jolly demeanour", to quote Kris Kringle in "Miracle on 34th Street" the 1993 movie. Here is a brief story which perfectly expresses this. One day, while still in Pakistan, he was approached by a small gang who threatened to kill him and demanded he hand over all his personal effects. 

        He smiled at the ruffians and gladly emptied his pockets, treating them like long-lost relatives, to whom he was eternally grateful for the privilege of handing over to them all his effects. Grumbling, they took his effects, threatened to kill him if he reported this, and turned to leave. Chand called after them, "Wait. Wait." He said. "You forgot my wedding ring; here it is." Saying this, he pulled off his wedding ring and extended it to the leader, with a broad, warm, and sincere smile.

        So far, the story is complex due to this extraordinary warmth and compassion of this man even for his enemies. Now, the story becomes simple. So, the leader of the hoodlums barks to him, "What is the meaning of this? Why are you handing us your wedding ring?" Chand answered, "But you told me you needed everything I possess, and you forgot about my wedding ring; so, here it is. I give it to you gladly. You obviously need it more than I do." 

        Dumbfounded, the leader stood there for a moment. He asked Chand, "Why are you behaving like this towards us?" Chand gently explained, "I am a Christian; so you are my brothers. In Jesus Christ, I am so rich, that I don't need anything. That is why I am so glad to share with you everything that I have, including my faith." Then, the leader, turning to his comrades, ordered them to return everything to their victim. Chand accepted to receive back his personal effects as graciously as he had accepted to surrender them. Herein is the simplicity of Chand's Christian witness: Jesus Christ alone is his treasure, and all other things are of lesser value and importance and subordinate to this "one thing necessary". 

The relevance of Chand Barkat's testimony for us missionary disciples 

        Having known Chand now for almost ten years, and having heard innumerable stories of his encounters with people in surprising circumstances and a variety of places all over the world, I can attest to the genuineness of his character and behaviour. This man is in a constant state of joy, and it all exudes from within, rooted in his personal relationship with the Most Holy Trinity, and his undying gratitude for the multiple ways in which Divine Providence has cared for him and his family, and also touched the hearts of many of his enemies, but more importantly, of all those he encounters. 

        Even as he meets people in airports and other places, Christians of various denominations ask him to come and share his testimony with their congregations. When he apologizes for being a Roman Catholic and of a different Christian tradition; they want him to come all the more to speak to their members and their families. They even pay for his travel expenses and accommodations. 

        When he and his family, relatives, or friends travel and they encounter all sorts of restrictions, Chand gently says to them, "Wait here. I'll go and speak to them." Even in Germany, where people are so strict on timeliness and rules, when Chand approaches them explains his situation, and places himself at their mercy, people generally make an exception for him and allow him to pass. He of course warmly expresses his gratitude to them and may even express his wish for God's blessing on them. 

        So, what do I take away from Chand's example in seeking an answer to our question: "How do we go out and "make disciples" in our world in 2023?" There is a word from Jesus that comes to mind and may be applicable to me, to us in some situations: "O you of little faith. Why did you doubt?" Like Peter walking on the water towards Jesus, we become distracted by the force of the wind and we take our eyes off Jesus and begin to sink. 

        We also, due to our human condition and mortal insecurities, cling to our meager worldy goods, even when we profess to live according to the evangelical counsels, and in so doing, we turn our gaze again away from the Lord Jesus; whom we profess to be our only treasure. 

        It seems that, in order to become fully activated as Jesus' missionary disciples in our world today, we need to daily let go of whatever we hold in our hands, minds, hearts, or souls; so as to cling to Jesus alone, and only Him. This attitude becomes real moment by moment as we accept to endure all things, to let go of all things,  to trust in Him in all things, and to love all others at all times, in all places, and under all circumstances. This, of course, is humanly impossible; all the more reason, then, to cling to the Lord and continually offer Him our poverty that He might fill us with his riches, and offer Him our weakness and frailty, that He may bring to bear the fullness of his power to save in and through us.

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My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian witnesses and writers in reflecting on life, encounters, and various situations, in a desire to enhance our understanding of what it means to be a missionary disciple of Jesus Christ at the service of the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2023 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2023 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC 

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