Whatever we live, think, feel, do, say or experience... our true motives are often concealed from our own conscience when we are flooded with emotions. Simple example, when I care for a family member or neighbor and receive back from them love and gratitude, perhaps even remuneration, then it is more difficult to know how pure my motivation is.
I may truly be doing it out of selfless and perfect love, but even then, my earthly reward at the very least clouds or shadows my perfect love. I would then need to be accepting the rewards simply out of consideration for the other, glad to provide the other with an opportunity to experience and to show gratitude. However, when to do or say a thing motivated out of love for others is difficult to do, tiring, stressful, or painful, and I still do it and persevere over time in doing it, those difficulties and absence of pleasure purify my motives and clarify my heart, mind, and soul, and the Holy Trinity can more easily bring me into sync with them, into perfect love and communion.
It is for this reason that various saints came to know this and to value times of pain and suffering and actually went out of their way to embrace such difficulties in the exercise of loving service of those most in need of experiencing the selfless love of another in order to come to really believe in the love of God for them.
I believe what our Church teaches as Jesus did that God in Jesus is a Good Shepherd who knows his sheep and gently leads us in the way we most need to be led and cared for. We do well to grow in trust of Him regardless of what may be happening in our thoughts and feelings, which tell us something about what is going on but they cannot tell us everything. We can perceive much more in our soul deep down beneath the sensations of our flesh and where the Holy Trinity dwells with us and infuses us with their divine life. This is how St Paul came to say "It is no longer I who live, but Jesus who lives in me."