Friday, June 20, 2008

Day 5 - Jesus comes to find us in our deepest fears, lifts us out, and satisfies our hunger with the love of his Father.

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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It has been a long 16+ hour day.... we just got in and I had a snack and took care of emails.... After walking 3 hours in our amazing Eucharistic Procession, in addition to all the other walking all day, it's now after midnight and I'm going to bed.... I'll blog this amazing Eucharistic day of Reconciliation as soon as I can..... God bless you and yours.....

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Day 4 - A Congress or retreat experience is also about making room for others....

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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WEDNESDAY THEME: The Eucharist builds up the Church, sacrament of salvation
SOUTH AMERICA


On days 2 and 3 I was humbled by being 5 to 10 minutes later than my 5 passengers... having slept only 5 or 6 hours on a mattress too soft for a deep sleep.... Then this morning, having made an effort to be on time at 7:30, it was my turn to wait up to 15 minutes for the others.... 

So we still have to fight traffic and for the third morning in a row arrived after Morning Prayer had started... and I forgot my umbrella in the men's washroom.... needless to say it was gone.... in a Christian community as in a family, what gets left hanging around becomes common property. 

My late nights caught up with me and I had trouble focusing on the simulataneous translation of the excellent catechist at 9 o'clock, his Eminence Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, S.J., Archbishop of Buenos Aires and Primate of Argentina, who reflected on how the Holy Eucharist builds up the Church, Sacrament of Salvation. He had an energetic and powerful voice and the sound system in the Colisée is excellent, so it was tough to try to focus on the sound coming from my little ear phones with the one good ear I have.... So I drowsed.... Poor Father!!! 

So what, you might ask, does this have to do with the grace of attending such a serious and spiritual event as a Eucharistic Congress? Well, nothing, and everything. A Congress like a retreat is not just about lofty spiritual matters, but more importantly how I relate to those spiritual matters, or better, how I experience those spiritual matters and how this experience has changed and continues to change me. 

At Baptism our heavenly Father shared with us the life He enjoys with his divine Son through a spiritual adoption making us his children. What follows then is our willingness to live as children and participate in the divine life He offers and gives us through the presence and action of the Holy Spirit in us. Of course, God can give us spiritual and divine helps without our consent, but when it comes to our progress in the divine life made visible to us in Jesus, no real progress can be made without our consent and willing participation. 

It follows then that we accept the awareness the Holy Spirit gives us of our own inner states, so that we can understand in what ways we need God's help to change and grow. So this morning I saw how easily, under the right circumstances, I can feel irritated by the minor faults of others. Believe it or not, it took a while for me to realize that I too make other people wait at times when I am late; so now the shoe was on the other foot and the opportunity was now mine to be kind and patient with others. It's harder to do that when you're feeling tired or burdened in any other way. 

Then I began to recall some of Catherine Doherty's teaching and formation of staff workers at Madonna House Apostolate at the Training Center in Combermere Ontario. She often spoke of the duty of the moment, which she was inspired to understand from her contemplation of the life of the Holy Family in Nazareth. For the Christian and child of God, the duty of the moment isn't just doing what we know to be the will of God for us at any given moment, although it is also that. 

In addition, inspired by Mary and Joseph caring for the Holy Child Jesus in Nazareth, we can see that in response to the great love of the Father for us, it is right and good that we do what we know to be his holy will with all the love we can muster, and so to do whatever we do with our whole and undivided attention and heart, as though we were doing it personally for God. 

After all, Jesus did say in the parable of the judgement by the great king that whatever we do to the least of these his brothers we do it to Him. So my thoughts wandered to the countless people, parents, aged, youth, and children all over the world who suffer far worse irritations and even violence against their human dignity, health and well being and that of their loved ones. Suddenly I found myself very small in the face of so much patient suffering by so many people manifesting far purer and more generous hearts than me.... 

Such a revelation and self discovery is an important part of any Eucharistic Congress, because the Jesus that is ever waiting for me hidden in the Sacred Host under cover of the Tabernacle is the very same Jesus who desires to lift me up from my smallness, forgive my sinfulness, heal my wounds, cure my diseased sensitivities, and strengthen my weak character.... 

As Fr. Nicolas Buttet of Switzerland shared with us yesterday, it is better to be transformed by adoration of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament than to be disfigured by consumerism and various dependencies. We then prepared for the Mass which today was longer, being the Divine Liturgy celebrated in the Byzantine Tradition of the Ukrainian Catholic Church in Canada. Such dignity and beauty in pageantry of vestments and multiplicity of participants and roles, multiple incensings, candles, gestures, processions, and beauty of ritual and words, and solemn music led by the joint choirs... 

I later met Fr. Michael McKenna of Montreal who today celebrated his 79th birthday, being a priest now for 52 years! He shared with me that he had rarely prayed so much during the Mass, which was longer with many beautiful prayers absent from the briefer, more streamlined Roman Rite. 

At Madonna House, since 1992 I have had the privilege of celebrating the Byzantine Divine Liturgy in the Melkite Rite several times, and so am prejudiced when I say that I have never experienced a more beautiful, touching, and life changing Liturgy than that one. 

The exquisite beauty of the schola and congregational singing, the intimacy of the participation of the priests, the beauty of the icons and pageantry, all make it truly a glimpse of Heaven.... which is what the Eastern Rite Divine Liturgy was originally intended to be from its early development. It would be an amazing experience for our youth to go to Madonna House one summer for their Summer School for youth and other guests, where they would be treated to opportunities to learn much about prayer and contemplation, the spiritual life, community living, the Church and Church history, the faith and morality, Liturgy and the role of the laity in the Church, and much more. 

A number of youth from across Canada, the States, Europe and even the Far East come for this Summer School and leave enriched and having made new friends in the faith. So I had lunch with Fr. Michael and later wandered around, in awe of the "bath of people" we are experiencing here.... thousands of people from all over.... and stumbled into one of the Adoration Chapels.... After my experience yesterday I wanted to go back.... I snoozed again, but also prayed and kept the Lord company only to find He was keeping me company.... 

After quite some time, there was a request for English speaking confessors, so I went in and received two French penitents, go figure.... But it seemed the Lord wanted me there just for them.... I wandered around outside taking in the rare sunshine and bumped into some people, among whom was Archbishop Terrence Prendergast of Ottawa, originally a Montrealer, who is such a kind and warm hearted man.... 

I saw Paul and Connie from St. Luke and we progressed our plans for Sunday morning, our departure day.... It was a graced day, though so very simple, because grace isn't only dramatic... it is often quite ordinary, though long lasting.... and in the end I came home early, relaxed, ate supper, chatted with other delegates living here, and here I am back at the blog.... Good night to you, pilgrim of the Absolute.... For more on the love of Jesus in our lives and how to enter more deeply into his love even in our relationships with others, see Fr. David May's reflection "Prayer at a Roadside Shrine."

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Day 3 - What difference is Jesus in the Holy Eucharist making in my life?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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TUESDAY THEME: The Eucharist, memorial of the Paschal Mysery
EUROPE

Cardinal Philippe Barbarin, Archbishop of Lyons and Primate of the Gauls gave us the catechesis this morning, on the Eucharist, memorial of the paschal mystery. He focused on the presence, sacrifice, and communion Jesus offered then and offers now. Jesus makes Himself present to us, He freely offers Himself out of love for us, and He brings us into communion with Him in the Father's love by the fire of the Holy Spirit. Such an offering of one's life is both a gift and a fight. Just as Jesus wrestled with the giving of his life for us, so we too wrestle with the giving of our life out of love. 

The love of God in Jesus requires everything of us, that we offer our whole lives to God in Jesus and with Jesus. This love is so great that it requires our whole life to live it out, either in Marriage, or Holy Orders, or in some other form of vocation. In his testimony yesterday, Jean Vanier explored how it is that people with handicaps more openly seek real presence from people, though it is something we all crave and desire. Jesus made Himself truly present to people in his life on Earth and continues to do that for us in the Holy Eucharist, both within Mass and in the reserve of the Blessed Sacrament. 

It's only possible to perceive Jesus' presence by lingering there, in front of the Blessed Sacrament, for a while. We know and believe that in offering his life for us and for all humanity, sinners all, Jesus made a sacrificial offering to God his Father. We tend to think of sacrifice as something awful, painful, difficult to do, but Bishop Barbarin led us into another view of it. 

He gave the example of a mother who threw herself headlong into the preparations for a birthday party for her son and did it with joy and delight, not thinking of the time and effort and expense it cost her. Not too long later, her son fell seriously ill, and again she threw herself headlong into all she could do to understand the disease and seek out treatments for him. People looking on thought and even said to her she was behaving like a mad woman, neglecting herself and not counting the cost of her efforts for her son, but no one dared to try to stop her because there was something unstoppable in her devoted love. She could do nothing less than she did out of her great maternal love, nor would she for a moment consider doing less. It was spontaneous and natural for her to do as she did. 

Such was the sacrifice of Jesus, not a chore, duty, or burden, but a spontaneous outpouring of his love for us in the conditions in which He found Himself in face of the authorities and attitudes of his contemporaries. Not only did Jesus offer Himself for all people of all time, He found a way to allow us to enter into his offering of Himself, and that is the Eucharist. Our participation in the Holy Eucharist is not full and complete until we enter willingly, spontaneously, and gladly into Jesus offering of Himself and offer up our own lives to the Father in order to follow Jesus. 

In the everning conference given in Spanish by Mr. José H. Prado Flores, Director and founder of the St. Andrew School of Evangelization, he said that we are not fully disciples until we allow ourselves to be molded and shaped by Jesus in his hands like a loaf of bread or a lump of clay. He led us in a reflection on the 7 steps in the process of discipleship summarized in what Jesus did at the Last Supper. Jesus (1) took bread in his sacred hands, (2) blessed it, (3) broke it, (4) gave it to his disciples, (5) saying, "This is my body...." (6) "eat it...", (7) "Do this in memory of Me." It is only in Jesus' hands that we can be shaped into disciples. 

There, as we listen to Jesus and the Word He speaks to us, we are shaped in accord with his mind and heart. We cannot be his disciples unless we listen, read, and ponder his Word all the time. Without returning to the Word of God we are like a woodsman who works harder and harder but cuts less and less trees because his axe is losing more and more edge. His companion steadily produces the same number of trees and even seems to go away to rest, because those are the times he sits down to sharpen his axe. Jesus breaks us like bread in order to purify the intentions of our hearts until we desire only one thing, the Father's will, just like Jesus. 

We are either purified of our sins, like Mary Magdalene, or else in view of the mission the Lord knows He wants to entrust to us - the greater the mission - the greater the purification we must endure. The Lord breaks and purifies us through opposition or persecution we must endure when we try to live the Gospel and others don't like it, when we proclaim Jesus and people ridicule us because they are caught up in the way the world thinks. The Lord also purifies us through failures we undergo in trying to serve Him. We are purified of any need for recognition and applause, or for the affection of others. 

The Lord also breaks us and purifies us through the humiliation of our sin and of our condition as sinners. While we must weep for our sins, we can rejoice that the Lord uses even our sins to purify us and give us a capacity of compassion for sinners. Jesus distributes his disciples just as He distributed the bread He had broken. 

Once He has broken and purified the intentions of our hearts, Jesus distributes us and gives us to others, that we might make other disciples to be formed by Jesus and become like Him too. Jesus says of us too that we are his Body, just as the priest says it of himself as He says it of Jesus; who calls him to live out the same gift Jesus is offering today through the priest. 

For a disciple to become identified with Jesus' Body means that the disciple becomes one with his Master, proclaiming the Good News as Jesus did, serving, healing, loving, suffering, and dying as Jesus did, becoming another Jesus for people today. Then Jesus says to people "Take and eat..." The disciple becomes bread to be eaten by people today famished for the life only Jesus can give. The disciple is to be eaten and disappear, leaving only Jesus to be seen; so that people will eat us and find Jesus and believe in Him, follow Him, and love Him. 

Finally, just as Jesus forms us into his disciples, He tells us to go and do the same in his memory, so that it's not just the Mass He wants us to go on doing in his memory but also the giving of ourselves as He did and the making of more disciples as He did. Jesus wants for us the joy of Andrew, who brought Simon to Jesus, and Simon became a greater disciple and apostle than Andrew was. This is the joy of the disciple, to make Jesus known and loved and to bring more disciples to Him, who will in turn bring more people to Jesus, that they may know and love Him. Feel free to check out further impressions in my French blog....

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Monday, June 16, 2008

Day 2 - The grace of a Eucharistic Congress is an awesome encounter with the Holy Eucharist as a Person, Jesus Himself!

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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MONDAY THEME: The Eucharist, gift of God par excellence.
NORTH AMERICA


When I was a young man and member of a youth group in town, we went to the Oka Trappist monastery where a monk, Fr. Benedict Vanier, gave us an inspiringly simple talk about prayer as visiting with God. I later returned for a retreat with Fr. Benedict as my director. The first thing he told me that I should do on retreat was "Don't resist the urge to sleep for the first two days. Most people come here tired, and you simply have to allow your body to catch up on rest." 

Well, since a Eucharistic Congress is in many ways a retreat - since there is a lot of activity all around, the only silence to be had is the silence we must make within ourselves, with the help of the adoration chapels - my need for sleep and rest has come home to me today. I was really revved up last night, and after blogging I went up, listened for a while to the replay of part of the opening ceremonies on the little radio they gave us for simultaneous translation, wound down and prepared for sleep. 

The night was too short, but I went out for a walk and did my best to quickly get ready and have breakfast and then gave a lift to two priests from Burkina Faso, two ladies from Guatemala now living in Montreal, and another lady. The main congress events at this point are a musical interlude from 7:30 which we missed, Morning Prayer at 8:30 for which we missed a few minutes, a major address called a catechesis at 9:00 which was given this morning by his Excellency Msgr. Donald William Wuerl, Archbishop of Washington, D.C., U.S.A. 

He gave us a marvelous reflection on the significance of Jesus' gift of Himself at the Last Supper establishing with humanity the New Covenant prepared by God from all time for our salvation out of love for us. He focused on the perspective of what Jesus did in Holy Week, which we continue to experience year after year, and showed why it is so important for us to do so, as Jesus draws us to enter into the mystery of the love He came to reveal. 

After a short break, Jean Vanier came to give a testimony from his experience of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist and Holy Communion. He shared his and our anguish over what is happening in the world, which is so bruised, wounded, and divided. Every human wants to be of value, needs to be loved, though some ignore this in them. Jesus intends that as we receive Him into our lives we be touched by his love and changed by it to become more like Him and commit ourselves to be a real presence in the lives of others, especially those whom we find difficult to love.... 

After another break and some chatting and singing, we prepared to celebrate the Holy Eucharist. This Liturgy was not as "high" or solemn as yesterday. By the way, I made a mistake about the number of singers in the choir. Today we could see their chairs, as there were only 30 or so, and there seem to be some 250 or so chairs in the choir section. There were only a dozen or so musicians today as well, but what music, what singing! These people are not only talented, but they sing and play with such faith, joy, and expression.... 

If you haven't yet taken the time, check your TV channels and find either a live or rebroadcast glimpse of the main Congress events and Liturgy.... You will be touched by these events.... Some members of the Diocesan Council of the CWL found me and I joined them for lunch after Mass. We got to use the little transparent raincoats they had put in our pilgrim delegate bags as we experienced a Quebec version of Irish mist.... Part of the grace of the Congress is meeting and sharing with people we know and also with strangers, people we never met before. 

Another part of the grace is being immersed in a little sea of humanity, seeing and hearing people from all over the world - some 70 countries in all - and lots of clergy: 40 cardinals, some 250 bishops, and hundreds of priests. I wasn't fast enough to get into one or other of the workshops or animated adoration sessions offered after lunch, so along with a few thousand other people I visited over a hundred kiosks presented by religious orders, new religious communities, various New Evangelization initiatives, various purveyors of religious goods, devotional articles, books and other tools of evangelization and catechesis, adoration communities and intitiatives and projects, and lots more.... 

All the colors, visuals, materials, and the dense press of people was a little overwhelming at one point and I went out to seek one of the adoration chapels. I soon found one, went in, knelt and adored Jesus, and sat down. I took out a devotional prayer book from my pilgrim bag, and soon found myself dozing. My body claimed some of my back ordered rest.... I was there for an hour and a half or more, and after a while, life began to come back into me. 

I became aware of my overdue need to seek the Lord's forgiveness and experience the joy of going to confession; so I lined up along with a dozen other penitents.... The Confessor was a happy and delightfully radiant middle aged priest from the new community of L'Émmanuel here in Quebec. He said only a few words which were what I needed, inviting me to reflect on John 15 where Jesus spoke to us as branches on Him the Vine... 

He had brought out a group of youth once into the woods in early Spring for adoration, and he asked them whether they could hear or see the sap running in the trees. Of course they couldn't. Well, he said, it is like that with Jesus. We cannot hear, see, or smell the sap running from Him into us, but just as we see evidence of it in the trees as they sprout fresh new leaves, so it is in us as Jesus gives us to bud forth new shoots of vitality within us and all around us as we overflow of his love to others around us.... 

On leaving the adoration chapel, I wandered around the main welcome center where a number of afternoon events are also staged and where the booths are on display, and I bumped into former parishioners and friends from St. Thomas à Becket Parish in Pierrefonds. I also saw a number of other people I know, religious and laity from the Montreal area.... Two of my morning passengers and I reconnected, decided to shop for groceries, and I brought them back to the rectory where I am staying and we made and ate supper together.... That too was a blessing... 

So the central grace of a Eucharistic Congress is to finally slow and quiet down enough to notice one's hunger and thirst within for Jesus, and in the course of a prayerful visit with Him in adoration, to suddenly realize that He is pouring out his sap into us, into me, and in that moment I remember that He loves me personally. I remember my true name, who I am before God and in Jesus, and I find myself completely back in the present moment, having gotten off the merrygoround of business and busyness. 

If and when I have any vitality at all, it all comes from Jesus, whether I am aware of it or not, and it is a great joy to remember the truth... Peace be with you.... May you allow yourself, even from a distance - distance doesn't matter for the Holy Spirit - to enter into this grace of the Eucharistic Congress! Jesus is a living Banquet of divine Love

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Sunday, June 15, 2008

THE INTERNATIONAL EUCHARISTIC CONGRESS IS ON!!!!

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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CONGRESS THEME: The Eucharist, gift of God for the life of the world.


Our St. Luke Parish contingent made it safely and in time for the start of the 49th International Eucharistic Congress in Quebec City today. It was cloudy and cool here when we arrived and our hardy leader Paul Aitken kept his shorts but I quickly changed into my clergyman suit and long sleeved shirt in the van and off we went to get ourselves accredited as delegates. The process was fairly quickly. We received our name badges and delegate bag of goodies including participant booklets for the daily prayers and public liturgies, a little fm radio with head set for simultaneous translation on different channels posted around the Colisée in neon lights, a water bottle, and other goodies I haven't had time to check out.... Priests and deacons were given a stole as part of their registration package as well. 

We had a quick bite to eat forum style - fast food that is - and met people we knew going by or joining us... and off we went for the opening ceremonies. I met a priest from Saskatoon who's also a Madonna House Associate and we wandered around the bowels of the stadium led by helpful ladies trying to track down the changing room for priests. Because of the nature of the International Eucharistic Congresses, there are a large number of cardinals, archbishops, and bishops, and there are special changing rooms for them, but it would have been too much to provide for the priests; nevertheless some kind souls among the volunteer team added at the last minute priests to the sign designating the changing room for altar servers. I was able to hang my jacket and leave my bag. 

Things began formally but with lightness of heart and joy as the dignitaries offered their well scripted remarks. The role of Quebec in the colonization and evangelization of North America was highlighted, and after the speeches we were treated to visuals and dramatic animation as people wearing 20-foot high puppets of the founders of Quebec and the New France Church came in and strode around the round center piece stage, in the middle of which was the Altar and where the podium was also situated. Lighting and sound effects brought the puppets to life and drew spontaneous response and applause from the thousands in attendance. 

The music played by the philharmonic symphony orchestra was heavenly as was the singing of the 400 voice choir! The big screens in the four cardinal directions up in the rafters of the stadium above center ice added well composed images to the festivities. The significance of the hymns and prayers, the pageantry, the quality of the musicians and singers and directors, the dignity in movement of the liturgical dancers at the introduction ceremonies and bearing incense during the Mass, the clarity of the lectors and speakers, all brought to mind the high quality of the best shows we've seen at occasions like the Olympics and the Year 2000. 

Cardinal Tomko representing Pope Benedict XVI spoke and preached incredibly well, and told everyone that Pope Benedict will deliver the homily of the closing Mass by satellite. He read the Pope's letter decreeing the opening of the Congress as well. I had volunteered to distribute Holy Communion and was chosen to go up to the nosebleed section, up innumerable stairs (good training for WYD!) and I gave Communion to so many devout participants in the Congress. A lovely young girl had led me to my station and brought me back down afterwards. 

On our side, we ran out of Holy Communion and the folks were told that another priest would be sent to them.... It was a kind of spiritual experience for me to see myself running out of the Blessed Sacrament and the faithful coming around like so many hungry children coming to their mother.... I myself had not communed first as priests normally do because our ushers led us forward just before the invitation to exchange a sign of peace, and deacons handed us the Blessed Sacrament and our ushers led us to our stations. I was more conscious than ever of the Lord giving Himself to his faithful and so experienced a fresh and different communion with our Beloved as I held Him and distributed Him to those He loves...

The highlight was the time of adoration after the Mass was over and I was back at my seat... even without kneelers many knelt on the concrete floor where they stood.... The Blessed Sacrament was displayed in a huge monstrance made of wood at least 5 feet wide and as high... The Host must have been at least 18 inches in diameter.... We worshipped Jesus a good 10 to 15 minutes in silence and in song.... and at the end the cardinals responsible for the various adoration chapels throughout the city were sent off... and as the huge monstrance was installed atop the Ark of the Covenant and it was wheeled slowly away from the Sanctuary, the whole throng cheered wildly for the Lord... it was glorious and triumphant to see such a warm and genuinely affectionate outpouring of love and devotion for Jesus the Christ, our Lord, the One Saviour of the World, the Gift of God for the life of the world! 

During these holy days, may we be united in prayer, worship, adoration, and love of our God and of his Body the Church of his faithful disciples.... 

Fr. Gilles from Québec at the Congress, and writing from Paroisse St. Jean Chrysostome in the suburbs.

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Deceived, betrayed, cheated, what do I do now?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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What do you do when you suddenly wake up to find that a good number of the people around you have been deceiving you, lying to you, taking advantage of you, doing all kinds of evil things behind your back, speaking falsely about you, in effect, making a fool out of you? This dramatic situation may seem a little too much so, even melodramatic, but that is not the case. This question cuts to the heart of what is happening in the world, and in life. This is the agonizing question that keeps coming up over and over again in the Jewish and Christian Sacred Scriptures. 

The reason this question is so persistent has to do with our human nature, which is no longer as our Creator first intended and still desires for us. We have been damaged, weakened, confused, and disoriented from our origin and destiny. As a human race we are so lost that we remain in every generation in need of a saviour, and it is for this reason that our Creator God and Father sent his only begotten Son into the world to take on a human life in order to be with us in the very midst of our torment and pain. 

Why was Jesus betrayed, falsely condemned, tortured and executed? Because those who make themselves at home in evil are in such darkness that they cannot tolerate the light. They hate the light and will do anything to put it out and stop their torment. What they don't realize in their blindness is that it is not the light that hurts them. The light merely forces them to become aware of the darkness, pain, and torment that is already in their soul. Their attempts to put out the light are futile, because the light will never go out... it is shining on the human face of Jesus and originates in the power and love of God the Father, Creator of us all. 

So what do we do when we wake up and see all the evil and sin around us and all those who take their pleasure in evil and darkness tormenting us? We pray to our loving Father as Jesus prayed on the cross. We pray words, feelings, sentiments as expressed in the prayer Jesus quoted on the cross, Psalm 22. The other thing we do is imitate Jesus' own gesture, which was in accord with what the Father sent Him to do. He forgave his tormentors and even went further, making an excuse for them. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." click for the Luke 23:34 text 

The best thing we can do for ourselves is to follow Jesus' lead and seek to know and do the Father's will, because He knows the path that brings us to abundance of life. All the other ways are dead ends. Jesus came to show us the way, and He is himself the way to follow (John 14:6). We go to Jesus and will never be lost again. We open our hearts, minds, and souls to the Holy Spirit, the living flame of God's love that initiated the universe in the moment of the big bang or whatever it was that happened at the very beginning of the universe. 

The Holy Spirit, the third divine Person in God, though all powerful so as to appear frightening, is nonetheless so gentle as to be expressed in the warm and secure embrace of a parent for a little child. Read, ponder, and pray with Psalm 22, and look around in the other Psalms, and find that the three divine Persons - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - are always present to us.... We are the ones who go absent, lost in the illusion that we are alone.... We are never alone, because they love us and care for us. They allow us to make our decisions and live our lives, but they watch over us and help us to make men, women, of ourselves and participate fully in the unfolding of our lives. 

God bless you.....      Fr. Gilles

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Monday, June 02, 2008

What does Gospel mean? What do we need to get to Heaven?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Hello Dear Readers.... 

It's been 10 months since my last entry... incredible but true... Ah, the life of a busy pastor and hospital chaplain.... A kind visitor sent me a few questions and I am taking the liberty to post them with my response, since both may be of interest to others.... It often happens that people who are doing as Jesus suggested in the Gospel, people who ask, seek, and knock on the door come to pastors when they are not finding what it is they desire to know or understand, or when they want to test their pastor to see what kind of reception or response they'll get. 

At such times, a person may ask the kind of question that puts me back in the oral exam mode I experienced during my seminary time of formation which was, as the Rector put it, like being among the 12 apostles following the Lord around and learning from Him for a few years. This is something I don't mind at all but actually enjoy, since in a way it is a pure sort of reflection that is entirely focused on the truth, on goodness, justice, and goodness, which are all attributes of God. Here are the recent questions I was glad to receive. 

"I would like to know what "Gospel" means, and the importance of personally studying the Bible. Would you please comment on what is necessary for a person to go to heaven." You will find a more precise answer in texts or from a theology professor, but I can tell you that I remember that our English word "Gospel" comes from the German and literally is our derivation of the expression "good news" in the Gospels reported coming from Jesus' own mouth when He said "The time is at hand. Repent and believe the good news." 

Of course, the good news is what Jesus proclaims about God his Father and about our relationship with Him, about the salvation Jesus has been sent to offer humanity, and ultimately, the good news is someone, a divine Person, Jesus himself. Hence the importance of reading, praying with, meditating, and studying the Bible. Without the Word of God there is no good news, no Church, no salvation, and humanity is back where we were before Christ came, for He is himself the living Word of the Father; as John so eloquently reports at the beginning of his Gospel. 

When Jesus' work was complete, though the work He entrusted to his newborn Church had barely begun, he ascended and went back to the bosom of his Father, to be glorified again with the glory He enjoyed as the divine and eternal Son of God before He entered the veil that was his human flesh, which concealed as much as it revealed of his divinity and the abundant life the Father sent Him to offer fallen and lost humanity. 

Heaven is that glorious place or presence of the Father, which John in his Revelation describes as centered around a glorious throne around which are gathered the multitudes of angels and saints in constant joyful adoration and praise. Every human being in his or her right mind would want to be there, but part of Jesus' mission was to bring us to understand that we can only bring good and love into God's presence. Impure intentions and sin cannot cohabit with the Blessed Trinity, and even our soul will be embarrassed by any shred of remaining and unrepented sin and evil intentions when at the moment of death we find ourselves suddenly thrust in the glorious presence of God. 

Well then, what is necessary for a person to go to heaven? Nothing less than to become like Jesus; so that the Father might recognize in us the reflection of his divine Son. How do we do that and get there? This is the matter about which most pastors bear the burden of preaching every Sunday. 

Every Christian is drawn to Jesus Christ as the gift of God for the life of the world, which is the theme of the International Eucharistic Congress being held this year in Quebec, Canada from June 15-22 in Quebec City. As each Christian comes to the Lord, then gradually, day by day, with great kindness and mercy but also with firmness and the discipline of true love, Jesus prunes us of all that is not worthy of Him and of Heaven. As John reports in chapter 15 of his Gospel, Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. Not only must we remain connected to Him at all times to have life, but we must also endure his pruning day by day. 

I encourage you to continue searching for the truth, for Jesus himself, because the search is itself a grace, a work of the Holy Spirit within us, attracting us to Jesus, that He might have the joy of bringing us to his Father now and for all eternity. If you haven't read it or it's been a long time, may I suggest Pope John Paul II's first encyclical letter Redemptor Hominis on Jesus, the one Redeemer of Humanity, and many others of his letters and writings, sermons and teachings. 

There is also the Catechism of the Catholic Church among many other resources. You have only to let the Holy Spirit fan the flames of holy desire within you to know and to love God, and your humanity will affirm its spiritual nature and you will set out to discover more and more about God; so that you might allow Him to reveal himself to you more and more through the moments of everyday living. 

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Wednesday, August 08, 2007

What happens if we harbor anger too long? God helps us learn to understand and manage our emotions and their energy.

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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Dear Reader, 

When you respond by email through the blog, your message comes anonymously; so I can't respond to you personally. Should you want to send me email directly, you can find "Contact Father Gilles" form on the right navigation bar. Just fill in your name and email address and click on the SEND button and your message will be instantaneously sent to me personally. I'll be glad to answer you as soon as I can. Having said that, allow me to briefly answer the question I recently received from someone after my previous post of July 2nd, which took a lot of time and energy to do, and in part explains the lapse of time since then. 

I developed quite extensively the background context in which Christians and for that matter any human being can best understand the mechanism of anger. The person quoted me where I wrote: "On a human level, if you harbor your anger too long without acting you may begin to have homicidal fantasies - even though you may have no intention of ever acting them out - so you need to find some way to channel your anger, which is raw power, into some constructive form of action." 

What I didn't explain fully is that such fantasies tend to occur in more extreme situations. For example, one woman explained to me years ago that after her husband abandoned her and their young children, she just knew from the fantasies coming into her imagination that during that extremely emotional initial period, had she come upon him in front of her on the street while she was behind the wheel of her car; she would have been severely tempted to step on the gas and not on the brake. 

I believe that this would be a fairly common fantasy for abandoned women to have during the initial period of emotional turbulence, and this condition could last longer depending on what help she seeks for herself. That is just one example, but the point here is than anyone - man or woman, youth or child, young adult or elderly person - will have trouble with anger when it is allowed to simmer on the back burner for too long without relief of the pressure; much like a pot left to simmer too long on the back of the stove with the cover on tightly. 

What came after what the person quoted from me was an explanation of what kinds of things we can and must do in order for the mechanism of anger to play itself out, deliver its message, see that we have received the message, and then go away and leave us alone and in peace once again. What the reader mentioned was a much more normal and not at all extreme case of anger. In the normal course of the day, someone offends or hurts you, and you feel angry. However, out of Christian charity, you decide to love your neighbor - even when the neighbor behaves like an enemy - and you hold your anger in rather than act it out and react. So you don't react and you instead treat the person with equanimity, also out of concern for the example you are giving to others. You certainly don't want to cause scandal. 

I couldn't agree more. This is what Jesus did himself, and He didn't suggest we do the same; no, Jesus actually commanded us to love our enemies and do good to those who persecute us, and so on. Most of what I wrote in the last posting was not at all about what we actually do in our relations with others when the circumstances cause us to experience anger. Rather, what I was concerning myself with was on the inside of us, while the anger is going on, what we can do to help ourselves manage that energy of anger and what it does to us. We need to channel the energy of anger into some useful outcome so that it doesn't sit on our back burner and burn a hole through our pot, or boil over and cause a fire on our stove top, and so on. 

I certainly don't suggest that the only way to channel the energy of anger is to throw it in the face of the person who triggered that anger, no, not at all. We need though to acknowledge the anger happening inside us and we need to develop a whole bag full of tricks or ways of using or diverting that angry energy to useful outcomes. Here are a few examples. On the heels of anger churning up inside of you, your swim, run, or walk may become rather more vigorous than usual, as you give the anger free rein in a safe way and allow it to play itself out until you feel calm, loose, and peaceful again. 

If you need to beat the dust out of some carpets, well those carpets would get a beating the likes of which they've probably never seen! In a completely different way, if the situation causing your anger requires that you sit down and have a talk with someone, then the anger can give you the boost of energy you need to make up your mind to do it and to actually approach the person and not settle for no until the person finally agrees to meet with you. 

It is certainly possible for us to allow ourselves to be governed at all times by Christian charity, and love others - even enemies - as God has loved and continues to love us, which is in mercy, in a love so great we can never deserve it. Nevertheless, we can still, on the inside, manage our energy budget in such a way that the anger we are experiencing won't burn us up. 

The alarming thing about anger is that it will keep stirring us up as long as the conditions generating it continue to exist. The more difficult and outrageous the situation, the more intense and persistent the anger, and the more our anger managing strategies need to be creative, diverse, and effective. God bless you, and may the rest of what you find in the July 2nd post help you do that well, for your sake, for the sake of the good example you will give others, for the good of souls, and for the glory of God!

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Monday, July 02, 2007

Anger can actually become a moment of intimacy with God

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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What do you do when something really terrible is done or allowed to happen to you or a loved one, and you find yourself consumed with

anger if not rage that just wants to pulverize those who have acted as your enemy or the enemy of your family? We are all too familiar with Jesus' teaching, even commandment, to love our enemies and do good to those who persecute us and desire their good. What's difficult is actually doing that. 

May I share with you, reader, that one of my deep joys as a pastor is how readily children of God such as yourself are willing to entrust to us priests the amazing adventures of spirit that you - as we all do - encounter in your daily life, either to share with us the wonder of what the Blessed Trinity are doing in your soul, your marriage, your family, your lives, or to seek a little guidance among the many choices that open up on the path ahead of you, or simply out of need for a little light to better understand what is happening to you as you get caught up in thickets of thoughts and feelings in the very heat of the action as event unfold all around you. 

How beautiful your soul is when, in the midst of the intense anguish you may be experiencing, you still manage to care for your family, for others with whom you are relating, and even for the Lord; as you struggle with the intensity of your feelings, especially if you have an impression that these are unworthy of Him or in some way impure.... For example, by simply observing a wrong being done we can feel somehow defiled by what we saw, even though we bear in no way any responsibility for it. 

Another example, perhaps more common and at the same time also difficult, is the myriad forms in which we can and do experience anger, which also leaves us in a feeling of defilement or impurity, if for no other reason than the sheer primitive intensity of this emotion and the aftermath of anger clinging to us as an impure residue. How wrong we are but also right. It is true that anger and indeed many of our feelings have a primitive quality about them, I mean that they are raw, located right in our gut as it were, and intense, and so totally what they are. 

Let's examine anger as an example, since it is so common an experience. We must say that anger is exactly what it is, and it is not the same as love at all, but that does not mean that they are exclusive, because there are different centers of feeling within us. I sense that just a little more understanding about how we work as human beings can help us a great deal to find a bit more perspective that can allow us to find the freedom inside ourself that we ache for so much to be able to make the decisions we long to be able to make. 

What is in a way most intense in us is the flesh, the body, because it is, well, so all pervasive, we just can't ever get away from our flesh. Hindu and Buddhist and other religious people give themselves all kinds of disciplines to deprive the flesh and as it were starve it into submission, to reduce the hold it has on the spirit and keeps it as it were earthbound, but that is not the way that Jesus revealed and came to the Earth to give us. We have been created as souls enfleshed in the body, which as it were clothes the soul and lets it touch and be touched and interact with the creation all around us. The flesh has been made good by our Father, and its greatest virtue or strength is its truthfulness. 

What I mean is that if you burn yourself it will hurt, and if you rest yourself your body wants to hug and thank you for caring for it, and so on. Our body allows us to make contact with others with affection or understanding or compassion, or romance, or discipline, or friendship, through a look, a touch, a tone of voice, and so many different and creative ways of giving expression in a visible or audible way to what is hidden deep inside of us. 

However, our body and its movements, sensations, emotions, and feelings, is also at times clouded by what are called passions and appetites. If unbridled, untamed, unbefriended, these passions and appetites can enslave the entire body and the person inhabiting it, confuse the whole person, and even tear it apart. That is why is simply is not wise to allow the flesh and its ways dominate our whole person, and why we must integrate our other levels, centers, or dimensions, or whichever way you would prefer to speak of our mind and its faculties and our spirit and its powers. 

It is in what we call the mind that come together very complex processes that make up what we call the human consciousness or awareness: apprehension - which processes all our sensory information sent to the brain; understanding - which makes sense of all that data; memory - which stores all that sensory data as well as all our conscious and even unconscious experiences; imagination - which takes all that we have stored and can play with it to create new patterns, images, ideas; reason - which can take the realm of ideas, experiences, and motives and put order in it and relate it to everything else that exists outside of ourselves and inside of us; and so on. 

Then, there is the realm of the spirit or soul. That, my Dear Reader, is far more subtle than the mind, though the mind itself can reach great heights and depths of subtle understanding and interpretation. That is because the spirit or soul, more than any other part of us human beings, is most like God, like each of the three divine Persons, because like them, our soul is immortal and can never be destroyed by anything that exists in the universe, except God - the three Divine Persons themselves - but they are committed never to do any soul any harm, let alone destroy one. 

Having said that, we don't know what exactly a soul is, because we don't know exactly what a divine person is either, not the way we know what an acorn is, or a stone, or a neuron that does what it does in our brain. We know primarily by intuition that we have a soul, some dimension beyond what science can measure, in the very heart of what makes us what and who we are, because we are much more than the sum of what can be seen, observed, or explained. 

We also know from the exceptionally determined and humble ones among us, the saints, that in the realm of the soul, a different set of rules or laws is at work. Whereas in the world, we must make efforts to achieve anything or get anywhere, in the soul, we must accept freely to be docile - willing to be led, like a child, by the hand; passive - willing to wait however long it takes for the moment to be right; receptive - willing to let the Divine Persons do what they do best and when they decide is the best time to do it and to receive whatever they decide to do within us. 

When we or someone we love has been or is being hurt, violated, or threatened in any way, and especially in a serious way, we have every right to be angry but often feel somehow defiled by our anger and are in anguish that this anger is coloring and dominating our life at all the other levels and preventing us from being truly present to our family, to God, to colleagues, to friends, and even to ourself. One primary reason is because anger is a God given attribute that has a very specific and time limited purpose. The longer we entertain it the more it tends to poison or turn against us and eat us up from within. If someone steps on your toe you automatically shout out "Hey, that's my foot!" That's a form of anger and the anger is a messenger bringing the pain in your foot to your attention so that the rational part of you has the sudden surge of power and strength to act: in this case to shout out and rush to the defense of your foot to undo the harm already done and prevent any further harm. 

The greater the harm, threat, danger, or loss, the more intense the anger, because the obstacles to overcome are probably proportionate to the harm, threat, danger or loss. However, just exploding into action may not and probably won't achieve effective deliverance, because we would just be acting blindly and only by random chance might we succeed in accomplishing what needs to be done. So, our body's rush of anger needs to go and consult with all the powers our mind can muster in order to get a full grasp of what's going on and what's at stake and what are the ramifications of every conceivable course of action we want to entertain in response. 

All that is well and good, but it still isn't enought to come up with a truly human response, because we need to go further and consult our soul or spirit, where we know by intuition and by faith if not by experience that the three Divine Persons always dwell with us unless we are in mortal sin. Even then they only stand outside the door until we decide we've had enough of the sin, repent, and ask them to return, and they come rushing like loving parents. As we consult our own soul and the Blessed Trinity abiding in our soul, we gain a much wider perspective and see a lot more possibilities of action and consequences and ramifications, and have the greatest freedom to consider carefully what we want to do in accord with the MEANING AND PURPOSE WE WANT TO GIVE TO OUR LIFE. (This is an expression which I first heard at this Institute and which they use in the course of their formation program designed to help people live their lives with greater autonomy.) 

That is why what Jesus did on the cross was so remarkable. Yes, He fully suffered cruel agony on the cross, and didn't appreciate it one bit, but He remained in touch with that part of himself, his soul, where He shared the Father's love for human beings - even the most wretched sinner - because by intuition as a human being He knew what He naturally understood as the Son of God: that each human soul has infinite value because it has been personally created by the Father. Just as each human child born of parents was specially made in love and conceived in a moment of great self giving by a husband and wife, and so is special and unique, and that uniqueness and value becomes visible in time as the child grows up and chooses or fails to choose to open up and develop much or all of its potential; so it is with each soul. 

On a human level, if you harbor your anger too long without acting you may begin to have homicidal fantasies - even though you may have no intention of ever acting them out - so you need to find some way to channel your anger, which is raw power, into some constructive form of action. Anger aroused by harm done, something lost, or persistent threat of harm can be resolved in one of three ways: 1. If the thing lost is returned or the threat ceases; 2. if something of greater value than the thing lost is given as compensation or an apology is offered for threats already made; 3. failing #1 or 2, all that remains is to let go of the thing lost, to release it and accept its loss, or to find some way to either live with the ongoing threats or move away from them to an effectively safe distance. 

Any of these three will allow anger's message to be received and resolved, and the anger will dissipate. The best motivator for #3 is love, not the cheap sentimental hollywood feel good kind, but simply a pure hearted desire for the good of the other and letting go of any desire or attempt to change the other. This is what Jesus commanded us his disciples to do because it is the true test and way for us to practice being like Him and children of our Father in heaven, because this is the way He loves each of us. None of us deserve the great immeasureable riches of his love and eternal life, not matter how good we think we are. Ultimately, our very life and breath are gifts being offered us from moment to moment and over which we have no power or control as to how much longer we will go on living. 

Even greater are the gifts of inner life and love by which we have begun to live with the same life and love the three divine Persons have inside and among themselves. This is a far greater and priceless gift, and we can only live it and go on enjoying it by trying to be open to the full extent of it, which is to exclude no one from the embrace of that love, especially not those who harm us, precisely because in harming us they betray themselves and reveal what a poverty they are themselves. If they were rich inside with the wealth of God, they would not behave in this way. For them to go on in their poverty will lead them to eternal misery unless they change, and that would be a far greater punishment than anything our devious little minds could cook up for their torture. 

As we manage to find within ourselves the will and openness to trust the Blessed Trinity to know what is happening to us, to allow it for their kind purposes and in view of what will be not just good but actually the best for us and those we love; then we are securely on the path that Jesus walked and opened for us to follow behind Him. Trust in the Blessed Trinity and hope in the future they are bringing about in us are perfect dispositions for walking with the Lord, and these attitudes of spirit bring us peace and joy, even in the very heat of difficulty and trial, as contradictory as this seems to eyes open to see only as the world sees. 

Of course, even with the best of dispositions we can expect a little more turbulence, human nature being as it is, as our memory resurfaces impressions, sensations, feelings, and thoughts.... Know Dear Reader that even though there may be moments when you feel yourself going backwards, that is, regressing, or succumbing again to intense feelings, it actually is not so. We are indeed very complex, intricately made, and functioning on many levels, and it takes time for the light shining from the face of Jesus to penetrate into the deepest parts of the most secluded rooms in the mansion or castle of our soul. 

Each situation, relationship, memory, event, experience, feeling, can have such substance that it actually constitutes a room in the castle of our soul, and as such, is in need of the light and love of God so that we may surrender it to the lordship of Jesus. This is such a profound and patient, painstaking process that it is not something we can plan, let alone achieve, ourselves, but it is the beautiful work of the Holy Spirit in us. Our part, as each moment of the day unfolds, is simply to venture forward with trust in the Father's love and like a trusting child with its hand buried in the bigger hand of its Mom or Dad, allow the Holy Spirit to "touch" that part of our soul and bring it to life, order, harmony, peace, and fruitfulness. 

To put it simply, as each moment of our day unfolds, pleasant or painful, it is that very moment that can become an opportunity for the Holy Spirit to continue his work in us, as we simply hand over that moment to his grace, and surrender it into the power of his touch in the love flowing from the Father to us through Jesus. It can happen through an inner dialogue as simple as, 
"Ouch! O Father, I thought this was settled, but I guess there's more in there that needs your love and the healing touch of your Holy Spirit. Take this memory, pain, anger, whatever; I give it to You. Glorify yourself in me and configure my heart, mind, and soul to Jesus, that I may walk on with Him and live like Him." 
 These are my words, but you see the gist... you too Reader can spontaneously enter into this kind of dialogue yourself with the Father, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit with words from your own heart, or at times even without words, as St. Paul mentions in Romans 8, where our soul prays simply through the groaning of labor pains within us... God be always with you and your family, and may the Blessed Trinity enjoy greater and greater freedom to glorify themselves - make themselves visible and attractive to others - in and through you.

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Why are apparently good men leaving their wives and children - when it's not women leaving their husbands and children?

My purpose in these posts is to bring a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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What follows has been prompted by yet one more wonderful lady and her children being dropped by her apparently good husband and father, but the truth wasn't fully known until he revealed himself to the light of day and what was hidden in him finally came out, but it is sadly also applicable to some wonderful men who have been abandoned with their children by their apparently good wife and their mother. So what gives? 

What a joy it is for me as a pastor to occasionally hear from someone I once served and who moved away as they just decide to contact me or as I send - which I don't like to and rarely do - one of those email warnings about something or other. What a shock it is for me to hear yet one more time that she has been abandoned by her man. Every time it happens everything in me wants to scream. "Do you realize what you're doing to them and to yourself? Don't you know that you are bailing out at the very moment and threshold of dramatic growth for you as a person, if only you face what it is that's going on and go through it, but no, you turn back and leave. What a waste. 

The loss is almost entirely yours, because the one who gets left behind will almost certainly grow, even if at first it's only for the sake of the children." I really don't get what's happening to men in our society and culture... It's like they're not growing up.... What I really find strange is that all too often, at least where I have been, the woman is very beautiful, talented, smart, skillful, and just plain good and kind and generous, and the list goes on. It seems that no family is spared and everyone knows someone who is going through this, someone close, and I am no exception. 

What's interesting is that some of them have been telling me that they've discovered - the Lord is giving them - a new freedom and realization of how much they had been carrying their man, who really in varying degrees hadn't been fully a husband nor a father in too many ways to tell; nor for that matter, fully a man either. It would be harder to the extent that he seemed in any way a good husband and/or father.... or if the shoe is on the other foot and the one who left seemed to be a good wife and mother. 

Then the trap is to begin wondering what you did wrong, what was the cause that forced your spouse to leave you, but it's only a trap. The cause is not in yourself but in him or her who left you and your children. Of course, you're not perfect, who is? The point is that life is like that, and we are here on Earth precisely to experience the "sandpaper effect" of rubbing up against each other in irritating ways, so that our rougher edges may be smoothed and we might actually become more beautiful, kind, understanding, loving, ready to defend the good and the truth, and be generous. The point of life is to become more deliberate and intentional in giving meaning and purpose to our lives by loving others.

Then there's the other trap at the other end, where the one who left was such a dead weight that you now may feel guilty about feeling so relieved of the burden of his dead weight that you actually feel glad, joyful, elated.... Don't feel guilty... that's just another trap. The fact is that a woman gladly carries the weight of her man during his struggles and uncertainties, and her constant love and support supplies him with time and an environment that actually incubates him and allows him to grow and put in his efforts and make of himself a better man. 

Our Father Creator designed woman with the capacity to do that and to do it gladly; that's how she nurtures life, and it is one of her greatest sources of satisfaction. The Creator designed man to awaken to her goodness and to gladly, freely, and generously cherish her. Then the circle is complete and her love and efforts come back to her. 

Conversely, the Creator made man to notice woman, to value her and take her under his wing. He leads her from her parents' home to a home of her own, even in cases where she is so talented and able that she actually leads in many of the decisions they make. We're not talking about who wears the pants here, but rather about the topography of the human soul. Woman has been designed by the Creator to desire and expect to have her own value noticed, wanted, appreciated, and affirmed in the eyes of another who looks upon her with love. She has been designed to be cherished. 

So when a man does that and after a shorter or longer time she leaves him and even her own children behind, he can fall into the same trap of wondering what he did wrong, but it's just a trap. It's not about him or the children, who also wonder what they did to cause Mommy not to love them anymore and leave, but it's mostly about her and the decisions she has made. This man needs to remember that he is good and lovely and precious in the eyes of his true Father in Heaven, and that he has not lost his ability to love and be loved. At first he must carry on for the sake of the children, but in time, he will discover that he did not squander his love on her who left him, but rather that he has grown through it all and has become a better man. 

You know, I've had lots of time to think about such hurts that really should never happen, wondering what is happening to the countless millions of people suffering such injustices and neglect and worse.... and where is our loving Father in all of that... I remember that He only ever has one answer to all our situations and questions: his own Beloved Son, the Word, whom He sent and who accepted to be sent to come among us, and whom we celebrate with such joy - and good reason - every Christmas... Jesus, the Beloved of our soul and the True Bridegroom of his Bride, the Church, us. 

He will ever remain faithful to us, having already poured out his life for us and for all of humanity who simply accept to receive the gift of his life by accepting to be called by it to move up a little higher and become a little better..... Woman, or man, you who have been abandoned by one not willing to rise to the dizzying heights of true and profound love, love that is faithful and true and learns to leave self behind, this is an opportunity for you to rediscover in a deeper way the simple goodness of you, of your life, which is a precious gift from God to you. 

You are ever so precious a daughter or son in the Father's eyes, and He has so much trust in you to know that and to breathe deep and drink deeply from the springs of Living Water He has given to erupt in you - the Holy Spirit - from the moment of your Baptism and strengthened at your Confirmation and fanned into flame with every incident on the road of life as you allow it to prompt you to open wider with ever deeper trust the windows and doors of your soul.... 

Please give my regards to your children... Tell them that they are very special... They have a very good Mom or Dad who has chosen freely to remain faithful and true to them and won't leave them ever - until their body gives out and their soul moves on to be with God - and what has happened is not their fault, nor is it the fault of their Mom or Dad who has remained behind. It's mostly about their Dad or Mom who left and the choices they are making. It's also because of our culture and times.... 

It isn't a good time for good, strong, just men to sprout up from the Earth... It's also becoming a very bad time for good, strong, nurturing women to sprout up from the Earth.... There was a time when many men tended to get caught up in macho activities to prove themselves and left the women to do the important and foundational work of rearing children and forging character in their children, and so women grew and became powerful and wise. Those times are quickly fading. 

Too successful is the great lie being propagated by interests that want to manipulate and control destinies and/or want to hinder or even abolish the great and wonderful design of the Creator for our happiness. So more and more girls and women are trying to define themselves by being better men than males, proving they can do anything men can do or even better, proving to themselves they can enjoy the same sexual irresponsibility that for so long has been the "reserve" of men who don't have to carry newly created human beings in pregnancy and don't see how they destroy themselves and others. 

The tragedy is that by the time woman discovers what God already knew and intended, that she can do what man does at least as well and often better, it may be too late for her to realize that wasn't the point. God designed men to compete against themselves, to become ever better verions of their own self, not to become better than others, but mostly, the Creator designed men to develop a life, a self, so that then they might freely and gladly lay that self aside in order to apply all their energy and devotion to cherish the woman who has accepted to share and enhance their existence. 

God designed women to be content to observe the man competing against himself and by her freely and gladly given companionship be as a catalyst that enhances his ability to more quickly develop a life which he can then gladly and freely devote to her and cherish first her and then also their children. He designed her to find her inner satisfaction rather in fully developing her own potentialities for giving and nurturing life all around her, like a fruitful vine, but if she allows the great lie to distract her gaze from her own inner goodness and accepts to look outside herself for a measure of her own worth; then she will reject her own fertility and fruitfulness and become an arid and sterile wasteland that in the end remains alone and empty. 

The tragedy of our times is that our culture has developed especially in the past fifty years around the momentum of reacting against elders and former ways of living in an insatiable search for novelty and the futile attempt to satisfy the appetites of the flesh. These appetites have been incorporated into our nature to help us survive and to add color to life, but they have no lasting substance. Our true human substance is something that grows root, stem, leaf, and fruit from within our spirit and has to do with our design to give and nurture life, one way or another, in our own children or in other ways of adding life to others by our presence and services. 

This new orientation is actually not new at all. It was introduced at the very dawn of humanity and we have an account of it in Genesis in the drama staged with a first primordial couple, Adam (man) and Eve (wo-man = from man). The great lie is to believe we can do better than follow the design inscribed within our very nature, but the proof is in the origin of the message we choose to believe. Our Creator loves us and designed us to be happy in a lasting and even eternal way, whereas the stranger who wants our attention and discredits our design wants nothing else than our total and utter destruction. 

The choice of orientation is ours. Will we have the wisdom to recognize the innate genius, beauty, and wonder of our own inner design, or will we prefer the attractive but artificial, sterile, and empty appearance? That is the test of our humanity. Too many of us are not passing the test... We are being sifted like wheat by the events of an ever more frantic culture, abundance, and prosperity.... to discover what is really inside of us. No one can escape being tested. 

It's only when we discover what is inside of us that we know the truth, and knowing the truth about ourselves, we can act accordingly. Jesus' response to our situations was: "Repent and believe the Good News!" What good news? That He has come no to leave us orphans but to restore us to our true Father. 

God bless you dear sister, dear brother, who have been abandoned but are not orphans, because you still have your true Father above, and the One who came among us to at last make Him known and loved. May this loving and Blessed Trinity of divine persons continue to pour out the Holy Spirit and have mercy on all the delinquent and lost spouses and parents who have left their treasures behind, blinded to their value and enamoured of the lie that they must cultivate their own life alone or with someone else; for sooner or later they will have to face the truth they are trying to escape. That day of awakening will be terrible if their back is still turned to God the Creator of us all. 

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My purpose in these posts is to help spread the contributions of a variety of Christian and other writers in a desire to share significant writings that in my estimation contribute to the common good and directly or indirectly give glory to God and extend the Lord's work of salvation to all of humanity. G.S.

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© 2004-2021 All rights reserved Fr. Gilles Surprenant, Associate Priest of Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montreal  QC
© 2004-2021 Tous droits réservés Abbé Gilles Surprenant, Prêtre Associé de Madonna House Apostolate & Poustinik, Montréal QC
 

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